Who are you?

Pt8

Since waking up from a six month coma, your amnesia wasn't the only thing that frustrated you beyond belief. Not only did you start to live with the damning thought of not being able to remember someone who obviously loved you so much, you also had to learn how to do basic, normal human things again - such as walking and moving around by yourself. Seeing as you had been 'sleeping', your muscle mass and body weight had dropped significantly, and you felt like a baby learning how to walk and move for the very first time. Your mind knew what it wanted to do, but sometimes it just felt like your body wouldn't co-operate.
However, all hope was not lost as your frequent visitors were always there to offer you encouraging words and motivation - especially when you came back from your physiotherapy sessions. Your best friends from GOT7, (and the hospital nurses that all now seemed to make sure to wear makeup and have their hair sitting nicely for whenever they knew that the young men would be coming to see you); were the main driving force for you to dedicate your mind to want to get better. Even when at times when it felt like you weren't progressing, it was times like now when Mark, Jackson, Jinyoung, Youngjae, Yugyeom and BamBam were all sitting around your bed and talking with you, just like old times that it made everything seem like it was truly going to be okay.
"So, what did you guys get up to at the weekend?" you asked as Yugyeom sat a lovely bowl of tonkotsu ramen on your hospital table in front of you, wheeling it up closer to your body for easier access.
"It's pretty much just been rehearsing and practising the new dance routines...my legs are killing me though!" BamBam whined from the bottom of your bed as he rubbed the sides of his thighs with his hands.
"Yeah I have to admit, some of the new choreo makes my thighs feel like they're on fire. When you're all fully recovered, I'll teach you the new moves and you'll be able to see what we mean" Mark chucked in defeat as he too felt the burn that the other boys experienced. You laughed along with them however, listening to their usual wild banter - but noticing that today, Jackson seemed a little quieter and a little more sombre than usual.
"And what about you, Wang puppy? You're awful quiet today~" you reached out your hand to lightly pinch his cheek as he smiled faintly back into your face, returning the same gesture as he took both your cheeks in between his palms and squished them together, eliciting a delighted giggle from you in the process.
"Wang puppy has been his usual puppy self. Just a bit tired, that's all" he assured you, ruffling your hair lazily, being thankful to see your smile once again painted brightly on your lips as he let his eyes fall on Jinyoung - both of them recalling the conversation that they had earlier on that morning.
"Have you...contacted her yet?" Jinyoung had asked, in reference to this mysterious Mia that they had found on Jaebum's phone 2 weeks ago.
"I haven't had time to. We've been too busy with the group and it would have just been a distraction...how do you think I should do it? Should I just do the texting thing and pretend I'm Jaebum? Ask her to meet us somewhere?" Jackson whispered back to him as the both of them got up from Jinyoung's bed, sorting out their clothes for the day. Jinyoung knew that Jackson was absolutely hell-bent on meeting Mia and finding out all about what Jaebum had been up to behind your back - but Jinyoung had since found himself having second thoughts.
"Jackson..are you sure it's the right thing to do? Wouldn't it be better to just...talk it out with Jaebum first? Look, I understand how angry you are. (Y/N) means a lot to you, and she means a lot to me too but...don't you think this is all a bit much?" Jinyoung sat back down on the bed after zipping his jeans up, watching Jackson from the other side of the room as Jackson pulled on a clean shirt.
Jackson let out a heavy, disgruntled sigh as he looked to Jinyoung, a clear look of uncertainty apparent on his soft features. He couldn't deny that he too began to have second thoughts about meeting up with Mia - but they still didn't overpower the hurt and anger he felt when he thought about Jaebum physically and knowingly cheating on you. He knew that he had to do something. What that something was, he wasn't sure of.
"I've been thinking...what if I gave Jaebum one more chance to come clean? He..He's my brother after all. And although I hate him more than I can describe right now...I want to at least be able to turn around when this is all over and say that I've given him more than enough chances. What do you think?" Jackson sat down beside Jinyoung as they both began putting on their socks, keeping their voices low and unheard by everyone else in the dorm.
"I think - that's a much better idea than just storming into this battle unprepared. If...if Jaebum still doesn't man up and tell you the truth...then I'll support you in whatever decision you make. For (Y/N), right?"
Jinyoung smiled faintly at Jackson from the other side of your bed as you all listened to BamBam and Yugyeom continuing to talk about the new choreography - Yugyeom now giving you a live demonstration as BamBam explained the techniques in such a way that made all of you burst out laughing, the entire room being filled with warmth and glee; however, the happiness was not confined to that of the four walls of your room, for just outside - Jaebum was listening through the door. Hearing your laughter echo through his mind made him smile more genuinely than he had in such a long time. Being able to hear you comment back to the other boys, listening to and hanging off your every word and wanting to hear more of your voice and what you had to say; filled him with a type of relief that Jaebum didn't know existed in this world. He wished so badly that he was a part of it. He yearned to be let in to see the large smile he knew was currently on your face...but he knew that if he walked in to join the fun between you all, your smile would fade and the laughter would cease to exist.
