Choosing My Heart's Direction (1D FanFic)

Screwed

Dedication to 1D_London_xx for being absolutely incredible! Thank you so much, love ya girl!<3

Alexis P.O.V.

I felt like I was going to be sick.

Like physically throw up. And not just because of morning sickness.

"You're only about two weeks along."

And with those words, I felt like the entire room had spun out from under me. Two weeks ago. Two weeks ago was when I slept with literally four different guys over the course of four days.

"Lex?" Zayn asked, his hand lightly resting on my knee. I didn't even turn to face him. My mouth just hung open in shock.

This baby could literally be Louis', Harry's, Liam's, or Josh's. Just the thought of having Josh's child in me, made me want to both cry and puke.

This was like when I was pregnant with Steve's baby all over again. But worse.

"I think she's just in shock. I'll leave you two alone. Congratulations," the doctor said before exiting the room.

Yeah, congratu-fucking-lations to me.

"Lex? Say something," Zayn pleaded, standing in front of me, his hands firmly on my shoulders.

I forced myself to look up and meet his gaze. He looked worried.

"It'll be okay, Lex. Even if you guys aren't together, Louis will make a great dad. And you'll be an incredible mom."

All I felt was guilt. Louis only have a 1/4 chance of being the dad.

This couldn't be real. This couldn't actually be happening to me.

I thought back to those four times. Had I used protection for any of them? I didn't really remember the night with Harry, but I knew for a fact I hadn't with the other three, and I highly doubt Harry and I did. Wasn't birth control supposed to make sure things like this didn't happen?

"Lex, come on. Say something," he begged, his grip on my knees tightening. I stared into his caramel eyes, my mind racing, my expression blank.

I mean, did I really have to tell anyone that the kid wasn't Louis'? The only problem with that plan was Harry and Liam would probably both assume it was their kid, and if it came out with curly hair or even Josh's features, that may look just a little suspicious.

I was screwed. I was completely and totally fucked.

"You can't tell anyone," I whispered. And with those few words, it was like a damn broke. Tears rushed to my eyes, and I couldn't even try to hold them back.

"Lex, shh, it's okay," Zayn soothed, moving and sitting next to me, his arm gently rubbing my back. "It'll be okay, love. And we kind of have to tell them. Louis has a right to know."

I shook my head, choking on my sobs. Just the thought of being pregnant again brought back all the guilt of aborting my first baby. I couldn't go through that again. I was going to have to have this kid.

Zayn murmured sweet nothings in my ear while rubbing my back comfortingly. If only he knew the truth behind my tears, he wouldn't be treating me so nicely.

"Lex, what's wrong? You two are going to be great parents," he cooed softly. "What's wrong sweetheart?"

I shook my head. "Just please don't tell anyone, Zayn. I'll tell them myself. When I'm ready."

He let out a sigh. "Fine. But please, just tell me why. Why are you crying? It's going to be okay."

I mustered the weakest smile possible, which Zayn only returned a glare.

"Lex, I know you better than that weak attempt. What's wrong?"

I considered my options. Would it be a good thing to just tell Zayn everything? Maybe he'd know what to do. But it could also be extremely dangerous releasing my secrets into the world. Who knew who they could get back to?

Before I could stop myself, I blurted, "I don't know who the father is!"

Zayn stared at me for a few minutes, shock written on his face. "Well who else could it be?" His tone was even and controlled, like he was striving not to freak out.

I took a deep breath, focusing my eyes on the bland, white ceiling. "Louis, Liam, Harry, or Josh," I whispered. I was hoping Zayn hadn't heard, but he did.

He was on his feet almost immediately, standing directly in front of me. "What the hell are you talking about, Alexis?" he growled.

There was no going back. So I spilled everything. And everything that had made sense at the time, now just made me sound like a total idiot.

I told him about how I hooked up with Liam after things didn't work out with Violet. I told him about how because of that, I got completely wasted with Harry and woke up in his bed the next day. And I told him about Josh while we were at the night club.

Throughout my long story, Zayn stood staring at me, a blank expression on his face.

I finished, just as a fresh wave of tears flooded out of my eyes.

Zayn let out a long, loud sigh.

"Well, I see why you're upset," he muttered.

"Just, please don't tell anyone. Please, Zayn. I'll figure it out."

He considered for a minute before letting out another sigh and nodding. "Fine. Just- please don't get hurt. Or hurt anyone else. This band has been through just about as much as it can handle."

I nodded, choking on my sobs. Zayn extended his arms, wrapping them around my body, and pulling me into him.

"We'll figure something out," he muttered, his hands running through my hair. "I know we will," he added, more to himself.

At least he wasn't giving up on me. I was worried that as soon as I told him, he'd storm out and never talk to me again. But Zayn wasn't that kind of guy.

"So what do we do?" I asked once Zayn pulled away from our hug.

He thought for a minute. "I mean, we have some time before anyone notices anything, right? So we'll use that time to come up with something. And just for the sake of your sanity, you should probably get it in your mind that it's Louis' baby. If you convince yourself, you can convince other people."

I nodded. What he said made sense. Even if it wasn't Louis' kid, I couldn't exactly come out and say it. One Direction would lose fans and it would be a huge scandal.

So it had to be Louis' kid. It was Louis'. Yeah, I could do this.

"But what if it had curly hair? Or like, very obviously Liam's bone structure?" I blurted before I could stop myself.

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. But for now, it's Louis'."

I nodded, leaning my head against Zayn's firm chest as he gently stroked my hair.

"I'll be here for you, Lex. The entire time. I promise."