Maimoon

The Final Blow

A hankali na mike na koma kan gadon na zauna ina bin contents din da kallo. Hotuna ne wajan kala ashirin, sai takardu anyi binding dinsu kamar wani project report. Na fara daukan hotunan daya bayan daya ina kalla. Kaina kamar wacce aka shafe min memory na gaba daya, kwakwalwata ta kasa assessing abinda idanu na suke gani.

Hoton farko dana fara dauka hoton Ibrahim ne, yana tsaye a kusa da wani masallaci da sallaya a hannunsa, fuskarsa da alamar bacin rai a tare da shi. Na kurawa fuskarsa ido, komai yana nan kamar yadda nasan shi sai duhu da fatar sa tayi, next photo shi dinne dai akan kujera a kofar wani gida a kusa da wani dattijon mutum bayarabe, daga dukkan alamu serious magana suke kuma basu san an dauki hoton ba. Haka nayi ta bin hotunan ina kalla, duk shi ne a ciki, wani shi kadai wani kuma shi da mutane. Na ajiye hoton hannuna kenan idanu na suka gane min wani kati, na dauka a hankali ina karantawa word by word.

*Join us in person or in prayer to celebrate the wedding matrimony of our children* :

*Ibrahim Adeniran Oluwaseun*
                      *And*
Latifat Olabesi Adebayo

Na duba date din naga about 3 weeks ago. Ido na kafa akan sunan sa kamar mai hopping mistake ne zai automatic correcting kansa, amma ina, it is real, it has happened. And there is nothing I can do about it.

Na ajiye card din na dauki sauran pictures din. Wedding pictures ne, picturing Ibrahim and Lati. She is exactly how I remember her, kawai dai ta yi kwalliyar amare ta rufe kurajen fuskarta. Wani hoto na dauka daga shi sai ita da cake a gabansu. Sun sha kwalliya. Ita ta saka farar wedding gown mai dogon hannu shi kuma ya saka wata sabuwar shadda dark brown ta sha aiki. Na kalli fuskokin su gaba daya suna dariya. Fuskarsa tana dauke da tsantsar farin ciki, sai naji na kasa daina kallon hoton.

Kofar dakin naji an banko an shigo da sauri. Ban dago kaina ba amma nasan Hafsat ce saboda kamshin turaren ta da naji. Ta karaso da sauri tana cewa "ina saqo na da akace an....... " bata qarasa maganar taba saboda abinda ta gani. Ta tsaya a bakin gadon tana kallon tarkacen da suke kai. A hankali tasa hannu ta dauki IV din sai naga ta yar da shi ta rufe bakinta da hannunta. Na kalli fuskarta naga kamar wadda idanuwanta zasu fado kasa saboda mamaki.

Bata cemin komai ba ta fara kallon hotunan da sauri sauri. Na ajiye hoton hannuna na mike na fara cire kayana. Har a lokacin ba zance ga abinda zuciyata take ji ba. Na daura towel zan shiga toilet naji Hafsat ta kira sunana a hankali "Moon am so sorry, da na san abinda za'a kawo min kenan da ban saka private investigator ya nemo shi ba. I thought in kika ji labarin halin da yake ciki zaki nutsu ki koma normal life din ki, kiyi karatun ki" bance mata komai ba nayi hanyar toilet, ta sake cewa "Moon please let's talk about this" na juyo da sauri nace mata "ba abinda kika yi min Hafsat, in fact I am so grateful naga wannan sakon. I just need to be alone for a while" daga haka na shige toilet. Shower na kunna na shiga ciki nayi zaman dirshen ruwan yana zuba a kaina. So ƙarya yayi min sanda yace min zai dawo kenan, dama bashi da niyyar dawowa. Shekara daya kawai. He got married to Lati. Amma ai cemin yayi baya son Lati, ko duk a cikin ƙarerayin daya shirya min ne. Har hawan jini na samu da yarintata saboda shi, nayi watsi da karatuna saboda tunaninsa amma dame zai saka min? He got married. Married for God's sake.

Zafin da nakeji a zuciya ta yayi yawan da hawaye yaki zuwa idanu na. Ruwa mai sanyi ne yake sauka a jiki na amma zafi nake ji kamar ana hura wuta a kirjina. What hurt me the most is the fact that he looks happy. He is happy ya auri Lati. Maybe idan aka ambaci suna na ma sai ya yi tunani kafin ya tuno ni. Maybe I am just one of the others. Kuka nake so inyi amma hawayen yaki zuwa. Why Ibrahim? Why do you choose me as one of your victims? Na tashi na kashe shower na goge jikina da towel na daura wani na fita. Hafsat tana nan a inda na barta, ta gama kallon hotunan tana karanta report din. Na shafa mai, na dauko wani wando skin tight 3 quater na saka, na dauko riga itama 3 quater, daga sama ta matse ni daga kasa ta bude na saka. Kananan kalba ce a kaina, na tattare su nayi packing dinsu a tsakiyar kaina suka zubo kan kafaduna. Na dauko turare na feshe jikina dashi. Ban kalli Hafsat ba ballantana pictures din da suke gabanta. Har na yi unlucking kofa na kama handle zan bude Hafsat ta yi min magana "what are you going to do?" Na tsaya amma ban juyo ba. Ta sake cewa "look, a cikin report din nan an nuna cewa takura masa akayi ya aure ta, babanta shine ya rike su shida sisters dinsa tun rasuwar babansu, kuma shine ya matsa masa sai da ya aure ta, in fact yana Lagos akayi daurin auren ma kawai kiransa akayi yazo akayi biki" na juyo ina kallonta kawai fuskata babu expression, na saki kofar na jingina a jikinta na rungume hannuna a kirjina, kamar yadda Ibrahim yake yi, a hankali nace "does that change the fact that he is married?" A hankali tace "no. I just thought it will make you feel better. Look ni ban damu da Ibrahim ba, in fact I don't even like him. Baki da lafiya already bana son wani abin ya kuma samunki a kansa. Please just read this for yourself" na juya na sake kama handle din kofar sannan na juyo da kaina na kalleta nace "I am a psychologist my dear sister, I don't read words written on some pages, I read people, and this man... " na dawo cikin dakin da sauri na dauki hoton Ibrahim da Lati suna dariya, na cigaba da cewa "this man here is happy, and that's all I need to know". Na juya na fice daga dakin.

