Both of their eyes are closed

part 22

I had a dream that night.

Well, a nightmare actually.

"Hope......Hope!.....HOPE!" I feel Calum shake my shoulders as I snap into consciousness. It takes my brain only a few seconds to register the awful nightmare that I just experienced, and I begin to sob, and by sob, I mean full on crying and choking and sounding like a five year old having a fit because their mother wouldn't by them the cereal that they wanted.

"Oh my god are you okay?" he asks. Even though it's dark, I can see the fear and worry in his eyes. He's hovering over me so closely that he might as well be on top of me, but the only contact we make is his hand on my shoulder.

I sit up slowly, shifting back and fourth between shocked silence and horrified sobbing. He wraps his arms around me and I cry silently now into his firm shoulder.

After a while I calm down and my mind begins to accept the fact that it was just a dream, nothing but a dream.

"Yeah, I'm okay," I answer, even though his question has been hanging in the air for so long that it had mostly dissolved.

"It was just a dream," he whispers softly as we both slide back down underneath the blankets. I glance at the clock and see that it is only 7:00a.m.

I try to fight sleep, in fear of that awful dream proceeding, but I am so exhausted that I give up after only a few minutes and drift instantly off to sleep.

What feels like only a second later, my eyes open, and light shines through a slit in the curtain. Slowly and carefully I turn myself around that face Calum. I am so grateful to have a best friend like him in a time like this. I'm so glad to be friends with all of the boys, I don't know what I would do without them.

Each and every one of them have given so much light to my otherwise rather dim life, and if I could find a proper way to thank them, I most definitely would.

I decide to lay here until Calum wakes up, which could be any time between right now....and two hours from now. It must be at least eleven. I don't hear any noise coming from the common area, Mikey and Ashton are probably only staying in their room because Sarah has made a habit of sleeping as late as she possibly can. She calls it beauty sleep, I call it a waste of time that could most definitely be spent doing something productive, or at all.

Only about thirty minutes goes by before Calum stirs and stretches his long arms up into the air. His arms, which have held me together when my whole world is lying in a hospital bed, falling apart.

Without words, he smiles at me and we both climb slowly out of bed. Without bothering to get dressed I walk out and see that Sarah, as expected, is still sleeping.

I hate coffee, so, so much. But I make a cup anyways, and Calum exits the room, showered and dressed.

...

The part of the hospital that I have been in have become very familiar to me. If there's anything even the slightest bit different I always know. Today, I notice a new painting in one of the hallways. It is of a young girl, maybe four, with long wet brown hair, standing in a puddle. It's raining and her head is tilted down, looking at the water splashing around her chubby little legs.

It reminds me of how when I was younger I used to grab my brother and sister and race them down the street to a spot where the water collected into a deep puddle that we would splash around in every time it rained.

My brother, Alexander, is living in Wyoming with his girlfriend. He's an excellent football player and has been in the marines for three years. My sister called Marie is living in Michigan, going through college. I haven't seen either one of them in a while.

I reach for my phone, find Alex's number, and call him.

"Hello?"

"Hi Alex," I say.

"Hope! How are you?"

"I could be better," I answer honestly.

"How's he doing?"

"Well, he's not awake, but he's stable. The doctor says that there really isn't any reason why he'd still be asleep."

"Yeah? Well I'm sure everything will be alright soon," he says with his deep voice. I remember the way his voice used to sound, all high pitched, whenever he was around girls he would deepen it to sound cooler.

"Well what about you? How have you been?"

"I've been great. I'll be finishing up with the military later this year and I'm actually thinking about proposing to Michelle shortly after that." I can here the smile in his voice when he speaks.

"Oh my god! Alex that's amazing! My baby brother? Proposing?" this is the kind of good news I needed to lift my spirits.

He chuckles, "Yeah I guess so. Hey, when is that baby of yours due?"

"Month and three weeks!" I say proudly.

"Wow, that soon? That's amazing. I'm so incredibly happy for you, and you baby."

"Babies," I correct him.

"Hmm?"

"Babies, I'm having twins!" I try to stay family quiet but I just want to yell or laugh or steel or something. I'm am ecstatic to be talking to my brother finally.

"Hope! Two? That's awesome! Wow."

"Yep, one boy, and one girl." Out of the corner of my eye I see Mikey walking down the hall. "I'm going to have to let you go. I'll call you tomorrow?"

"Sounds great. Bye dork!" he exclaims loudly before hanging up. There's the brother I know and love.

The rest of my day goes rather smoothly. My emotions stayed, for the most part, fairly stable thanks to my talk with Alex. Luke looks healthy now, no bruises or broken bones. Not a scratch. It now looks as if he really were just asleep. Like he went to sleep only hours ago and I could lightly caress his face and kiss his forehead and wake him up whenever I wanted to.

The hospital room is dim, the sun setting and the building next to the hospital blocking the little bit of evening light there is. I don't want to turn on the lights because they are much too bright and I don't need them anyway.

I decide to call it a day and exit the room, meeting the boys out in the hallway. I don't know what Sarah did to occupy herself all day. I offered for her to come, but I knew she wouldn't want to. It's a bit boring and depressing here.

The outside air is crisp and cool. I struggle getting into the car with my swollen belly. There have been rumors going around about Luke and I. Some are completely stupid and 100% untrue. But others nearly hit the nail on the head.

They suspect pregnancy. They suspect that I'm hiding. Some say that I'm the one keeping Luke locked away. That I'm not letting him go out and interact with the fans.

I try not to let myself worry too much. It'll all be cleared up when Luke wakes up, I tell myself.

When we return to the room Sarah is already passed out on the couch. It's only ten, and I know that she never goes to sleep at this time. Whatever she was doing all day must have been pretty draining for her to fall asleep at a decent hour.

Luke's shirt doesn't fit over my stomach anymore, so Calum thought of the idea of putting it on my pillow as a pillowcase. I throw in the XL shirt that feels more like a dress, and climb into bed next to Calum.

The nightmare haunts me once more.