Chapter 9: Confusion

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"But what am I doing here? Where am I ? Who are these people? I can not discern their faces

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"But what am I doing here? Where am I ? Who are these people? I can not discern their faces. Why do I have blurred vision? I'm in a room, I'm scared, but by what? My muscles ... I don't feel them anymore, they are heavy. I don't control my body or my mind. I know! We are at a party. That's why there are so many people. A foggy, empty, and apathetic universe surrounds me. I feel like I'm alone in the huge white room. The others don't hear me scream when I notice that someone has captured my hand to take me to another Cosmos. I did not even stop him, I couldn't do it. I'm trying to scream for help. In vain, nobody hears me. Only my mind understands and records my calls for help. Not my body, nor other people. Even the nameless individual does not seem to hear my alarming cries. No, what are you doing? Where are you going with me? My body is only a machine. My soul is only a shine. And suddenly, my body realizes what the mind believes in.

I beg you, don't do that, don't do that, don't do that!

- DON' T DO THAT!

The return to reality is brutal. I can no longer discern the real of the imagination. I'm lost. My sheets are soaked with sweat and a violent headache is devouring me. A nightmare, it was only a nightmare, Eden. If it was really a nightmare, why did it look so real? Every smell, every uncontrolled movement, and even the environment I was in seemed so real. This may be strange, but I felt that my unconscious was trying to reveal something to me. One thing I didn't know. What can these terrors report? This is already the third time I have this kind of bad dream. That must have a meaning. Maybe I'm just crazy?

My breathing is fast. I sit in my bed, wrapped in a flowery blanket, legs crossed. I observe my room. She is very basic. She has a wardrobe, a desk, a nightstand next to my tiny bed, a library, and some quotes I stuck to the walls. One of them particularly attracts me: "The body is the tomb of the soul. From the famous Platon. The words of the philosopher correspond perfectly to what is happening to me. I have to think of something else, which is not easy.

It is at this moment that I hear a violent knock on the door. I jump and tears come to my eyes. Why do I react that way? I would love to have the answers.

— Eden, damn, open this door! My older brother's voice is full of worry and anger. I push a long breath and get out of my bed.

— I arrive! I say with a dead voice. I try to stop my tears, I don't want my brother to see me like that. He would ask for explanations. And how to give answers when we don't know them ourselves?

I get up and head for the door without bothering to look in the mirror.

Ian's blue eyes are killing me on the spot. He is not happy. What's his problem?

— What's up, Ian? I insist on his name to show him that his presence is not welcome at the moment.

— what is happening to you ? I heard you scream. He answers me, worried. Ian has always managed to read in me as in an open book. Which is not always pleasant, because I can not hide anything from it.

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