broken dreams-a seaycee story

eighteen

AN: so i might be meeting kaycee in new york and i'm freakin out. i hope so i hope so i hope so i HOPE SO omg i'd fangal so hard i'd cry

also i'm just gonna load y'all up on cute chapters until it's time for another crisis. or time to kill someone off to *shake things up a bit*. WAIT HOLD ON SOMETHING JUST STRUCK ME- i didn't say that. wasn't me.

if you do have ideas, comment. bc i'm kinda stuck. so this might suck. my apologies in advance.

Sean

a month later

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Abby was crying again. I rolled over and Kaycee wasn't even close to stirring. Her hair was fanned out all over the pillow, her lashes were brushing her face, and her lips were perfectly pursed together in an innocent and soft pink smile.....god, she really was an angel. I kissed her on the top of her head and slowly got out of bed, moving quickly enough so that I could reach Abby before she caused too much of a scene but slow enough that I wouldn't wake up Kayc. I knew she needed her sleep. The doctors had told me she had fully recovered from giving birth, but I wasn't totally qconvinced. There was still some fatigue behind her eyes, some slowness in her movements, some exhaustion trailing at the back of her sentences. My poor baby.

Abby screamed reminding me that there was my other baby, and she was about to make a situation if I didn't get to her, pronto. I hurried into the nursery, my finger pressed to my lips like it made a difference. "Heyyyyy there, munch," I said, swooping her up and out of the crib. She was sporting a pink and white striped sock-footed onesie with a monkey face on a pocket, and my heart melted at the sight. We made her. She is Kaycee. She's me. She's us. She's 100% ours. My miracle baby. 

Abby stopped crying and started cooing, her little hands reaching up for me. "I got you, I got you," I soothed her, rocking her back and forth. "Mama's sleeping, alright? We're gonna let her sleep, ok?" I talked smoothly and slowly, as if in the moment of silence she would start crying again. "Mommy needs her sleep, Abbs," I repeated it again, so she would know it was important. "You're a piece of work missy, but I think we'll keep you anyways." She looked up at me with a goofy grin on her face. "Is Crabby Abby gone for the day? Good, because I would've had to break out the-" I let my voice drop in suspense. Abby sensed it. You could tell because her face froze for a second.

"THE TICKLE MONSTER!" I whispered fiercely, and started tickling her feet. Abby got out a squeal. I laughed. God, she looked like her mother. The little light brown peach fuzz on top of her head, the dimples when she wore that look, the look that had me wrapped around her finger from minute 1, the long eyelashes and long fingers but tiny hands....Jesus, I had been blessed with two Kaycees. The only way you could tell she was mine at all was her dark brown eyes, which contrasted sharply from Kaycee's golden-brown ones."You goof," I told her. She cooed back at me. "Mmhmm," I nodded. "That's my smart girl." 

She made me nervous. Kaycee made me nervous all the time, obviously, and with good reason. But I knew Kaycee could hold her own. At least until I got there to protect her. But Abby? Abby needed both of us all the time. What if I failed her? What if I let her down? 

I couldn't drive with her. 

No way in hell was I losing either one of them.

My hands started to shake. Abby watched me from her bouncy seat as she thumped up and down. The nerves that I had forced down in my stomach suddenly rose all at once. The coffee mug clattered to the floor and shattered. Abby looked at me for a moment, her face frozen in shock. Then it twisted into a scream.

A scream. 

Kaycee's scream.

You'll kill her, my brain taunts. You almost killed Kaycee.