Chapter 36: i want to live

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Life is an endless cycle in which children try not to make the same mistakes as their parents

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Life is an endless cycle in which children try not to make the same mistakes as their parents. We fight each day not to look like them, not to have the same life as them. Some simply want to experience new adventures and hectic. At least, this thought turns out to be my daily philosophy.

My mother married at a young age with a man she had known for a very short time. She became pregnant twice. She ended up with two children and an alcoholic husband with violent tendencies. I do not want to become like her!

I want to live.

I want to enjoy every moment of my life so as not to regret anything. I'm not the kind of girl who falls easily into a person's net. I am even less a person who projects quickly into the future.

However, in recent months, my daily life has changed dramatically. It became more radiant and animated. Thanks to Jake, I manage to lock my problems in a closed double-turn box. I feel, in his company, like a phoenix rising from the ashes.

In this morning, I carry my cup of coffee to my lips while admiring the cloudless sky. Jake was not awake when I came down. It's not a bad thing, so I can focus on the events that have happened to me since I returned to Los Angeles.

I sit on my grandparents' mezzanine swing in search of answers that will probably never appear. When I admire the sky commonly called "The home of angels and gods", I instantly think of my grandfather who is the member of my family I was closest to. Unfortunately, I lost him hurriedly. His disappearance has been so violent that from time to time I ask myself a question: is he really dead?

Armand Smith was my father by substitution. Since Luke was always at the front or at military gatherings, I spent most of my time in this house at my grandfather's hooks. He was a gentle man full of wisdom. He was good. A man continually ready to help others.

His physique was small, slender and with a bald head. He was a human exhibiting an innate class, being born in the 1920s. He always wore his gray beret, a white shirt with a brown short-sleeved vest over it. I loved him so much that when he disappeared, my whole world collapsed. And my happiness evaporated at the same time as him.

What saddens me most about this story is the fact that he did not have the power to see his daughter one last time before pushing his last breath. My mother was already far away when he left us.

My dear father had already make her leave. Despite my father's distress, going to this place gave me joy.

I forgot my troubles.

Of course, he never took cognizance of Luke's assault on me. And fortunately. I think he would have killed him. As strange as it may seem, Jake reminds me of my grandfather sometimes.

I know for a fact that my grandfather was born in the 1920s and I am only eighteen years old. So his age seems to be impossible. And yet, it is the truth and it is provided with an explanation: my grandparents have faced a lot of difficulties to have a child. For these reasons, my grandmother gave birth to my mother at the age of forty-two. They were older than average.

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⏰ Last updated: May 02, 2019 ⏰

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