Who are you?

Pt12

"So...are we all just going to pretend that Jackson and Jaebum weren't obviously about to kill each other?"
Upon leaving at Jinyoung's request, Mark, Youngjae, BamBam and Yugyeom found themselves dawdling around several blocks in circles, close to their dorms. Not only had all four of them just been rudely woken up from raised voices and banging on the walls, they knew something was up from the way Jaebum and Jackson were behaving. And to say that it began to worry them was a severe understatement.
"Did you guys hear them say anything?" Youngjae asked, looking down at his watch and yawning when he saw it was just after 4am. Being someone who frequently had trouble getting to sleep, he certainly didn't appreciate being woken up at such an hour.
"I could hear Jackson shouting something, but it was all muffled because I had my head between my pillows" Mark replied, scrunching his eyebrows together and knowing full well that this was totally out of character for Jackson to behave in this way - especially towards Jaebum.
"Well...me and BamBam heard...something" Yugyeom spoke up from behind in a quiet voice.
"Yeah...we heard (Y/N)'s name being mentioned right after we heard the huge bang against the wall...something like '(Y/N) almost did something' or something...man, I couldn't hear properly" BamBam sleepily rubbed his eyes with an exhausted look on his face as he pulled his coat closer to his body. At the mention of your name, all four boys stopped in their tracks - turning round to face each other in the middle of the side street and forming a type of ritualistic circle.
"(Y/N)? What has this mess got to do with her?" Youngjae asked.
No matter how hard they tried to come up with an answer, they were still just as clueless as they were when Jinyoung had ordered them to leave. "BamBam, you were the last one out of us four to see (Y/N), right?" Mark turned his head in BamBam's direction, putting him on the spot to try and shed some light on the situation. It had recently become extremely hard for them to visit you as much as they were able to before. But since you were so important to all of them - they always managed to visit you at least once a week; even if it was one or two of them taking it in turns to stop you from feeling so lonely and isolated. However, they didn't feel too awful about it, seeing as Jackson made it his mission to visit you every single evening. No matter how tired or exhausted he felt, Jackson never failed to stop by, even if it was just for 20 minutes.
"Yeah, but everything was normal. Like, I hung out with her a while and then Jaebum came to see her so I left to give them a little alone time" he paused, remembering Jinyoung and Jackson greeting him that evening when he came home. "And then I think Jackson went to see her at the same time? Like - nothing out of the ordinary at all. They all seemed to be in good moods.."
Mark folded his arms, sighing out of exhaustion and frustration. "I don't know...like I mean, you guys saw the way Jackson was standing right up against Jaebum with his back to the wall. Something's not right..."
"Yeah, I've never seen Jackson like that. I've seen him pissed off and annoyed before, sure...but..." Youngjae trailed off, averting his eyes to the ground.
"Exactly, and when has JB ever let anyone speak to him like that? I'm pretty sure that bang on the wall was Jaebum being thrown up against it. Did you guys see the way Jackson's right fist was all balled up?" BamBam spoke nervously as he could never imagine Jackson punching Jaebum, not in a million years.
"I'm pretty sure that Jackson hit something, or someone. And...Jinyoung and the wall both looked fine to me." Mark replied in a low voice while fiddling with the drawstrings of his hoodie.
"And another thing - JB never lifted his head either. If Jackson did punch him, it's almost like JB just...took it" Youngjae added to both of the boys statements as silence began to fill the space between them and their thoughts that were racing through their minds.
"Do you honestly think it has something to do with (Y/N)?" Yugyeom asked while thinking that you had already been through enough shit without all of this being added to the mix. Before Mark could open his mouth to respond, the group of boys all jumped at the sound of one of their phones ringing - the four of them each checking their phones to see whose it was.
"It's mine - it's Jinyoung" Mark pulled his phone out to see Jinyoung's ID written on the screen.
"Answer it and put it on loud-speaker" BamBam shuffled over beside Mark as the rest of the boys huddled in close under the street lamp beside them. Mark nodded, putting his finger to his lips to signal for them all to be quiet, before answering the phone and putting it on loud-speaker.
"Hello?" Mark's voice broke a little, not quite knowing what to say to Jinyoung on the other end.
"Hey, you guys can come back now. Make sure you lock the door when you come in - I'm heading to bed now so I'll see you guys in a few hours" Jinyoung attempted to keep the conversation short and sweet, leaving no gaps for questions to fill.
