Both of their eyes are closed

part 10

You spend a few more hours in the hospital, but one 3:00a.m. comes around, you're not sure if you can keep your eyes open any longer. Though it is summer, the air outside is cool. You feel a jacket being played across your shoulder and turn to see Michael standing by you.

"Thank you," you say, but you barely have enough energy to form the words, so it comes out softly and mumbled. In response he simply smiles at you and lays his arm across your shoulders.

"Luke is going to be so happy about the baby," Michael says.

"You think so?"

"I know so."

"How's that?" You of course have had your doubts. Luke might be mad or disappointed, or just get scared and leave, but deep down you know he'd never do that.

"He's always talking about you. About every thing he loves about you, and he can go on and on and on," Michael says with a chuckle. "But he also talk about how one day he's going to marry you, one day he's going to buy you your dream house, one day you'll be parents, one day you'll be grandparents, one day you'll be sitting in a retirement home together. He has all of these 'one day' scenarios in his head. He'll be ecstatic that one of his one days is happening right now."

You smile and happy tears threaten to spill from you eyes. He's always planned on this happening, on us being a family, it's just happening a little earlier than he expected.

But the rest of his one days might night happen, the darker side of you adds. The side of you that has of late been growing a little bit bigger than the lighter happier side to your mind.

But you have to fight it. Like the boys said, if.Luke doesn't make it you have to give all of your attention to your child, no matter how hard it might be.

Michael Phelps you into the back seat of the car. Usually you would sit in the passenger seat but it just feels safer back here.

The boys find a nice hotel to stay at that isn't too far from the hospital. None of you are sure how long you'll be staying there, or how long Luke will be in the hospital, so Ashton checks you all in for one week, if Luke's still there then we'll add on a week.

The boys won't let you do anything now that your pregnant. You're not even allowed to take your small bag upstairs. The boys load all of the bags onto the bag cart and you pile onto the elevator.

It finally stops two floors down from the top floor, and Ashton leads the way to the room. When he opens the door the first thing that catches your eye is the beautiful view of the city. While the boys choose beds and get settled in you walk out to the balcony and just let your mind wander.

The people and cars below you look so small. Like every single one of them is almost as important to the world and an individual ant. It's like every problem that they could have doesn't even matter to the rest of us.

You feel small too. If Luke dies your world will shatter, but the rest of the world won't. Sure there will be thousands of fans that are heartbroken but after a while they will move on. They will still have someone to love. They will be able to have a family and a house and grow old with that person, while you won't.

You can see the hospital a few streets down. You imagine Luke waking up. You imagine his body free of any bruises and cuts. You imagine his bones healed. You imagine him sitting in a chair, grinning like a fool, as he holds your newborn baby.

And then you imagine the heart monitor going off. You imagine doctors surrounding him. You imagine those doctors getting quiet and turning off the monitor, unplugging everything that had kept him alive.

You imagine getting that heartbreaking phone call and-

Your thoughts are interrupted by your phone ringing. You heart sinks to you stomach and you look at the screen.