"I'm going out to get some more coffee, anybody else want some?" Mark stood up, grabbing his wallet off your table as he looked around the room for a show of hands.
"I'll join you! I fancy some cafe latte - the lady down at the shop always puts cinnamon in mine!" Youngjae joined Mark as he walked over to him. Everyone else in the room shook their heads at the coffee request, as Mark nodded and opened the door to let him and Youngjae out into the hallway - being met by Jaebum who had since stood back upon hearing their intentions to leave the room.
"Oh, hyung...when did you get here?" Youngjae asked as Mark quickly closed the door behind him.
"Hey - I got here a few minutes ago" Jaebum smiled, knowing that he had been there longer than a few minutes, but not wanting to seem more pathetic to his younger member than he already felt like he was. Youngjae nodded at him awkwardly as Mark pursed his lips to the side - seeing Jaebum's swollen eyes, his dull, tired skin and the obvious fatigue and mental torture on his features from not being able to talk to you as much as the rest of them had been. "How is (Y/N)? How did she get on at her physiotherapy session? Is...is she eating enough?" Jaebum raised his eyebrows in a concerned fashion, desperate to know how you truly were.
Youngjae went to answer Jaebum, about to tell him that you were coming along in leaps and bounds - that you were doing really well, but before he could; Mark reached out his hand to Jaebum's shoulder, feeling sorrier for him than ever.
"JB...how about we ask (Y/N) if it's alright for you to come in? She...she's been going through the box of stuff you gave to us to bring in to her, and it's been a while since you last saw her. It can't hurt to ask, right?" Mark said in a low voice, seeing Jaebum's face light up like a Christmas tree at the thought of being in your company once again.
"I...do you think it would be okay? I don't want to..ruin the mood or anything" Jaebum's lip quivered as he looked right back into Marks eyes. Mark shook his head, smiling at him as he patted him once more on his shoulder.
"I'm sure she'd love to see you. Even though she can't fully remember you, something has to be there - right? I'll go ask her, gimmie a minute" Mark said quickly, telling Youngjae to go on without him and bring him back some coffee, before both boys went their separate ways; Youngjae in search of coffee, and Mark back into the room - leaving Jaebum standing in what felt like limbo, waiting to be judged as if he were waiting to be let in through the gates of heaven.
A few moments later, Mark poked his head back around the door, catching Jaebum's eyes as he smiled and nodded at him, opening the door wider to let him inside as Jaebum felt his heart begin to race in his chest - wondering if perhaps you had remembered even a fragment of the relationship you had shared with each other before. Jaebum walked through the doorway slowly, recalling the last time he had been in your hospital room when you had first woken up; when you had said the three words that haunted his dreams at night - "Who Are You?"
"Hi Jaebum" you waved to him slightly as Jaebum locked eyes with you - not being able to control his nervous boyish smile that made its way on to his face as he wiggled his fingers back at you, standing at staring at you for a little too long as Jackson and Jinyoung flinched at each other in his presence. Jackson felt similar to that of a lion protecting his wounded lioness from imminent danger - on edge and ready to pounce; but he knew that acting too soon would cause everything to blow up in his face, and he didn't want that kind of commotion to go down right in front of you.
"Take a seat, hyung" Jackson said as normally as he could - pointing to Youngjae's vacant chair at the far end of the room by the window. Jaebum swallowed; originally wanting to sit somewhat closer to you - but not wanting to cause a scene, it seemed like he didn't have much of a choice. Jaebum nodded gingerly, still smiling at you as he made his way over to the chair and sat himself down, trying his best not to creep you out too much with his stare on you as he attempted to avert his eyes for random periods of time to everyone else's faces. You watched him occasionally, the way he nervously fiddled with his fingers and obsessively folded his arms over and over again as the conversation continued in the room just as it had been before he entered. A part of you thought that having Jaebum in the same room would be tense and uncomfortable - but even though he didn't really participate that much in the conversation, you couldn't deny that you didn't feel awkward at all; like he was supposed to be there in the first place.
"Alright, we better get going" Jinyoung pouted into your face a little while later as the clock neared the reality of them having to go back to their routine schedule before 6:30pm.
"It's almost time for your therapy session too - I'll be back tomorrow anyway, okay? Text me before you go to sleep~" Jackson - completely ignoring Jaebum's existence - smiled at you as he held your hand in his, rubbing your arm with his other hand while you sadly nodded back at him, hating when they had to leave, thus leaving you all alone to your own devices. Jaebum couldn't help himself but become slightly coloured with a tint of green; envious at Jacksons skinship with you that Jaebum wanted - needed so desperately himself. "What does he think he's doing?" he thought, wondering why Jackson would do that so openly in front of him when he obviously knew the hurt that he was feeling inside.
