You stare at Luke for who knows how long. Maybe an hour, maybe ten minutes. But in this room, behind this curtain, it feels like there is no time.
"Hey," you whisper. For just a split second, you had expected a response. "Did you hear that? The doctor said that you're doing better."
When you talk to Luke you tend to pause in between each sentence. You're not sure if it's because you're waiting for him to respond, or just making sure he hears you.
"I want you to keep doing better. If you get well enough they can move you to a different room and you'll get to see Michael and Ashton and Calum."
You look at him for another timeless while.
"They really miss you. I mean I know it's only been three days but, I guess since they're used to seeing you every single day it's..." you choke up a bit. "It's really hard for them.
"So I want you to stay alive. I want to to keep going, and keep getting better. You have three boys that love you. You have me, ill always love you." Your pregnancy hormones take over and tears stream uncontrollably down your face.
"And you're going to be a daddy. You have to wake up Luke. Our child needs you." You lightly squeeze his hand.
If your life were a movie, perhaps he would squeeze back. Then he would open his eyes and you could live happily ever after.
But the world isn't perfect. Things don't always work out for everyone. In fact if the world really was perfect, you would be sitting on the couch at the apartment. With the boys messing around and tackling each other. Luke would be with you, always touching and kissing your stomach. You would be discussing names and buying things for the child.
After a while of visiting Luke, you get hungry.
"I'm going to go get dinner," you say to him, then stand and exit the I.C.U. and make your way back to the waiting room.
When you pass the third floor desk the nurse smiles at you, and you smile back. When you enter the waiting room the boys are in the same spot that you all were yesterday. You look around the room and you see the young blonde boy and the older boy, but the man that was with them isn't anymore.
You see the young couple sitting silently with each other.
The old woman from yesterday isn't there, and you can only imagine that the unthinkable has happened. But that's how you would want Luke to die. Both of you are old and have had a good long lifetime together.
He can't go this way. You haven't had enough time. He hasn't had enough time.
You see a new person in the room too. A woman, about in her twenties sits there alone, resting her hand on her swollen belly.
YOU ARE READING
Both of their eyes are closed
FanfictionThere was a piece of him living within me. A baby that I just wish I wouldn't have been too stubborn to tell him about. What if it's too late? What if he never knows?