Solitude

Sixteen

"I think I should get a job."

Cece stares at me like I just told her the earth is flat and body snatchers are real. I stare at her through the mirror as I apply some mascara. The thought has been in my head for a while and now that I feel better and can communicate again, I think I should.

My therapist thinks it's a good idea. Something about stability and responsibility... Or was it independence? I can't remember.

My phone vibrates on the vanity table and Cece turns her attention to it, but I don't. I don't have to.

"Has your dad suddenly cut off your allowance?" She raises a brow, then continues searching for the perfect shoe to match her short flowery romper.

"No!" I scoff. I lean forward and examine my right eye. Satisfied with the result, I move to apply the mascara on the lashes of my left eye. "I'm thinking of asking him to get me a car."

"You hate driving," she reminds me. She picks up a brown sandal, examines it, then sets it down. "Also, it's bad for the environment. I'm thinking of parking mine and buying a bicycle."

"You love comfort and air conditioner."

"I love earth more. Praise says we can get matching bicycles. You can buy one too and we can ride to school together. Or we can take the bus like losers." She picks up a pink slipper, scrunches her face in disgust and drops it back on the rack.

"Yeah! Save the earth. That's fine. I still want a job, I think." My phone vibrates again. Cece turns to look at it, a small frown etched on her face. I know she's dying to ask, but one look at me and she decides not to.

"Why?"

"We're growing, Cece. I'm grateful our parents can afford to spoil us rotten, but won't it be nice to buy nice things without asking them?"

"Hmm." She hums. "I get nice things from companies wanting promotion. Mostly makeup and skin care stuff Mason calls mediocre. But now that I have even more followers - thanks to him - I may get bigger companies reaching out."

"Okay, you got something. I don't."

"What do you want to buy?"

"I don't know?" I gesture widely. By now, I've dropped the mascara and I'm satisfied with my face. "Lots of chocolates. Maybe I could start painting? A laptop -"

"Mr. R is buying you a new laptop for your birthday. Don't tell him I told you."

I rub my temples in exasperation. I don't think Cece is really hearing what I'm saying. I'm about to explain more, but she surprises me by speaking up.

"You should make a video with me. Show off your art. People love to pay to have their faces drawn. People are vain like that. Oh!" She snaps her fingers as she turns to face my reflection. She seems to have settled on the brown sandals she initially picked. "We could go live and you'll draw me. People love some real time sh- who the hell has been texting you nonstop?"

She turns to my vibrating phone again and I sigh as I reach it for and put it on silence.

I still haven't told her about what happened between me and Mason yesterday. I know I should. She's my best friend and we tell each other everything, but it's more complicated because Mason is also my friend. And so is Jonathan. It's not that I don't trust her to keep this to herself. I just don't think it's fair to ask.

"It's no one. Do you really think that would work? People paying me to draw them?"

"Duh! You're amazing. But you'll need better pencils. Those professional shit." She's grinning widely now. "Get Mason to do the same thing. He can reach more people than I can and I'm sure his people are more self-absorbed than I am."