Chapter 11: Resistance

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Tonight, I'm once again invited to a student party

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Tonight, I'm once again invited to a student party. I knew that April would like me to go. She feels we do not spend enough time together. It is true that since the fright that Jake  gave  me last week, I was in a ritual rather routine: get up, go to class, go back to my room, study, read and finally sleep.

Sometimes I go for a walk in the streets of Boston. Especially in the park a few kilometers away from the campus.It's name is Boston Common. When I go to this park, I feel like reliving. This green space is a real cash. With its red and white gazebo, its carousels where children can have fun and the terraces that allow the people who walk there to take a break in their walk and drink a small glass, it is impossible not to to like it. I take a book with me most of the time. Being installed in the beautiful kiosk of the park and reading a book is magical. I dive into another universe. A universe where I have no problem and where my moral state is not disturbing.

Indeed, since this third famous nightmare, my insomnia has intensified. I didn't think we could lack of sleep that much. Of course, my sleep disability is noticeable. I'm inattentive (except when I read). And don't even talk about my physique. I feel constantly in a state of excessive weakness and the pockets below my eyes, which were, before, almost invisible, have turned into dark circles. I look like a Panda.

Today, April will not pick me up in my university room. I will walk to the party. I want to face my fear of the dark. Walking at night scares me deeply. I always feel like someone is watching me or following me. It's very simple, I associate black with danger.

I wash myself and prepare for the feast that will take place at the Capa fraternity. I hate fraternities. But, April begged me to go and I'm weak. As a result, I said yes.

On the occasion of this fiesta, I opted, this time for a white t-shirt, a black Jean and the only pair of Doc Martens I have. Nothing's easier. Regarding makeup, I applied a line of eyeliner that makes me cat eyes and of course, I did not forget to put a ton of concealer complexion on my big black circles mixed with red and blue. My eyes look like a bad work of art. I take my bag, don't forget my keys and I leave for the party.

Fortunately the place of celebration is only fifteen minutes away from my room. During the whole trip, I always tightened my bag against me, as a sign of protection and I did not stop turning every hundred meters.

I arrive at the fraternity house and see people already drunk on the stairs of the exterior facade. I ignore them and enter the house. Inside, people sweat, dance, drink. I received a message from April telling me that the group was in a living room on the second floor. So I decide to join them since I only know them. I could try to blend in and dance with others, but I'm not like that. I have no friends. I don't even consider the group I stay with as friends. Except maybe April. After all, she has been kind to me since the beginning and I trust her.

I join them in the living room and notice that everyone is present, including the singer. I had doubted it, and I'm fine with it. He looks at me intently into the room and sit next to April. This one greets me.

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