broken dreams-a seaycee story

six

AN: WARNING: a long. emotional rollercoaster. chapter. hope u guys don't mind.

Sean

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Oh God. Holly had just said.....her concept of the time lost was shaky in some areas....she hadn't come to terms with some of the consequences....Kaycee. My heart broke. What could I possibly tell her that would make this ok?

"You're-you're not mad, right? You-you said it was ok.....when I told you," she cried, her voice raising to hysterics.

"Kaycee, I-" I started, but I couldn't finish. "I'm not mad, I couldn't be, I was 50% of that too, but Kaycee," I said, my heart breaking as I took her hand. She watched me innocently, and there was nothing I could do to make her more ready for the blow that was about to hit her. I couldn't debilitate her like this, just as she was recovering. Damnit. Holly told me to stay away from the accident.

But then again, I couldn't be a coward. Running from this would only hurt her more in the end. And me. And possibly us.

"The baby's gone, Kayc."

She shook her head. "I-I don't understand."

"I-in the crash," I faltered, my head in my hands. I took a deep breath. I had to be strong for her. "It-it was too much for the baby."

Pain flickered over her face as she became stricken with the realization. "Gone?" she whispered, the sheets clamming up in her hands. "That's not-" she trailed off as her hands drifted to her stomach. "That's not possible." she shook her head. "There must be some mistake."

My heart broke as I watched her wrestle with the conclusion. It was hell when I found out, but it was nothing compared to this. Holly swept in, sensing trouble in paradise. "Everything ok, guys?"

"My baby," Kaycee said slowly, lifting her gaze from the floor to meet Holly's eyes. "It-it's not gone, right? Sean's wrong? Sean's wrong," she said again, forcefully that time. I wasn't sure who she was trying to convince or ask, Holly or herself. Holly took Kaycee's hand. "Sean," she grimaced. "I think it's best if you give us some time. Maybe come back tomorrow?"

"I'll do that," I said, even though that was the opposite of what I wanted to do. If that's what Holly thought would help Kaycee, that's what I would do. And she was way better suited to take care of this whole....situation than I was. "Don't you think she should find out when I'm here?" I whispered, all of the emotions hitting me at once. She looked so vulnerable in that hospital bed, blinking in confusion as she rejected the truth, watching both of us nervously as we disputed over who would deliver the earth-shattering news to her. Holly shook her head. "I don't think so, Sean. Unless you really want to be here. I think she needs some alone time, before she gets too overwhelmed, and before Laura and Brad get here with her sister and brother. I think it'll best process then."

"O-ok," I said, still unsure. I took a deep breath and kissed Kaycee on the forehead, pulling her into a hug. "Holly's better at helping you out with this than I am, baby girl," I told her as she fixated her eyes on me intensely. "She's gonna help you sort some stuff out, alright?" Kaycee nodded. I wanted to protect her from everything bad, but I knew I couldn't, and I hated it. "I'll be back soon, ok? I'm coming back really, really, really soon. They just think you need some down time, ok?" My voice broke. I didn't want to leave her. I wasn't sure if I could. Holly put a hand on my shoulder. "It's ok, Sean. I think by tomorrow, we'll have everything cleared up, and she'll have adjusted a little bit, ok?" 

I shook my head and pulled Kaycee into one more big hug. "I love you."

"I love you too," she said. "Don't forget me."