Kitchen na shiga na tarar da cook tana ta aikin dinner, na dauki vegetables na fara yankawa sai ga Mommy ta shigo ta tsaya tana kallona saboda ni bamai son girki bace, sam bana shiga kitchen in ba dole ba. Ƙit na yanke hannuna da wuka, da sauri Mommy tazo zata rike hannuna na ja da baya na fice daga kitchen din, ina jin ta tana kirana na bude kofar main palour na fita hannuna yana jini. Har na dau hanyar gate sai na tuna kayan jikina yadda suke sai na dawo na koma cikin palour, ina jin Amina tana yi min magana itama na rabu da ita. Sam bana so ayi min magana. Extra dakin da yake part din mu na shiga, na shiga toilet na wanke ciwon hannuna, na daure shi da handkerchief. Har dare ina dakin ban fito ba kuma har lokacin hawaye bai zubo a idona ba. Nayi sallar magrib da isha, Hafsat ta kawo min abinci tace ta gayawa Mommy bana jin dadi, nace mata na gode. Na kwanta amma bacci ya gagari idona sai juyi kawai nake yi. Cikin dare naga ba bacci babu labarinsa, na tashi nayi alwala nazo na fara sallah. Ni kaina bansan raka'a nawa nayi a ranar ba, kuma duk sujjada sai na roki Allah ya chire min Ibrahim daga raina. Har aka yi sallar asuba, nayi sallah na zauna ina azkar anan bacci ya dauke ni.

Mommy ta shigo ta dubani taji jikina yayi zafi, nan ta kama fadan me yasa na kwanta ni kadai? Nan da nan aka kirawo Victoria, tana gwada jini na kuwa tace ya hau. Dama nasan haka zata kasance saboda yadda nake jin wani irin azababben ciwon kai. Mommy ta saka ni a gaba akan lallai sai na gaya mata menene matsala ta amma nayi shiru, fada take kamar zata ari baki. Ni dai na samu akayi min allurar bacci nayi kwanciyata.

Ranar wuni nayi a gida ban je school ba. Washe gari Saturday tun safe nace da Daddy ina son zuwa bakin ruwa (beach), ya barni saboda yana ganin fresh air zata taimaka min, amma yace mu tafi tare da Hafsat da Amina. Ban so haka ba saboda so nake in zauna inyi tunani. Muna zuwa bance musu qala ba na dau handbag dina nayi gaba, sai da na samu gurin da babu kowa sannan na zauna a kasa ina kallon ruwan.

When was the last time I had a serious conversation with myself? Me ya faru da ni ne? Ina wannan yarinyar 'yar makaranta who is loved by all? Na tuna da medal din da school din mu ta bani, to the most talented student the school has ever had. Ina dreams dina na zama likita in bude private hospital a Nigeria in ringa taimakawa marasa karfi wadanda ba zasu iya zuwa kasar waje ba? My life was so peaceful before kuma ina so ta koma kamar da.

Indai har ina so in koma kamar da i have to let go of Ibrahim. Tabbas ya samu guri a zuciyata yadda bazan taba iya goge shi ba, amma zan iya tura shi baya yadda bazan ke tuno shi ba. Tabbas wani barin na zuciyata is 100% sure cewa Ibrahim yana so na amma mai yasa yayi aure? Nasan maganar Hafsat zata iya zama gaskiya cewa takura masa akayi amma still ya kamata ace ya neme ni ya gayamin abinda ya faru, na bar masa sako a gida kuma nasan da yaje da Baba Habu ya kira ni ya gaya min. Tunda har bai neme ni ba yana nufin yayi accepting auren kenan and he looks happy in the wedding picture. Duk da ya taba gayamin cewa baya son Lati amma yanzu tana da chance din da zata juyo hankalinsa kanta a matsayinta na matarsa. Duk da bani da shekaru da yawa amma nasan maza suna da one weakness, Sex, cikina naji ya hargitsa wani amai ya taso min, sex, kusan wata guda kenan da auren, they might have already had it by now. Da sauri na tashi na fara kwarara amai, Allah ya soni babu kowa a gurin, sai da na gama amai na sannan hawaye ya zo idona, na zauna na saka kaina a tsakanin cinyoyi na nayi kukana mai isata sannan na tashi, naje bakin ruwa na wanke fuskata da bakina. Na dauko handbag dina na bude na fito da hotunan da takardun da aka kawo wa Hafsat, daya bayan daya na ringa jefasu cikin ruwan suna tafiya, ina kallansu suna tafiya a saman ruwa sannan suka fara nutsewa kasan ruwa. Na dauko waya ta na goge numbersa da na ke ta faman ajjiya, na shiga messages duk na goge messages dinsa da na kasa gogewa da, na saka hannu a handbag din na sake sauko letter dinsa, first letter din da ya fara rubutomin, na bude na sake karantawa sannan itama na jefa ta ruwa, abu na karshe shine CD din daya aiko min, na dauko ina kallon rubutunsa da yayi da permanent marker a jikin CD din, I LOVE YOU, a hankali nace "I love you too Ibrahim but I must let you go" na jefa cd din shi ma cikin ruwan.

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