Choosing My Heart's Direction (1D FanFic)

Let Go

Dedication to SherilynHaber for being one of the sweetest people I've met on here and for being such a dedicated reader. Thank you so much! And everyone should go check her out and fan her!(:

Alexis P.O.V.

I shot out of the bed, grabbing my clothes and throwing them on, refusing to look back at the bed.

"Lex, calm down," he pleaded.

I shook my head as I finished getting dressed.

"Lex, seriously."

I whirled around to face him. "Shut the fuck up, Harry! I fucking cheated on Louis!" I shouted, sinking to the ground. Twice. I had cheated on him twice in two days. What the fuck was wrong with me?

Harry took in a deep breath, running his hands through his hair as the tears flowed down my face.

"Look, we were both drunk. Like, way beyond drunk. I won't tell Louis, Lex. I don't want to ruin your relationship."

Another secret. It was like they never ended.

I nodded, my mind completely blank. I couldn't even think straight.

"It's going to be okay, Lex. Louis will never know. Nobody will."

I nodded again, hugging my knees to my chest.

I was the worst girlfriend in the history of girlfriends.

Harry P.O.V.

I watched Lex sitting on the ground, refusing to meet my eyes. I wanted so badly for her to tell me, "No, I want you Harry. Screw Louis, you're the one I want." But I knew she wouldn't. She doesn't love me the way I love her. She never will.

"Come on, Lex. You should go see Louis," I said, wishing I didn't have to. I should be happy that I had finally slept with her, but I wasn't. At all. Not only could I not remember it, but I wanted more. I wanted so much more than just sex. I wanted love.

She stood up, wiping her eyes. I quickly put on some boxers and sweatpants before walking over to her and pulling her into my embrace. She was tense at first, but soon melted into my arms.

"It'll be okay, Lex. I promise," I soothed into her hair.

She nodded. "Thank you Harry. You're amazing."

I let out a quiet sigh before breaking away from her. She left the room, most likely going to find Louis.

I quickly threw on a shirt and grabbed my cell phone, wanting to be out of the room before Zayn came back.

I jumped in the elevator and zipped down to the first floor. Once there, I walked out a back entrance and into a small alley. I pulled out my phone and dialed Carson, hoping she'd be awake, even though it was 9 in the morning.

"Harry!" the familiar, chipper voice said on the third ring.

"Hey Car," I said, much less excited.

"Uh oh, what's wrong? Hex drama?"

I rolled my eyes at her stupid couple name. "You could say that."

"What happened?"

"We may or may not have slept together," I said, biting my lip.

She remained silent for a minute. "You slept together?" she asked evenly.

"We were both really drunk. It just happened. We agreed we'd just forget about it," I rushed to explain.

Carson let out a loud sigh from her end of the phone. "Lex is becoming too much like me for her own good."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Harry, you know I ship Hex all the way, but you can't honestly want her cheating on Louis with you. That's just wrong."

"I know, Car! I didn't do it on purpose! I can't even remember it!"

"Ok, calm down, Haz. It's okay. I mean, it doesn't really change much, does it? Just don't be a douche and try to ruin things between her and Lou, and you'll be fine. I hate to say it, but she's most likely going to block all thoughts of it. Lex has a thing with pushing problems away."

"Trust me, I know," I muttered.

-------

Alexis P.O.V.

I sat with Louis and all I could think was "GUILT GUILT GUILT YOU FUCKING SLUT GUILT GUILT GUILT.” It was torturous.

"Is something wrong?" Louis asked, turning to face me. I put on my best fake smile and shook my head.

"Nope, everything's good."

He smiled in response, going back to watching his movie.

As I sat there, not paying attention, something else dawned on me. I'd slept with 4/5 of One Direction. This has got to be some kind of fucking joke.

My phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out, making sure Louis wasn't able to see the screen as I read the new text.

From: J

someone's been a naughty girl..

I quickly stashed the phone away, not wanting to think about what Josh was planning on doing. No matter what it was, I knew I wouldn't like it.

-------

The boys had gone off to their concert, leaving me alone in the hotel. Who could I talk to? Carson wouldn't give me good advice, Abby would most likely tell Niall, and Jasmine would hate me. I couldn't tell anyone.

I considered calling Violet, but quickly decided that wasn't an option.

I groaned, leaning back on the bed.

-------

Liam P.O.V.

The boys and I were all in the car on the way to the venue. Harry seemed kind of off, but it'd been a long day for everyone, so I didn't give it much thought.

"So Liam, how are things with Violet?" Louis asked, nudging me slightly.

It was now or never. I had to tell them.

I let out a deep breath. "Things didn't work out," I confessed sadly.

"What happened?" Zayn asked, his voice full of concern. Zayn had known how in love I had been with Violet. How in love I still was.

"She, um, has a girlfriend," I said, my voice a whisper. The car was a silent for a minute before all the boys burst out laughing.

"You're in love with a lesbian? That's hilarious!" Harry cackled.

I shook my head, laughing lightly. They were kind of right. It was a little funny. Plus, it was almost a good thing. I knew not to fight for her. I knew I had to move on. I could finally let Violet go.