broken dreams-a seaycee story

nine

AN: hi guys so i've put y'all through one hell of an emotional rollercoaster. i swear i'm gonna fix it. just bear with me till the end of this one. at least that's the game plan.

Sean

One week later, Kaycee has gotten over her minor case of pneumonia and has been cleared to come home

Sean's house

_______________________

"Okay, ready?" I asked. Her hands tugged at the blindfold eagerly. "Ready!"

"3, 2, 1...." I said, and I slipped it off and let her turn around. 

"Oh my-Sean," Kaycee squealed, her hand covering her mouth. "Is this it?"

"It is." This was better than I'd ever imagined it. Bringing her home to the house we'd picked out since we were kids, completing the reality we'd made when we were younger. Making it reality. Not a dream anymore. It was us. "This is our house!" Kaycee shrieked. "This is our house!"

I knew her happiness was going to be short-lived, as she was struggling deeply on the inside to come to terms with the fact that she might not be able to have kids ever again. I was devastated, trying to brave face it for her, and I'm sure what I was feeling was only half of what she was feeling. She was the carrier after all. 

She had felt Ellie in her, and she'd felt her absence just as heavily. 

I couldn't imagine it. Again and again, that girl and her strength amazed me.

I took her in, and she marveled at it. I couldn't help but feel a rush of temporary peace, happiness, that masked itself as permanent. With Laura and Brad's help, I'd taken the drawings and pictures she'd printed out when she was younger and kept in her scrapbook and did my best to transform the house into her dream home. With Kaycee in the hospital and stuff at Imma becoming stressful, the house became like a project to me, and I obsessed over it, cleaning it and perfecting it, for hopes of Holly one day picking up the phone and telling me she was ready to come home. I was going to make sure that she had not just any house to come home to, but her dream home. Something tangible that could show her how much I loved her.

"How did you get all of this?" she said in amazement as we made our way through the rooms. "This is-Sean, this is perfect."

"Is it your dream?" I asked, folding her into my arms.

She turned to face me, taking my chin in her hands. "More than I ever could have imagined." She kissed me as I lead her into our bedroom. "And this is our room," I said, presenting it to her with a grand flourish. I scooped her up into my arms and carried her, then tossed her on the bed. She giggled as I laid down next to her, taking in her delicate porcelain skin and her hair splayed out across the bed. "You're beautiful, Kaycee," I breathed out. "And I am the luckiest guy in the world that I get to be here with you."

"Thanks for never giving up on me," she said, reaching out to run one of her hands through my hair. It trickled down to caress my face, and she lingered there, holding my cheek for a second. "I love you."

"You never gave up on me," I told her, bringing her close. 

"That's not true," her voice shook. "Remember that one night, while you were in Japan?"

*******FLASHBACK********

"Hey," I said, my day instantly brightening as our phones synced and she appeared on my screen, replacing the FaceTime icon. "I missed you."

"I missed you too," she said, her voice flat, but yet behind it was a wave of emotion, ready to crash. I could feel it in the silence that hung between us. It was densely packed with unsaid words. "What's wrong?" I asked her, as she began to visibly crack before I even said anything. "Are you ok?"