Both of their eyes are closed

part 9

Your eyes go wide and you suck in a harsh breath. You remember the boys telling you that they found him with and empty bottle of pills. What the hell were all of those cuts and bruises doing on his body? How did he break both his arm and his leg.

You had been so caught up in the fact that he was so broken and vulnerable and hurt that you didn't think to question it.

"Oh my god!" You stand up and quietly march out of the room. You think you hear the nurse say something but you ignore it and continue walking.

Why didn't the boys tell you?

You do your best to remember the turns you took to get to the I.C.U. and eventually find your way back to the waiting room. Before you open the door you pause for a moment and take a deep breath to calm down a bit, not wanting to disturb the other people that were in the waiting room.

You open the door slightly and get the Michael's attention, gesturing for him to come into the hall with Ashton and Calum.

The moment they exit the room Ashton sets his hands on both of your shoulders Luke he always does and looks you in the eyes.

"Y/N I am so so so sorry that we didn't tell you all that happened. We didn't want you worrying too much," whispers.

"Oh, so that would be worse than me being in there and finding out that....what even happened?" You do the best that you can to keep your voice quiet when all you want to do right now is yell.

"We don't know, that's how we found him." Michael takes over. "Please, you have to understand. We're all scared here. Ashton, Calum, and I knew that if we had told you the state we found him in you would have been even more stressed and worried. We were going to tell you, but with your baby, that kind of anxiety just wouldn't be very good."

As far as excuses go, it's not the worst. You feel a single tear role down you cheek. You are immediately calm as you take one more deep breath.

"Okay, okay, no your right. I would have freaked out. Thank you guys, for thinking about my child. For some reason I can't figure out how to do the same."

It's only true. You never planned to have a baby, and despite all of the positive tests, and bump in your abdomen that prove you have a life forming inside of you, your brain just can't seem to accept that it's real.

None of this seems real.

This hospital isn't real, Luke's overdose never happened, the baby isn't real. Luke isn't battered beyond recognition.

But it all is real. All of this is happening, and it's happening right now. You just need to wrap your head around it all.