broken dreams-a seaycee story

eleven

AN: hola guys, i'm back after a short winter break hiatus and throwing myself into reading all the amazing contest submissions!! not gonna go too in depth tho, so check my announcements for more life updates bc i'm boring and that's not why ur here so NOW for why you are here...ps: sorry i made you wait and i hope it's worth it. love ya always.

Sean

One month since Kaycee left

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"Hey," she said through the screen. I grinned mournfully. "How are you?"

"Settling in," she sighed. "Still doesn't feel like home."

"That's natural, I guess," I tried. She shook her head. "I don't want to be here, you know. Part of me won't ever forgive you."

"Kayc," I frowned. "He could've hurt you really, really, badly. You said it yourself-you wanted to get out of here. I don't blame you."

"Yeah," she whimpered softly. "But not without you."

"It's for the best," I smiled sadly. "It's gonna be over before you know it."

"Feels like forever right now, though," she said, rearranging pillows in her room. 

"Well then, let's not talk about it," I tried again. "How's the baby?"

"Same as it was yesterday," she grinned slightly. "Moving around a little bit, making me hungry-all the time-" she looked at her stomach, feigning annoyance, but the glee in her eyes said otherwise, "But good. Thankfully."

Tears in my eyes I was used to by now, since everything that had happened. But now, they were tears of joy. I called her everyday, and I always got emotional when we talked about the baby. It was slightly becoming real. We still had a little over seven months to go...but I waited five years for my one baby. Seven months was going to be easy. My hand covered my mouth and I shook my head in amazement. "I'm so excited to meet her." Her hand absentmindedly drifted over her stomach, then went up to fingering the heart on her necklace, tracing over the engraved E that we both knew was on the back, but no one else did. "I'm scared, Sean. What if we do something wrong? What if we're not good parents? What if we lose her-again?" her voice broke. 

This was another thing we did every day. "Hey hey hey," I said quickly. More than anything, I wished I could lift her head from her hands and kiss her, hold her, tell her it was going to be ok. But I couldn't. "We're not going to lose her. We fought to just bring her into our world, right? And we're going to do everything we can to make her world amazing. We're going to take her places, teach her things, important things-how to love someone, how to never give up, how to trust someone, how to get through everything, good or bad, everything we've learned with each other. How to fight for something you really want. We're going to spoil her, love her unconditionally, teach her how to find herself, encourage her to chase her passion, whatever it is, and teach her how to find her light, right? Since that's the most amazing and special thing you can do in life?"

She tried to speak, but couldn't. She sniffled. "Don't cry," I said, even though I was on the edge of not taking my own advice. "We're gonna be amazing. The way you are, the way we work together, we're a team, Kayc. My life isn't complete without you, you balance me out, you're everything I love about this world, you're what keeps me going, babe. There is no one I'd rather do life with than you. And I'm ready to bring that baby into our lives. Girl or boy," I chided, reminding her of the fact we really didn't know the gender yet. Deep down, I knew she ached for a girl, desperate to get the chance with Ellie she was ripped from.