"Jinyoung wait...what's going on? The kids are worried...so am I to be honest. What the hell went on in there?" Mark decided to just be upfront, all four of them leaning in closer to hear what Jinyoung would say - if he would give them a valid explanation or not.
Jinyoung, who was still back at the dorms and getting into his bed, bit his lip as he quickly responded with what he had gone over in his head before calling. "Look, it was just a misunderstanding. Jackson and Jaebum have just been under a lot of pressure lately and they just got a little heated with each other. Everything is okay now - so don't worry about it too much. Brothers fight, remember?" Jinyoung let out a half-hearted chuckle when he heard no response from the other side.
"But...me and Yugyeom heard Jackson saying (Y/N)'s name...what's she got to do with it? Did something happen?" BamBam spoke up, totally forgetting that he wasn't supposed to be listening - saying what was on everyone else's mind. Jinyoung held his breath on the line, licking his lips and blinking quickly; being thankful that they couldn't see his face over the phone as it would have been a dead giveaway. Jinyoung took no pleasure in having to lie to them, but he knew that something like this would affect the whole group. He had decided that, in the best interests of GOT7, it would be better for the other members not to know the full truth of what was happening. Jinyoung also knew that you'd probably be mortified at everyone knowing your business. So out of respect for you and everyone else involved, he forced himself to come up with what he considered to be a lie for the greater good.
"Well, yeah...see, the thing is" Jinyoung stammered slightly, feeling nervous as he knew that he was probably on loud-speaker, "Jackson was just concerned about Jaebum not being back to our normal schedule, since (Y/N) is fully awake now. Honestly, the whole argument was about really small things that were just bubbling up between the both of them."
Mark raised his head to look to the other boys who were all donning similar faces - looks of disbelief and confusion. "Ahh...okay then. But, everything's good now though, right? Jackson and Jaebum are all okay now?" he asked, looking back down at the phone.
"Yeah don't worry, everything is all sorted. Jackson went out for a while to cool off and Jaebum went to (Y/N)'s apartment to stay there. You guys should come on home, we have to be up in a few hours" Jinyoung replied in a genuinely sleepy voice, praying that his explanation would give no cause for any further curiosity. After saying goodbye to Jinyoung, Mark hung up the phone before placing it back in his pocket, each boy looking at the other as all of them began thinking the same thing.
"So, is anyone buying that pack of lies?" BamBam chuckled a little sarcastically while they all continued to huddle close together for warmth under the streetlight.
"It must be something serious then. Why would hyung lie to us if it wasn't?" Yugyeom scratched his head as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other.
As Youngjae, BamBam and Yugyeom continued talking amongst themselves, Mark - as usual, stayed very quiet as he gauged the situation carefully. "Whatever this is, we're not going to be told unless we need to know...obviously..." he thought to himself, before placing one hand on BamBam's shoulder and the other on Youngjae's.
"Look, I don't know what's going on or if that really was the truth. But it looks like we're not going to be finding out any time soon. If Jinyoung is telling us a different version of events, it's obviously for a reason. He's not the type of person to lie so easily" his three other members all nodded at his words, knowing that he was exactly right.
"Do you think we could ask Jackson or JB? Or (Y/N)?" Youngjae asked as they all began walking back towards the dorms.
"No. Just - don't say anything. If any of them wanna talk to us about it, they'll make that decision when the time comes" Mark bit his bottom lip gently, "Until then, just continue as normal. We don't wanna make things worse." And with that, not a single word was uttered on the way back to the dorm, but it didn't stop all of them from analysing the whole situation inside their head. They knew that if Jackson was acting in such a radical way towards Jaebum, that it was obviously something big - but they also knew that if they were to push things too far, it wouldn't just ruin their friendships; it could potentially ruin GOT7 as a whole.
Jackson felt like his lungs were collapsing inside of him as you just told him that you 'remembered everything.' He had been so caught up on walking in and having to be the person to break your heart by telling you what happened, that you completely took him by surprise - leaving him at a loss for words.
"Well...not everything, there's still some parts that are a bit foggy, but Jackson! I remember him!" you bounced up and down excitedly with your knees on the bed while holding on to his arms, smiling brighter than you had done so ever since you woke up. Jackson felt like the world was passing by him as he got caught in a daze, watching you shove pictures of you and Jaebum in his face and not really processing anything of what you were saying to him.
