Art

The discovery

Quick note: Song of the chapter is on the side if you wanna listen to it whilst you read.

*

December 18th 2014, Wednesday

Devon

        "Devon, another present from your secret Santa!" Annie called to me from the playroom and I sighed, heaving myself up from my bed and trekking down the stairs slowly, my mind still on what happened between me and Elaine in the hospital.

        I knew she was just trying to help in her own way, but I couldn't help but be annoyed at her attempt to get me to open up.

        As I went over to my corner, where I knew the present would be kept, I couldn't help but think of what I'd drawn for Elaine. She'd managed to get frustrated to the point where I had drawn something for her without even thinking about it.

        Worst of all, I chose to draw the most hurtful thing of my past and I sighed again, looking into the bag by my corner.

        I was convinced that Elaine wasn't my secret Santa now. There was no way she could have sent me anything from the hospital.

        Inside I saw an MP3 player, complete with earphones. I took out the note written: I'm the worst secret Santa ever. I can't believe I missed two days, but I hope this makes up for it. There are some songs already on it, so I guess you could say I just made you a mix-tape. I hope you listen to it as you paint and you get an extra surge of inspiration.

        I plugged in the earphones and played the first song, which was surprisingly a piano piece. I knew a lot of composers and I faintly recognised the piece. I sat down by my easel, bringing out my phone and finally texting my secret Santa back.

        At least tell me your gender. I typed and sent it, putting it on silent and starting another painting. As I painted and listened to the music, I thought of what other boys my age did during a time like this.

        Unlike me, they probably had a nice family, friends and a social life which I'd given up a long time ago. When I first came to the Home, Annie had suggested that I go to the public school, I'd rejected it, and studied with the children instead.

        As I thought of how different my life would be if I wasn't in the Home and if my past didn't make me feel so trapped within my own body, I suddenly lost the ability to paint for the first time in my life.

        I stared at the unfinished picture of a beach, wiling my hand to continue it, but nothing came to me and I dropped my paintbrush and grabbed my coat.

        "Devon, where are you going?" Annie asked me as I passed the reception. I shrugged, going to the door and opening it.

        "Just need to clear my head, I'll be back soon." I said and left, not bothering to hear what else she was going to say to me. I didn't know where I was going and I didn't care at this point, I just needed to do something other than painting.

        "Never thought I'd freaking think that." I muttered to myself as an old couple passed me by, staring at me curiously. I got out my phone to distract myself with something and saw it beeping, alerting me of a new message.

        "I'm a girl." I read out and sat down on a nearest bench.

        Will you tell me anything else? I typed back, and closed my eyes as more snow started falling. The snow in Devon was exceptionally bad this year. It started as soon as December began and had been constantly falling since.