broken dreams-a seaycee story

fourteen

Kaycee

Month 7

3:32 AM

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I felt a rustle in the sheets as Sean tried, for what felt like the millionth night in a row, to escape the bed and head downstairs to the couch to finish out the night. Half asleep, I rolled over and groggily sat up, flicking the light on but shielding my eyes as they abruptly adjusted. He froze, his black and grey-clad tall figure barely moving a muscle. "What are you doing?" I mumbled, staring up at him. His eyes were wide, looking like he was a little boy with his hand caught in the cookie jar. "You weren't supposed to wake up," he whined, his hair floppy from the deep sleep he was in, and his eyes puppy dog-ish. Sigh. 

"Sean," I said sternly. I love sleep, and he'd really been annoying these past couple of nights. I'd just let him go these few times, since I knew he had a lot on his mind, and I figured he was going down to dance or something, but since it had eerily become routine, I was really wondering. I'm a heavy sleeper, and I'm really good at falling back asleep, so I was always out instantly, but recently I'd been laying awake for a couple minutes after, straining to hear what he was doing, worrying. "What's up?"

"I'm just going downstairs so I don't mess up you and the baby," he said. "You need to sleep and I just can't."

"Is that what you've been doing these past couple weeks?" I moaned. "Seannnnnnnnn."

"I'm not sorry," he chided, throwing up his hands in defeat. "You need it and so does Abby."

"Abby?"

"Oh," he said, instantly running his hands through his hair, his face flushed. "That's what I've been calling her. In my head. For, like, Abigail."

"I like that," I said sleepily. Then I outstretched my arms and motioned him closer. "Come here, bub. I sleep better when you're next to me, you dork."

"If you're sure," he said, but he already had climbed back into bed and wrapped his arms around me. "I can't believe she's coming soon," he said against my hair. "Are you scared?"

Terrified, truthfully. "Yes," I told him, but I tilted my chin up to kiss him. "But I've got you now. And I know I can do it as long as you're with me."

"You're my light, Kayc," he murmured, already back asleep. I wriggled out of his grasp to where I was holding him now, his head resting on my chest, my hands running through his hair, my head protectively over top of his. "I got you," I kissed his head gently. "But I can't hold onto you unless you stay and let me."

I held him as he slept soundly, probably for the first time in a little while. Abby, I thought in my head. I tested it out on my tongue. Abby, I thought as I nodded off to sleep. Abigail Lew.

I stepped into the house. "I'm hoooooome," I sang. I'd only been gone a couple hours shopping, but people had been cranky since the Dodgers had lost the World Series and weren't exactly happy to spend the first Saturday since the game returning to their normal lives. I missed my boy and my little one like crazy, and I'd only been away from them for such a short time. "Mommy!" my daughter squealed, running from outside the home studio, leaping into my arms. "HEYYYYY!" I smiled, my face instantly brightening. All the negative energy I'd picked up from errands was washed away when I looked at her beaming face. Her hair was brown like mine, falling in little wisps from her loosely scrunched ponytails (props to Sean, he had done his best) but straight like Sean's. She had more of my facial structure and definitely resembled me, but her eyes were intensely dark like his, and they burned with curiosity, even though she was only 3.