"I'll do that~ Take care - all of you" you sighed, half smiling at the boys as they all began saying their goodbyes, filing out of the room one by one - Jaebum being the last one to begin walking out the door. You watched him as he trudged aimlessly behind them, waving to you a little before turning around to face the door - when suddenly, you spoke up.
"Jaebum..can you..can you come here for a second? Just - wait here a second" you stammered - not knowing how to properly address him after it being so long since your last encounter. Jaebum's eyes widened to their full capacity at the sound of his name falling from your lips as he felt his hair stand on the back of his neck, mixed with tiny butterflies that fluttered around in his stomach as Jackson and Jinyoung snapped their heads around to Jaebum after hearing you request him to stay.
Jaebum turned to face you, his mouth slightly agape as he tried to keep his breathing under control. "Are you sure it's okay? You..you don't want any of the other guys to stay for a second as well?" his voice was shaky as he felt his knees tremble - for what reason, he couldn't tell. Jackson and Jinyoung looked between each other warily as Jackson clenched his jaw slightly, wishing he could come up with some excuse not to leave you alone with Jaebum, but your request had caught him off guard - leaving him frozen on the spot.
"I just want to...talk to you alone for a second - if you have time that is. Do you mind?" you raised your eyebrows at him before Jaebum came rushing over to you, sitting down on the chair right beside your bed and eagerly staring into your face as the door to the room fell shut - leaving Jackson and Jinyoung waiting impatiently on the other side. You couldn't help but feel your heart swoon a little at Jaebum's emotions bleeding out in the form of hope and love apparent on his welcoming features, smiling to yourself as you took out something from underneath your pillow.
"This..this is us, right?" you presented one of the many pictures that Jaebum had included in the box for you.
"Yeah.." Jaebum gulped, feeling tiny beads of sweat forming on the back of his neck as he stared back and forth between your gaze and the picture, "That day - we went to the aquarium and...And I bought you a dolphin teddy bear that you really wanted.. I don't know if you seen it bu -"
"I seen it in the box~ Thank you so much for bringing all this, Jaebum" you finished his sentence for him, seeing the brightest smile form on his face to know that you had acknowledged every single item he had brought for you. You smiled back at him warmly for a few, silent yet comfortable seconds before Jaebum couldn't contain his feelings and pent up thoughts any longer - inevitably breaking the ice.
"I know...I know this must be really hard on you (Y/N). I wish so badly that I could...take all of the bad things that have happened to you and make them happen to me instead. But, just so you know...I'll wait forever for you to get your memory back. I don't care how long it takes...I'm never going to leave you. I'll never leave. I'll always be here, right here...waiting" Jaebum meant every single word that came out of his mouth as he laid his cards on the table and said what he had been wanting to say to you ever since you lost your memory. You felt like your chest was about to cave in when you saw a single tear trickle from one his beautiful, brown eyes - the whole way down his cheek before stopping under his jaw-line; Jaebum never taking his eyes off you even though he was blinded by his own tears.
"J-Jaebum..can I.." you trailed off, raising your hand to his face as Jaebum widened his eyes and stiffened his body - almost petrified on the spot; before your fingers came in contact with his face. Jaebum sat as still as a lamb, his breathing becoming more irregular while watching you ponder over each and every single one of his features, delicately touching the outline of his almond shaped eyes and dotting your fingers on his two little moles that he knew you loved most about him. You trailed your finger down what he recalled you always referring to as his 'heart-shaped' nose, before stopping at his lips that formed a perfect cupids bow - slightly chapped but still enticing nonetheless. Your mind felt slightly foggy - almost like you were walking down a long road, thick with early morning mist that was almost impossible to wade through as you cupped your hand on his cheek and stared right into his eyes. "Am I...am I remembering something? There's something...Jaebum..." you thought as you heard echoed memories resounding throughout your mind - not being able to pinpoint any in particular.
"(Y/N).." Jaebum whispered, gently raising his hand to cup it on yours; before the next thing you knew, you could hear a clear, high pitched white-noise in your ears, mixed with the sound of a car screeching as you pulled your hand away suddenly - all of it becoming too much for you to handle. "(Y/N), are you okay?! Do you need me to get someone?" Jaebum's voice raised itself in a panicked fashion as you pressed your fingertips to your temples, massaging them and shaking your head at him.
"No! No it's okay - I'm okay. I'm sorry I just...I thought I was remembering something but...it's gone" your voice dipped on your last word, knowing that it was probably Jaebum's touch that brought about the state of panic in you. "Why did I react that way? What's happening?" you screamed at yourself internally, hating yourself for causing the look of shock that was smacked across Jaebum's face as he looked at you with so much pity and fear.
