Ruling the Undefined Feelings (COMPLETED)

Prologue

Prologue

My feet is so heavy while walking at the pavement. For all of the hurt and pains I felt ay halos ikaladkad ko na ang mga ito. But imbis na magpahinga matapos ang isang oras na flight ko galing Maynila hanggang Davao, I choose to walked alone at the hotel where I stay. Ang sakit ng aking katawan ay hindi makakapantay for all of the pains I felt here in my heart. Before I decided to take this vacation ay nag-uusap kami ni Drake. But I felt na parang isang dikada na ang nagdaan pero hindi parin mawawala sa aking isipan ang lahat-lahat. Its all fresh in my mind. Lalo na ang mga masakit niyang salita sa akin.

"Drake..please just say that its not true, I know you're just joking!" pagmamakaawa ko sa kanya.

Were talking at my house. He came here while on my way to work but I decided to stay kasi he said he has an important matter to tell at ayaw niyang ipagpalipas pa ito. Pero ang malamang ito lang pala ang gusto niyang sabihin sa akin ay nakakapanghina sa akin. Yes, he's my strength and I didn't expect him to do this to me. I didn't expect that he can hurt my feelings like hell just like this.

Were on the living room,talking. Naka-upo siya sa sulihiya na love seat, while me seating in a single chair. Old fuchsia pink ang kulay ng upholstery nito at bagay na bagay sa light old rose na draperies. The floor is made up of crazy cut marble and the walls are painted with cream wallpaper.

"What you hear is....It's all true." he said without looking at me.

"What?" I said a bit shocked. I can't imagine that he can do this to me. I just didn't expect it.

"You don't own me Cath! Sa pagkakatanda ko wala tayong commitment sa isa't isa. Were not even in a relationship. Walang level." deritsahan niyang sagot.

Napahawak ako sa aking inuupuan. I want to slap him. Yes,were not in a relationship but for the last months na nagde-date kami he didn't fell anything for me? Ano yun falling game tsaka pag may na fall na iwan nalang ng basta-basta. He didn't even bother to care my feelings.

"So for the last months na nagde-date tayo ay nakipag date ka rin sa iba? Ganon ba yon kadali para sayo?" sa wakas ay naisatinig ko na rin kahit na halos maiyak na ako. Kung di ko lang 'to pinigilan, kanina pa ako naiyak.

"What do you want me to do? Stick to you even if you don't gave me a damn assurance? You even prioritise your career more than me. More than anything!" walang kahiya-hiya niyang sagot. 'Damn him!' Ang kapal talaga ng mukha.

"So it's the end after all? Fine! Don't bother to show me your damn fucking face again!" I hissed and walk out of the living room before my tears could fall down. It broke my whole being. The pain is still so varied deep inside me.

I packed all my things when I reached my room. I want a peace of mind. And maybe leaving in this discursive place can give me one.