Psycho (Under Editing)

Chapter Twenty-Six ♪ August First (part2)✔

I took a deep breath. Surprisingly my heart was calm. The war inside my head had finally paused. I wanted to do this for so long. I looked down and my hastily tied kicks, how they toed the edge of the welcome mat, I took a deep breath.

The nights air turned to pleasant ice against my face, my buzzed feeling slowly sobered up as the cold air mixed with my warm clouds of breath. I never had the courage to do what I was going to do, alone that is. But I needed to run off some steam. And I was off

I looked up. The black sky wrapped over me like a thick blanket. The street lights glittered in the sleeping town. Each twinkling in it's darkness.

I had no idea how far I'd run, I just knew that there was now a rough burn in my chest as I gasped for air. Gabby was silent, I was half expecting her to lash out at me for how weak I was and that I was so fat.

My heart began to painfully thud against my chest as I turned the corner, my short hair bounced around my shoulders. I looked down at my watch to check the time before I was roughly bumped into.

My body was thrown into the asphalt, with a skid my skin scraped off as I groaned in pain. I looked up to see the figure dust himself before he began to run off, a blue hood covering his face.

"Stop." I shouted against my better judgment as I limped up. "How can you just bump into someone and just run off?" I asked angrily, handling all this stress these days is getting to my head. I closed my eyes, silently praying and asking for my sanity back as I approached the person.

His back muscles clenched with each breath taken as he waited for me to get to him, not even bothering to turn around. "Did you not hear me?" I reached for his shoulder.

"Oh but I did my sweet. And I know that you have always loved the pain." the gruff voice answered.

"What?" I whispered in shock, clutching my fingers into a fist. And he turned, the crooked dark smile on his face dug a grave below me as I dropped to my knees in fear. "What are you doing here? How did you get here?"

"Oh don't worry my sweet. I'm just glad I finally have you back." He chuckled, taking slow steps towards me, and no matter how hard I tried to shift away my body wasn't under my control. I dropped my blurry gaze as his shadow fell over my face.

Then came the pain. It felt like bones cracking, like my lungs were crushing into each other as the taste of blood invaded my mouth when all he did was caress my face. And there I was, back in that hotel room, back with him, with Jake, tied up, shaking with fear.

I woke, not a peep came from my mouth as I tried to control my shaking, staring at the ceiling in disbelief. Sadness and fear flickered awake in my chest. I wished so hard that I hadn't dreamt what I did, that the world inside my head didn't have any reign over me.

I rolled over in bed, my head resting on it's side as I stared out the window, digging my nails into my palm, forcing the panic attack to fade away as I felt my tears wet my pillow.

My only distraction was that it was going to be sunrise soon ... the darkness wasn't going to last long, the only thought that eased the ache in my head.

I blinked away my silent tears and my body shook with it's last few tremors. The sun peaked out from beneath the clouds, a yellow pinky glow spreading across the sky.

I smiled to myself, I finally got a full breath as the suns rays greeted me with a kiss against my cheeks. I stared out the window for a few more minutes before I turned to make sure Jess was still asleep. And he was.

I stared at his face for a while longer. Maybe all I ever wanted was someone to stop me from loosing it. Someone who'd make me regret the choice of letting my past haunt me so bad. Someone who would make living easy.

But in my head, I knew I wasn't worth it. I didn't want the love he was giving me because I knew I'd feed of it and let my guard down before realizing what I was doing, before realizing that I was dragging them into the darkness with me.

Before the guilt got to my head I hopped out of bed to freshen up, knowing I had to take my medication. I walked out the washroom as I held my head. "Good morning my little muffin." Jess tackled me into a hug.

He picked me off the ground and spun me, making my feel even more dizzy, but he didn't have to know that I was sick so I just laughed, smacking his shoulder lightly.

"Put me down silly." he grinned and did as I said, going to kiss my forehead. As soon as his lips touched my skin he pulled away with a frown.

"You have a fever. Are you feeling okay?" I shrugged him off urgently.

"Of course I'm okay." I smiled, slowly inching for the door.

"But your head is so hot." he said looking down at my backing away feet before looking back up at me with amusement.

"I'm fine Jess." I turned and ran, I rushed out to the kitchen, reaching for the medicine cabinet as I heard Jess enter the bathroom.

I pulled it open, reaching in for the pills when I found a little card sitting against the back of the cupboard. I looked down at it, it was a pale pink card with a black heart on it. I smiled, knowing that it was probably Jess who put it there, he knew I hated taking my pills. It was probably his way of making them less intolerable.

I was about to open it when Jess walked in. "What do you have there, is it for me?" he joked, peering over my shoulder.

"So funny, I know you put this here. You didn't have to, you know?" I smiled, turning to kiss him, but he stopped me.

"I didn't put them there muffin." and that was all it took to wipe my smile off from my face.

"Don't lie to me." I warned, feeling my hands begin to tremble. But all he did was give me an earnest face before we both looked back down at the suddenly cunning card. I gently pulled it open, a soft piano tune played, it tickled my goosebumps to life.

"What does it say?" Jess asked, but I'd suddenly forgot how to read.

"You read it." I shoved it in his hands as I began to take deep breaths, hoping to slow my heart rate.

"With one look, I knew that you were mine." Jess read, his fist tightened against the card, crushing it's edges. "Hope to see you soon my sweet." and that was what it took for me to loose my balance as I dropped to the ground.

"Babe!" Jess called out, shaking my body, but my vision kept fading in and out as I gasped for air.