Choosing My Heart's Direction (1D FanFic)

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Alexis P.O.V.

I quickly stashed the dolls, note, and scissors in an empty drawer, slamming it shut. I wasn't going to touch or look at those dolls ever again, if I could help it.

I jumped in the shower, trying to scrub away everything I was feeling. My guilt, my confusion, my anger. I feel like I have nobody to turn to. Could I trust Carson? Maybe if I told her everything about Zayn, Louis, and Liam, she'd be able to help me figure it out. But, Carson wasn't the most practical person. Especially when it came to guys. I couldn't go to Jasmine. She still wasn't completely happy with me, and she'd hate me if she knew what I was doing. Plus, I'm pretty sure she liked Zayn. So that left me one option. Abby.

I got dressed after my shower and pulled out my phone, dialing Abby's number.

"Hey Lex, what's up?" she answered.

"Hey Abs, I really need to talk to someone."

"Yeah, ok. What is it?" She sounded concerned.

I let everything out. Well, everything except Josh. But by the end of the explanation, I was quietly crying to myself.

"What do I do, Abs? I feel like such a terrible person!" I practically wailed into the phone.

"Shh, it's ok, sweetie," Abby said gently before pausing. "What I don't understand, is why you're still with Louis if you don't love him anymore."

I froze. I'd never said I didn't love him anymore. You can't just fall out of love with someone, can you?

Abby ignored my silence and continued. "And why are you hooking up with Zayn if you don't like him? I mean, I'm not saying you love him deep-down inside, but maybe you should think about that option? Most people don't just sleep with people they don't at least really like."

But I didn't like Zayn. He doesn't give me butterflies. It's just lust.

"But you said Zayn told you he likes you, right? Then, I'm sorry, but I think you're only doing this because you like the feeling of someone liking you. I'm sorry, sweetie, but I think that's why you're hooking up with Zayn."

Was she right? I mean, I guess it was nice to have someone who actually liked me. I'm pretty sure Louis doesn't love me anymore.

"And Liam. I think he's the most complicated. I think you like him. I hate to say it, but I think you do. I can't tell you if you should pursue it or not, but it might be kind of hard with the whole he hates you thing."

I'd been thinking about Liam more and more. He was just so protective and loving and always there for me. I liked him. I liked him a lot. I couldn't deny it anymore. I was falling for Liam Payne.

Liam P.O.V.

How could she do that to Louis? Sure he was an asshole, but that didn't give her the right to cheat on him. He would be crushed if he knew. But I couldn't tell him. He wouldn't even believe me.

How had I had feelings for this girl? She disgusted me. She practically killed her dad, she's cheating on Louis with Zayn, and who knows what other secrets she has. Alexis Indigo Davidson was nothing to me anymore. I didn't like her as a friend or as more. I didn't even like her as a person.

Alexis P.O.V.

I woke up the next morning with one goal in mind. I needed to come clean to Louis. I had to. I couldn't be stuck in this relationship anymore, and Louis deserved to know the truth.

I took as long as possible getting ready, but the time still seemed to fly by. I was practically shaking, I was so nervous.

By the time I couldn't find anything else to do, it was already 2. I left my room and walked into the living room.

"Someone slept late," Harry joked from the couch. I shot him a weak smile before glancing around. All the boys except Liam were in various positions throughout the room.

"Where's Liam?" I asked trying to be casual.

Louis looked up from his phone, as if just noticing me. "He went out for the day."

I nodded. I walked over to Louis, who was watching me. "Can we talk?" I asked quietly. He nodded slowly and followed me into his room. I have to get it over with, right?

He closed the door and sat on the bed, watching me. I awkwardly played with my hands before finally meeting his eye contact.

"I have to tell you something." He nodded to encourage me, his face impassive. Like ripping off a band-aid, right? "Louis, I cheated on you."

His face went from impassive to shock, to sadness, and finally ended on fury. His stare intensified and there may have even been smoke coming out of his ears. "With who?" he growled.

"It was with Zayn. There's no feelings between us, but we slept together." I couldn't look in his eyes anymore, so my eyes retrained themselves on the ground.

"Why? Why are you telling me this? Why did you do it? Why Lex, why?" he screamed. He sounded a lot more mad than sad.

"I don't know," I choked out, tears spilling out of my eyes and down my cheeks.

"You don't know!?" he yelled. He was standing now, moving closer to me.

"I'm sorry, Louis! It wasn't supposed to happen. It just did! Plus, I feel like we don't even love each other anymore!"

He seemed taken aback. "What? Of course I love you, Lex! How could I not? I love you so much, you can't even imagine how hard it was to see you with Liam, and now to just think about you and Zayn?" he shook his head, as if that would make it all go away.

I didn't know what to say. Did he still love me?

"I can't believe this," Louis muttered to himself before shoving past me and out the door. I stayed where I was standing until I heard the front door slam shut and three boys ran into the room. Zayn hovered back a bit but Harry and Niall were all over me with questions.

"What happened?"

"What'd he do?"

"Are you ok?"

"Did you get in a fight?"

I turned to face Harry and Niall, tears streaming down my face. "I cheated on him," I said, trying to hold in my sobs.

Niall's eyes widened and his mouth dropped open. Harry seemed shocked at first but then seemed to be deep in thought.

"You- you- what!?" Niall managed to say.

"I cheated on him. With Zayn."

Niall and Harry both whirled around to face Zayn. Zayn looked impassive, hiding his emotions like he always did. Niall seemed to be in a state of shock, but Harry calmly turned to face me.

"Lex, I think there's something you should know."

I looked at him questioningly, taking a few deep breaths to try to calm down my crying.

"Louis was cheating on you."