Arabella || Luke Hemmings

funeral

December 23, 1984 - The Funeral

LUKE'S POV

I wished that I could say that I was coping well. Ten days had passed and I was not coping at all. I had not been hungry, I had not slept, I had not smiled, I felt like I could not breathe. I was not religious, but every sunset in Frost, Texas, I sat outside, praying that the doctor's would call and say that they were joking and that she was still alive. We all wanted a Christmas miracle, but I'd pleaded to the point where I'd lost all pride to just have a Christmas miracle. Though, I was starting to believe those things didn't exist and only happened in movies.

I'd visited with Aurora and Aiden often, Aurora was still quiet and Aiden was moody. Aurora distracted herself with cleaning the house, even recently deciding to do some home improvement activities even if her house looked incredible compared to the others in this small town. Aiden blankly stared at a history documentary, sipping coffee, and every so often a beer. He added his own little dialogue to the history appearing on the television and then talked about how much Arabella would love to sit here with him and I with eyes as wide as the Pacific, completely mesmerized by what was on the screen. Then he would get emotional and he would sob into the inside of his elbow while I sat nearby unclear of how to console him because I could not even console myself. I felt slightly unwelcome in the house so I didn't go over too much or stay longer than welcome.

A week after all the injuries, the doctor's gave everyone the okay to head back to Frost, where they'd be carefully checked up on by a doctor here. Newby was very persistent on having Loch, Jax, Ricky, and Haze heal to perfection at home. He said it'd be better for Haze to be around familiar things, it'd help her remember or something, I didn't know though. All I knew was that none of us were truly happy right now, there was an unspoken agreement that we all wished we could go back to February and deny the offer to tour together, so things would be different right now. One change of events could've stopped this from happening.

I listened to the empty and haunting wind every morning at 5 o'clock, waiting for the sun to rise and for my Arabella to come back. I heard the farm animals nearby making sounds and starting their day's without worries. It was odd to wake up everyday in a place like Frost, it was calming and eerie and depressing all at once.

I listened to the sobs of Haze coming from her bedroom, as Karma and Eco offered me a place to stay while I was here, giving me the guest bedroom that was near Haze's room.

Three days in Frost, three days in this small ass town that could drive anyone insane. Three days in the town that she used to happily walk around. I wondered if she went to the park near her house. I wondered if she was like a goddess in her run down high school...

My mom and dad offered to fly in to be with me, but I didn't need them here. I didn't need anyone. So, I convinced myself until I ended up sitting on Haze's bed, watching her intently. She was the closest thing I could get close to that could remind me of Arabella, sure her memory was a little - greatly - off, but Haze gave me some comfort even if she wasn't comfortable within herself. She was able to tell me one or two stories about "recent" Arabella, but stopped because she was working herself up - or Ashton made her stop because he didn't want her to make herself sick or disrupt something in her.

"Is...is Ashton always so...clingy...?" Haze whispered to me. Though, Ashton was in the shower and most likely could hear nothing she still whispered.

"Why?" I took my attention off the best friend photograph, standing on the nightstand beside Haze's bed. Arabella must've only been 15 in that picture with her arm draped over Haze's shoulders and pressing a kiss to her friend's cheek.

"He won't let me do anything by myself..." She stared down at the dress she lied out for the funeral. I couldn't get the fact out of my head that Haze spoke so innocently and scared, like she didn't have the guts she used to. "H-he got really upset yesterday."