broken dreams-a seaycee story

seventeen

Kaycee

five days later

2:01 AM

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A cry erupted out of nowhere from across the hall, undoubtedly coming from the nursery. I sprung awake, shaken out of the sleep I'd just settled back into, and Sean jumped beside me, rubbing sleep out of his eyes. We both blindly stumbled into her room and he flicked on the light, running his hands through his hair as he wrapped himself around the doorframe, waiting as backup to be called on if I needed him. I didn't think I would. I told him this every time. But he came anyway. It wasn't like he wasn't up, he argued. Couldn't disagree with him there.

"Hey Abbs," I sighed, lifting her out of her crib. Her big brown eyes beseeched me. Just like her father's. "You have Daddy's eyes, you know that right?" I grinned. "Can't ever be mad at you then." Unaware she'd robbed us of another hour of sleep, she burbled out some string of sounds, her cries subsiding as I held her tightly, gently rocking her back and forth. Sean came up from behind and buried his face in my hair. "Is she ok?" he asked sleepily. "I think so," I told him. "Just being an attention ham like her father." He opened his mouth in protest, but shut it indignantly. "What can I say?" he threw up his hands in protest, then wrapped them around me. "I love my Kaycee cuddles."

We sat down and Sean reached for his guitar that we kept next to her bed. "Here, let me have at it. She seems to like it when I sing." He started strumming faint chords, and his voice, although sleepy, still sounded clean, smooth, and comforting.

If the whole world was watching I'd still dance with you

Drive highways and byways to be there with you

Over and over the only truth

Everything comes back to you

She was quiet for a minute and we both looked at each other, exhaling in relief. "That was surprisingly easy," he said, gently setting it down. I started to put her back, but then Abby fussed, reaching her little fingers up to grab at my necklace. I slid the S charm down for her and she ran her fingers over it, her eyes widening. "Mmhmm," I nodded sleepily. "S for Sean. Good job, Abbs." Abby reached at it again, seemingly unsatisfied. Her fingers found the other side, and my heart rocketed to a halt. Ellie.

"There's an E there," I told her, sitting down in the rocking chair next to her crib and settling a blanket over my legs. Sean draped a blanket over my shoulders and whispered in my ear "I'll go make some tea," to which I thankfully kissed his cheek. "That's a pretty tough story, Abby Girl, but if you think you can handle it, we've got time." I looked at the clock. 2:24. Sigh. "You had a sister," I told her, swaying the chair forward and backward, instinctively pressing her close to my chest, as if I could protect her from everything bad. "I didn't know her at all, really." I took one of Abby's hands and brought it close to my heart. "But she, like you, was in my life for such a short period of time but she already meant everything to me. Just like you, you know that?" Her eyes held my own. It was scary how much they resembled her father's.

I was transported back in time.

*****FLASHBACK***** 

Fourth of July at the lakehouse. Sean and I had snuck out and away from the festivities. I was 13, my two braided ponytails dyed red and blue with KoolAid, my skin golden from being under the sun all day, my clothes slightly damp from my swimsuit under them, my striped flip-flops snicking over the wet wood ground. "Sean," I squealed. "I'm gonna fall!"

"No you're not," he laughed, being 14 and oh so much wiser. "Come on." He easily hoisted himself over the rock and sat perched there, looking down at me expectantly. I rolled my eyes and attempted to scale it, but slipped and shrieked. "Kayc!" Sean yelped, grabbing my hand before I could fall back. "I got you," he sighed, relieved. "Push off the bottom rock and I'll pull you up here."