Choosing My Heart's Direction (1D FanFic)

For Nothing

Alexis P.O.V.

We spent the next day pretty much lounging around, watching movies in various people's hotel rooms. I'd watched Disney movies with Niall and Zayn all morning, but was now watching Easy A with Louis in our room.

"Where's Liam been all day?" I asked as the ending credits began to roll.

"I think he and Violet went out together," Louis replied casually.

"Oh, that's good."

"Yeah, she could be good for him. That boy could use a relationship," Louis said. I couldn't help but think about the time when Liam and I had almost been in a relationship and how it had almost ruined everything between Louis and I. And how I still couldn't push aside my feelings for him.

Louis scrolled through the movies, unsure of what to watch next.

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Liam P.O.V.

"I had a really good time today, Liam," Violet said, shining her sweet smile.

"I did too, Vi. I've really missed you," I confessed, gazing into her eyes. I reached for her hand, but she quickly drew it back. I looked at my extended hand and then up at her, confused.

"Liam, I need to tell you something."

I felt my heart sink.

She let out a shaky breath and ran her hand through her perfect hair. "Liam, the thing is, I'm kind of seeing someone."

I gulped, willing myself not to let her see me cry. "You are?" I croaked.

She nodded. "I should have told you yesterday, but I just couldn't bring myself to say it. I'm sorry, Liam. I really am."

"Who?" was all I could muster. It was like my heart was shattering all over again. Just as I thought I had her back, I was losing her.

She bit her lip and looked down at the floor. "Her name's Megan. She's the reason I moved to Chicago."

I furrowed my brows before the realization dawned on me. "Megan? As in a girl?"

She nodded, still not meeting my eyes.

I wasn't sure how to react. The girl I loved had a girlfriend.

"I'd love for you to meet her sometime, Li. She's incredible," she said, finally looking up at me.

I nodded. "Yeah, that'd be great, Vi. And we can still be friends, right?"

"Of course," she grinned.

-------

Alexis P.O.V.

There was a loud knocking on the hotel room door. Louis let out a loud sigh before pausing the movie we'd been watching.

"I'll get it," I offered, not wanting Louis to be upset. He'd been pretty quiet all day, but I wasn't sure why.

I untangled myself from his arms and stood up, just as another knock sounded.

"Coming," I muttered. A few seconds later, I swung the door open to find a crying Liam, his arms wrapped around himself. "Liam?" I asked, reaching for him. I drew him into a hug as his body was racked by sobs. "Liam, what happened?"

He didn't respond, silently sobbing instead.

"Hey Louis, I'm going to take Liam to his room. You can finish the movie without me," I called back into the room. I didn't wait for a reply, and instead swung the door shut and led Liam down the hall and to his room. He handed me his room key and I unlocked the door. Niall must still be in Zayn's room, because the room was deserted.

I helped Liam over to the couch, setting him down. I sat next to him and turned to face him.

"Liam, what happened?"

He sniffled, finally turning to face me. "Violet," he said, causing more tears to fall.

"What about Violet?" I pressed. I was worried about Liam, but I couldn't help but feel slightly relieved that things must not have worked out.

He squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his fists. "She has a girlfriend," he said through clenched teeth.

"Oh, Liam, I'm so, wait. Did you say girlfriend?" I asked, confused.

He nodded, taking a deep breath.

I wanted to laugh, but I knew I couldn't due to Liam's fragile state.

"I'm sorry, Liam. Things happen. You'll get over her, Liam. I know you will."

He shook his head. "She was the one, Lex. She's amazing."

"You'll find someone else, Li."

He had stopped crying and was now fully facing me. His eyes met mine and I felt like melting into those chocolate brown orbs.

Without even thinking, I leaned forward, closing the small gap between us and joining our lips together.

He was shocked at first, but soon responded, moving his lips with mine. The kiss was soft and gentle, yet passionate. In a word: perfect.

Liam soon deepened the kiss, and I easily allowed him access into my mouth.

A few minutes later, we broke apart, panting.

"Lex-" he started.

"No talking," I panted, rejoining my lips to his.

He obliged to my request, giving in to the kiss.

Soon, my mouth made its way down his jaw line and to his neck. I made sure not to leave any marks, but still went to work kissing his neck as he let out soft moans.

"Lex, this is wrong," he panted as I ran up hands up his torso.

"If it's wrong, why does it feel so right?" I asked as I leaned my head back and his mouth attached to my neck.

---------

I slept with Liam. Holy fucking shit.

I had just come down from the adrenaline high I'd been on the entire time, and reality had just crashed around me. How could I have been so fucking stupid?

I looked over at Liam, who was dead asleep. I quietly got up, throwing my clothes back on. After fixing my hair in the mirror, I quickly ran to the door, ready to escape. I accidentally banged into the counter, making a loud noise. I winced, hoping Liam hadn't heard.

"Lex, wait," Liam called. I froze, turning back to Liam.

I shook my head.

"Wait, Lex, I'm sorry. We- I mean, I shouldn't have done that. I'm really sorry. I was just feeling really down about Violet, and I guess that was what I needed to know that I would be able to find someone eventually. It didn't mean anything. I'm sorry, Lex. Can we just, erm, forget about it?" he rambled, looking at me with hopeful eyes.

A familiar sick feeling filled my stomach. It meant nothing to him.

I gave him a quick nod before dashing out of the room.

Once in the hall, I sank to the floor, looking at the plain, cream colored wall in front of me.

I had slept with Liam. And it hadn't meant anything to him. Just a way to get over his ex-girlfriend. I had cheated on Louis. Again. All for nothing.

I heard a door open and footsteps, but I couldn't bring myself to look at who it was.

"Lex?" Harry's familiar, deep voice asked. The footsteps continued towards me, and soon Harry was sitting next to me. "Lex? Are you okay?"

I shook my head, just as the tears started to fall.

Instead of saying anything, Harry just wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into him. I graciously accepted the gesture, laying my head on his chest.