Jaebum licked his lips slowly, breathing deeply as you did the same - effectively calming yourself down before looking up at him once more, trying to offer him some kind of reassurance that you were fine. "I don't know what that was but...I felt something, Jaebum. I really did - I felt something" you could see the hope on his face rise as Jaebum's breath caught itself right in his lungs - before you both heard a knock at the door with Jinyoung's voice coming from the other side.
"Jaebum - we really need to go now...the cars are waiting outside"
Jaebum turned back round to you, both of you with slightly sad smiles on your lips as Jaebum lowered his eyes to the floor. "I have to go but...maybe next time; we can do some more of...whatever this was? If it helps - but not too much okay? I don't want you to hurt yourself..." he murmured quietly, fiddling with his fingers as you nodded back at him.
"Agreed. I'd really like that, Jaebum" you replied, feeling like you were actually starting to get somewhere with this whole amnesia dilemma, and all it took was a slight touch of his hand.
"Oh! I almost forgot~" Jaebum clicked his tongue as he stood up, taking your iPod out of his jeans pocket that he cursed himself for stupidly forgetting to include in your box.
"My iPod!" you clasped your hands together as Jaebum sat it down for you on your hospital table, smiling and biting his bottom lip at your adorable, animated actions while you took it in your grasp as if you were a child opening presents on Christmas day.
"It's all charged, and I put a few more songs on there for you to listen to. You used to always love listening to music before you went to sleep so I figured that...it would be something you would like in here too" he added - Jinyoung knocking again from the hallway, letting Jaebum know that he was really pressing them all for time now.
"See you next time, right? And..just so you know, I put my number in a note in the iPod. If you ever want to message me, you can. Any time, okay?" Jaebum began backing up towards the door as you nodded at him in return, smiling a little sheepishly as you both began waving goodbye to each other.
"See you next time, Jaebum" you called out to him as Jaebum felt happiness hit him like a 10 tonne truck, opening the door that lead out to the hallway - taking one last look at the smile that he had put on your face, before closing the door behind him.
Jaebum began walking down the hallway towards the elevator, feeling like he had just grown an extra 3 foot, a very apparent blush habituating itself on his cheeks for the first time in too long. "Everything is gonna be okay - you just need to wait a little longer and everything will sort itself out...I love you (Y/N)" he said over and over again to himself as he stopped before the elevators, pressing the button to take him down.
"Everything alright?" Jaebum heard a voice from behind him as he turned around to see Jackson, leaning up against the stairwell door - obviously waiting for his return. Jaebum beamed gleefully at Jackson, not being able to keep a lid on his undeniable feelings of excitement. "Everything is...amazing! Jackson, she wants to see me again the next time and...oh my god I think we might be getting somewhere - finally!" Jaebum exclaimed as he grinned from ear to ear.
Jackson raised his eyebrows as his mouth formed his best fake smile he could muster. As they both stood waiting for the elevator to arrive, all Jackson wanted to do was to drive his fist so deep into Jaebum's face and send him flying into next year - as far away from you as possible; but knowing that he had already decided to try and give his leader one final chance to redeem himself.
"That's great hyung! I'm so happy to hear that - but actually, I needed to ask you something" Jackson pulled out his phone as Jaebum looked to him, waiting for him to continue. "You know, it's so weird - I tried calling you yesterday but it said your number was disconnected? And then...I saw you with a new phone this morning. Did something happen to your old phone? Perhaps...you were getting weird calls or messages?" Jackson couldn't have made himself more obvious if he had tried, but he intentionally did so; desperately wanting Jaebum to do the right thing.
Jaebum chuckled slightly as he shook his head, pulling out his own phone as the elevator doors opened, revealing an empty lift as they both took a step inside. "Yeah, some fans must have gotten my number somehow. I kept getting creepy texts and calls so I just decided to get a new phone. I wanted to upgrade for ages now anyway. I must have forgot to give you my new number, here it is~" Jaebum turned his screen around to Jackson, smiling at him and waiting for him to save his new number.
Jackson filled his lungs with air, feeling truly defeated as he took down Jaebum's number and saved it, locking his phone and putting it back into his pocket as the elevator came to the ground floor. "I practically gave you that on a silver platter, Jaebum. Now - we do things the hard way. You made your bed, now you're gonna lie in it." Jackson seethed in his mind as he walked behind his leader, clenching his fists in an uncontrollable rage.
As Jaebum and Jackson joined Jinyoung and Youngjae in one of the cars that had been waiting for them, Jackson looked to Jinyoung next to him in the back-seat as Jaebum sat down beside Youngjae in front of them - Jackson shaking his head in disdain as Jinyoung let his eyes fall to the floor. As the car took off towards their destination, Jinyoung knew that an entire volcano was about to erupt in the next few days; and the only person left to blame now, was Jaebum