Changes {Luke Hemmings fanfiction}

three

How long has it been?

I don't even know the answer myself.. 

I feel so tired, tired of everything, tired of being me.

I slowly opened my eyes revealing three worried sad faces. Alex and his parents. I got frightened so I sat up quickly and stared at them but that kind of failed because my eyes were so heavy and tired that I could barely keep focus on them without closing my eyes. 

They just kept staring at me, I could see on Alex that he had no idea what to say. I don't judge him I don't know what to say either. I look around the room I'm in, it's Alexander's room. I only then noticed the nurses standing in the side who had been waiting for me to awake. 

A blonde nurse came closer to me and gave a hint to Alex and his parents to move away a bit. "Hi sandy my name is Kathrine, how are you feeling?" She gave me a sympathetic smile. "How do you think I'm feeling?" I snapped at her. She looked offended at first but then she faked a smile and said "Okay that was a stupid question, I'm sorry" 

"Where is my mum?" I asked harshly. "It's not the best idea that you see her Sandy.. You have already been through enough finding her.." Kathrine said nervously. 

"I WANT TO SEE MY MUM" I shouted at her. Immediately all the nurses steps closer to me surrounding me. "I'm sorry to tell you this but that's not an option right now" Another nurse has the courage to say. 

"SINCE WHEN DID YOU DECIDE WHEN I CAN SEE MY MUM, HUH?" My anger boiled inside me I needed to do something to unleash it so I smashed a lamp against the wall in Alex's room. Glass went everywhere and I regretted it right when I saw everyone in the room's face, especially Alexander's. 

I looked at him with a sad face and he gave me a shocked look back. I did the only thing I know when something like this happens. I run away.

I ran as fast as I could out of the house away from the crime scene while tears kept falling down my cheeks. I have no where to go, I have no one. No one....

After a few hours of running and walking around I was tired so I went to the park. I sat down on a bench and thought about everything that had happened the last 24 hours but I couldn't cry. It was like I didn't have any tears left, like they were used up.

I took my phone up from my pocket to reveal 10 missed calls from Alex. I ignored them and got on my blog. I needed to put my feelings out to words so I could get a little control of my thoughts. 

"Everything is gonna be okay. At least that's what I keep on repeating to myself but the question is, is okay enough? Okay is just... well okay. Everything seems to go bad for me, everything. And I just can't put my finger on what I did to deserve this much pain. Will it ever stop?

What did my mum do to end like this? Why did my dad leave us? Sometimes I blame him for everything that has happened to me and my mum but the truth is that all of this happened for a reason. But I just really don't get that reason and I'm scared to find out what the reason is. I'm scared of the world and what it's capable of. What next awful thing will happen to me? I don't know how much more pain I can take anymore." 

*Posted* 

I felt a bit relieved when my post was written but my mind was still full up with too many thoughts, as always. 

It was getting darker and people was slowly going home. Happy families pretending to be perfect even though it's far from perfect. I went to sit on the grass when the tears came back. I then spotted a piece of broken glass next to me, should I?

I couldn't resist. I was in so much pain and I needed to get pain another place so it didn't hurt as much in my heart. I took the glass piece and held it over my wrist while the tears filled my eyes.

Right before the glass cut my wrist I hear someone say "Please don't" with a harsh but at the same time sad voice. 

A male voice.

A beautiful voice.

Luke's voice.

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Heeeeey!

Sorry for not posting this weekend but I didn't have my computer with me, I hope it's okay :)

Hope you liked this chapter!

I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE IT IF YOU VOTE IF YOU LIKED THIS CHAPTER, IT MAKES ME WANT TO WRITE MORE WHEN I KNOW SOMEONE'S ACTUALLY READING THIS, THANK YOU 

Tell me what you think of this chapter or if you have any questions in the comments.

Twitter @lukesadore