Choosing My Heart's Direction (1D FanFic)

Questioned Trust

Alexis P.O.V.

"Were you ever planning on telling him?" Zayn asked quietly as he drove us back to the bus.

I chewed on my bottom lip. "I don't know," I admitted.

He nodded and the rest of the ride was silent.

We arrived back at the bus and I made sure any signs of my breakdown were completely erased before following Zayn onto the bus.

The boys greeted us warmly and I noticed both Harry and Louis' eyes lingering on me.

"So is everything alright?" Liam asked.

I nodded and Zayn remained silent at my side. "Everything's just fine," I said, a 100% fake smile plastered on my face.

Liam grinned in response and him and Niall became uninterested. Harry and Louis seemed slightly more relentless.

"So you're not sick or anything? What was wrong anyway?" Harry asked, genuine care dripping through his words.

"Just a little stomach bug and a headache. All fine now. Zayn just wanted to make absolutely sure," I lied.

That seemed to appease Harry, but Louis remained silent and suspicious. He wouldn't know I was pregnant, right? I mean, how could he? I was on birth control, so he had no reason to suspect anything.

-------

The rest of the day was calm and easy. Now, I was sitting at the counter, twirling my phone around.

"Lex, coming to the concert?" Harry asked as he walked past, getting ready to exit the bus and enter the venue.

"No, not tonight," I replied, my mind elsewhere.

"Why not?" he asked, frowning.

"Just not up for it."

He kept watching me, but I ignored him.

I was distancing him. I was distancing all of them. But what else could I do? I couldn't very well tell them I was possibly pregnant with three of their kid's.

"Ok, have fun," he said, not sounding very happy. I sighed as he jumped down the steps and off the bus.

"We'll be back later, babe," Zayn said as he breezed past, most likely running late.

"Bye. Have a good show," I replied in a monotone voice.

Zayn gave me a sympathetic look but continued out the door following Harry. That left just Niall on the bus. Liam and Louis had gone in earlier, actually on time.

Just then Niall hopped past me while trying to put his shoe on. He looked dangerously close to falling over. "Don't hurt yourself, Ni," I called as he stumbled past.

He grinned at me, popping his shoe on. "Bye Lex!"

"Bye Nialler," I said as he too hopped off the bus, leaving me by myself.

I stared at my phone, wondering if I should call Carson. But I didn't know if she was in contact with Harry anymore, so I couldn't really tell her just in case she told him.

This was honestly the worst, biggest mess I had ever been in and it royally sucked.

And as if to make matters worse, just then my phone vibrated in my hand. I glanced at the screen, actually groaning at the name displayed.

The text was from J and read: hey doll, or should I say dolls... someone's been quite the little slut, eh?

How did he even find out? The only people who knew were Zayn, the doctor, and I. And I knew I could trust Zayn. I mean, sure he used to be friends with Josh, but not anymore, right? He'd promised us that was over. And he'd seemed to genuine.

I stopped myself. I needed to trust Zayn. I had to be able to trust someone. If I lost Zayn right now, I'm not sure what I would do.

-------

The bus rolled through the night as I tossed and turned on my bunk. Sleep was essentially hopeless at this point, but all I wanted was some kind of way to shut down my ever-thinking mind.

Was staying on tour really the right thing for me to do? I was only here to learn about the music industry, and it seemed more like I was on some crappy drama-filled tv show. And if I was really going to have a baby, what was I supposed to do?

I couldn't exactly bring the baby with me around the world.

Just the thought of a baby made me shake in my bunk.

"Lex?" a voice whispered. Before I could even respond, the curtain on my bunk was drawn back to reveal a tired-looking Louis. "Are you okay?"

He wasn't just asking if I was okay at that moment. He meant "was I okay”. He wanted the truth. The truth I couldn't tell him.

I nodded, smiling weakly at the boy I'd fallen so in love with. "Yeah, I'm fine. Go back to sleep, Louis."

He eyed me curiously before letting out a sigh. "Scoot over."

"What?" I asked, confused.

"Scoot over. You're clearly not fine."

He seemed set on his decision so I quietly moved to the other side of my bunk and Louis climbed in with me. He wrapped his arms around me in the most comforting sense I could have ever imagined. It wasn't romantic. But it was perfect.

I molded to his body just like old times, loving the comfort this one boy could bring me.

I felt safe. I felt loved. I felt protected.

I felt like everything was going to be okay.

But, of course, I was wrong.