"I couldn't believe it Jackson. I was just sitting listening to a playlist that Jaebum made on my iPod...and one of the songs he wrote for me just made everything come flooding back at once" you continued to smile, turning back to him before noticing that something was extremely off. On a scale of 1-10, Jackson's energy and enthusiasm levels were usually a 12 when he came to see you. But this morning, it felt like he was sitting on flat-line 0.
"...Jackson? Are you even listening to me?" you squinted your eyes slightly at him. You had expected him to be completely overjoyed at the fact you'd managed to spontaneously gather most of your memories and put them back into place. But if you didn't know better, it felt like Jackson was physically beside you; and his mind was somewhere else entirely.
Jackson mentally shook himself upon seeing your pitiful expression - before throwing his arms around you and knowing that he had to be quick with his actions. "I'm so happy for you (Y/N), really - that's amazing.." he held on to you for a second longer. But you knew Jackson better than he knew himself more often than not. Something about the way he held you was different. It felt desperate, and it scared you.
"So you remember almost everything?" Jackson continued as he leaned out of your embrace and pulled a chair up to the side of your bed. You blinked at him several times, thinking to yourself "Maybe I'm just reading him wrong because of being so excited?" you tried to rationalise your thoughts as best you could. But, seeing as you had literally just remembered 2 years of your life that you thought didn't exist; common sense wasn't something that filled you in that moment.
You nodded quickly, "Yup! From the day and hour we met. I can't tell you how freaky it is to just have a whole chapter of your life added into your memories...but it's like, now that it's there? It's like it never left" you bit your lip through your grin as Jackson attempted to pull a forced smile back at you. He knew the reason why you were so happy. He knew that your head was filled with the beautiful, loving and tender moments you shared with Jaebum. Ultimately, it made his heart and his head hurt even more than it already did.
"What parts...can't you remember?" Jackson tried to act as naturally as possible before making any further decisions about what he was about to tell you. You leaned back against your pillows, feeling Jackson take your hand in his as he began to rub his other hand up and down your arm; something he frequently did as an action of pure endearment that you loved so much about him.
"See...that's the thing. I remember feeling something, odd? Like, in the months before my accident - I remember there being a little distance between me and Jaebum. But I can't remember exactly what that distance was or why I felt it" you paused briefly, while Jackson knew exactly what that distance was. And her name was Mia.
"And no matter how hard I try, I can't remember what happened on the day of my accident. When I think back, all I remember is a really dark street, feeling kind of upset and - the car lights and screeching. The next thing I knew, I heard you speaking to me...and then I woke up.." you trailed off, being incredibly frustrated at yourself for not being able to fully remember the important moments leading up to your accident. When you truly assessed yourself during your many therapy sessions to aid you in your recovery, you were often asked if running out in the middle of the road was something you would do - or had been prone to doing. You knew that it was completely unlike you in the most polar opposite way possible. So, it left you with the damning question of - why?
As Jackson continued to sit and look into your face, listening to you talk about how you can't wait to tell Jaebum but still being frustrated with yourself, he found himself stuck between the devil and the deep blue sea. He knew that he could single-handedly bring this entire thing crashing down around you. He knew that all he would have to do is open his mouth and tell you the exact reason why you couldn't remember the day of your accident. Again, he found himself repeating Mia's words - that he needed to tell you. That if he didn't tell you, he's no better than Jaebum. "I...I don't want to hurt her. I don't want to be the one who destroys her happiness right now but...what choice do I have?" he lamented to himself. The whole time, Jackson never noticed his grip around your hand becoming tighter - rubbing your skin with his other hand so hard that you were sure you could smell burning from the amount of friction he was causing.
"Jackson...what's wrong? You...something's not right and you're not telling me.." you slumped your shoulders down, putting your hand on top of his to get him to desist. Jackson's heart thumped heavier than ever before. He could feel his stomach in his throat, he felt like the temperature in the room had just been turned up to the maximum - but he knew he had to do the right thing, even if it meant hurting the person who he loved more than anything else in the world.
"(Y/N)..I think I might be able to help you understand why you were - "
Jackson stopped speaking upon feeling his phone vibrate in his pocket. You stared at him, waiting for him to continue as he pulled his phone out to look at whatever popped up in his notifications - seeing him read whatever he was reading so intensely while his jaw seemed to get tighter - before it relaxed.