Chapter 12: Your worst nightmare

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After a night like I just passed, I opted for a small walk in the city

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After a night like I just passed, I opted for a small walk in the city. Alone. Obviously. I walk on a Sunday morning in the streets of Boston. I need calm in this madness that has become my life. I go out, I drink, I don't sleep and my nightmares are more and more frequent. Moreover, this madness declines its identity now in the evenings. I can not explain what happened last night. And alcohol did not help anything. I remember some parts of the party. Alcohol, my nerve crisis, Jake and the strange behavior he showed towards me. I ask myself too many questions.

-Three dollars, please? The young student of the Starbucks Coffee gets impatient in front of me.

- Excuse me ! Hold on . Sorry, I didn't hear you!

Surely you did not listen to him, Eden. As always, you are always dreaming.

I give to the student who, according to the badge hanging on his apron, is named Ludo, a 5 dollar bill. As soon as the waiter gives me change, I grab my coffee and I go to continue my morning walk.

October's fresh air whipped my face. This season is definitely my favorite. I like the warm colors of the soil. Red, orange ... Everything is more beautiful, more true.

I'm really looking forward to one date: October 31st. It can be absurd, but I love Halloween. I always found this fun party. Having received a Catholic education, I dreamed of being able to go out to knock on the doors of the neighbors in my neighborhood in order to be able to deliver to them the phrase known worldwide: "Trick or treat". But my parents were against this idea. They always repeated that Halloween was a commercial party, stupid, useless and that there was nothing fun to celebrate in this way the dead. That's how they managed to take away some of my childhood, but this year everything is different.

For many people, it's just disguises, for me it's more than that. It's a good time to express who we really are by using clothes that we do not normally wear. It is also the only time in the year where no one is judged on his appearance.

I walked so much that without realizing it, I find myself at Boylston street. This is another place that helps me escape: the Boston Public Library. I take my camera out of my backpack and enjoy taking pictures of the beautiful building standing in front of me. He is solemn and imposing. The fact that it is the first public library in the United States attracts many visitors every year.

I capture every moment. There are a lot of people. People of all nationalities merge in one place. I'm photographing a group of Korean people holding a big map. Then I take a mother on the phone who pushes a stroller with a child who should not be older than five. I am having fun for a few minutes.

What is intoxicating with photography is that each of them is unique. It can be interpreted in its own way, inventing lives for these people or places. We can try to understand them, to create stories that are sometimes far-fetched. With photography, there is always something magical. At the moment I take one, I don't think anymore. My camera and I are one. I am deported to the world that I created in my mind as a child. A world where my problems no longer exist, where everything is angelic and where kindness dominates. A world where black does not exist.


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