Choosing My Heart's Direction (1D FanFic)

Breaking

Quick Author's Note- I know, I'm making Louis like a terrible person. I'm sorry! Don't hate me! Louis' actually my favorite (sorry other boys!), so don't think I'm like hating on him. This is just how the story goes. Sorry Lou! Also, sorry these chapters are so short!

Alexis P.O.V.

I stared at Harry, my jaw wide open. I couldn't even form real words. Louis was cheating on me? But he seemed so hurt when I told him I was cheating on him. What kind of sick person did that?

"I'm sorry Lex," Harry whispered. I nodded weakly, sobs racking my body. I slumped to the floor with my back against the wall, hugging my arms and legs to my chest.

"With who?" Niall asked Harry quietly. Harry shot me a look before he continued.

"His ex, Reagan. It's been going on since you guys broke up."

Louis never talked about Reagan. Zayn had told me about her. Some model that dumped Louis to move to Paris to pursue her dreams. Zayn said she was a total bitch, and I guess I could believe it.

"Are they secretly dating or just hooking up?" Zayn asked in a hushed tone. Nobody seemed to want to talk louder than a whisper.

"I'm not sure. Louis sounded like he still loved her, but you never know with Reagan."

He was in love with someone else. I mean, sure I'd been hooking up with Zayn, but that's all it was. No feelings involved. He was actually in love with some other girl.

I buried my head on my legs, squeezing my eyes shut. I let the tears flow and the sobs continue to the point that I was starting to sound like a dying walrus. But I didn't care. I'd never felt so empty. Why didn't he just tell me? At least I told him about Zayn and I. If he actually loved someone else, why didn't he just tell me and dump me?

I don't know how long I stayed in that position, but by the time I finally peeled myself off the ground, I was stiff all over. I stretched slightly, wiping the remaining tears off my face and walking into the living room.

The three boys all looked up at me, smiling sad smiles. I didn't even try to return it, instead plopping down on the couch and cuddling into Harry.

"I talked to Louis. I told him that I told you," Harry stated casually.

I looked up at him questioningly.

"He was mad I told you. Like really mad."

I didn't respond and instead buried my head into Harry's shoulder, his arms wrapping around me tightly.

"And I talked to Liam," Niall said. He sounded out of it, like his mind was somewhere else.

I redirected my gaze at him, another questioning look on my face.

"He'll be home soon. You can talk to him then," was all he said.

I glanced at Zayn who was playing with a pillow and at least pretending to watch tv. I'd have to talk to him later.

I snuggled back into Harry, breathing in his familiar scent. At least these Harry wasn't mad at me. I was unsure of how Niall felt towards me, but he didn't seem overly happy. However, he also didn't seem to completely hate me, so that was a start.

I know what I did was wrong, but what Louis did was worse, right?

A few minutes later, Liam strolled into the apartment. Our eyes locked and he gave a quick nod before walking straight into his room. I got up and followed him inside.

"Before you say anything, I want to talk," he said as I closed the door and sat on an empty armchair. I nodded, signaling him to continue.

"Now, I know that what Louis did was wrong. But, you need to also realize that you're at as much fault as he is, Lex. Sure, you can tell yourself that you weren't as bad as him, but come on. You cheated on him with his best mate. And if anything, it's worse because you don't even like him! You were doing it for no reason except sex! Which you could have easily gotten from Louis. There is literally no explanation for your behaviors. At least Louis can say that he loves that girl and he would rather be with her than you."

I stared at him, new tears prickling my eyes. I can't believe he just said that to me. My Liam. He sounded so.. disgusted. Like my very existing made him want to spit.

"Don't try and explain yourself to me. We both know you couldn't possibly have an explanation that makes what you did okay. I'm utterly repulsed by the fact that you could cheat on Louis. And with Zayn of all people," he scoffed.

The tears were now freely flowing. I couldn't even respond. But I had to. I had to tell him. I stood up to leave, but paused before the door, turning to face him.

"You know why I told Louis?" I croaked out, my voice sounding weak and groggy from so much crying.

Liam raised an eyebrow, still looking at me as if I were a piece of trash on the side of the road.

"I was going to tell you I thought I had feelings for you. I did it for you, Liam," I sniffed. I wanted to run out right then, but I needed to see his reaction. Would he return my feelings? He had to. I know he likes me. He's told me before.

Liam seemed to stare at me intensely for a few seconds before slowly shaking his head. "Do you think admitting that to me is going to make me automatically forgive you and tell you I felt the same way? That's not how it works, Lex. You disgust me. Get the hell out of my room," he spit at me.

I could practically hear my heart breaking. I'd meant everything I'd said to Liam. I did like him. And he hated me. He wanted nothing to do with me. And everything he'd said earlier was true. It was all true.

I sprinted out of the room and into mine, ignoring the other boys calling for me. I slammed the door, locking it behind me. I had never used the lock before, but now seemed a good enough time for it.

I slumped on my bed, burying my head in my hands and letting the tears flow. The other boys knocked for a while before giving up and returning to whatever show they were watching.

I slowly stood up and made my way towards my dresser. I opened one of the bottom drawers and removed the items I wanted. I placed them on my bed and looked over all of them.

I clutched the scissors in my hands before getting to work. The first head to go was Louis'. My anger towards him poured through me and I chucked his head across the room.

I continued chopping off heads like a crazy person.

Eventually, I held the final two dolls in my hands. The choice was easy enough, but what would it mean? Would it mean that Josh would make me date the one I saved? Or was it just a stupid little game?

Trying not to give it much thought, I quickly cut off the last doll's head, leaving one boy.

I trashed the four headless dolls before sliding the final doll and scissors back into the drawer.

What did it mean? What would Josh make me do with the boy I'd chosen?

And why had I chosen him?

Why had I saved Harry?