Not Alone

Part 16

"Dead? What? How?!" Isla asks.

"He was caught in the girl's side and they killed him," Nick says.

"But weren't you over at his house earlier?" I ask.

"Yeah...I was talking to his parents about it. We're all really upset," he says.

"How come you didn't tell me earlier?" I ask.

"I didn't want to bring it out on you right then," he says.

"When did he-" I say.

I just couldn't get myself to say he was dead. I couldn't believe it.

"Yesterday," he says.

"That's so stupid. Did they not know they were going to stop this stupid rule today and they killed him?!" I say as more tears fell.

"I'm sorry Destiny," he says.

He comes closer to me and starts hugging me. I hug him back. I couldn't stop thinking about him though. How much I wish that I could be hugging Shawn right now.

"Des? Come on you need some rest. You barely slept and you can't keep crying about him," Isla says gently rubbing my shoulder.

"I don't want to," I say, my voice sounding weak and forced.

"Destiny she's right. Go sleep. Try to calm down a bit okay?" Nick on says.

"Okay," I say.

I stand up and drag myself to my room. I brush my teeth but I don't even know how. I feel like I'm in a drunk state of mind and I have no clue what I'm doing. I'm just being dragged around by my legs. After I was done, I go to room and try to sleep but I can't. I think of all the good moments we had with each other. Our first time talking on the rooftop. I remember how beautiful it was and the moon shining, making his eyes sparkle more than ever. How I was always so excited to be done with school and go talk to him. How we saw each other for the first time. How helped me get through everything like Isla's "death" and her actually being alive. He was always there for me. How our first kiss was so perfect and felt so amazing but we had to hide our feelings because of a stupid rule. How every second of every day I longed to be with him, talking to him or listening to him talk. I miss him so much that it's killing me. I felt closer to him than I ever did to anyone else, even closer than my mom and Isla. He was different. And that's when it hit me. I didn't just have a tiny crush on him, I was falling in love him. But now he's gone and I'm still here. He's dead and there's nothing anyone can do about it. I started crying into my pillow again until I hear the door open.

"Oh, Destiny! Stop crying honey!" she says, coming to sit next to me on the bed.

"Isla I miss him so much! I can't stop thinking about him!" I say.

"I know but you just have to do whatever you can to not think about it otherwise it'll only keep hurting you more and more," she says.

"Isla I think I was falling in love with him," I say.

"Oh..." she says.

"He makes me feel so amazing. He makes me feel like I actually belong in this world and there's a reason for me to stay. He makes me happier than I have ever been. When I'm with him I feel like I can truly be myself. I laugh more than I have ever laughed when I'm with him," I say.

"Come here," she says, gesturing for me to hug her.

I hug her and rest my head on her shoulder. She rubs my back while I cry on her shoulder.

"It's okay, it's okay. It'll all get better eventually. I promise," she says.

"I've heard too many promises," I say, "I'm sick of them."

"I'm sorry," she says.

Soon I feel my eyes getting tired and the next thing I know, I fall asleep. The last thing I remember is Isla helping me lie down on my bed.