Both Sides Now.

Chapter 13

Opening my bedroom door I'm greeted by sleepy memories and pain.  Pain from lost? Pain from the word faggot thrown around by thick football jocks, or the fact that I am going to die one day. I don’t know how, I don’t know when. But I know it’ll happen eventually and maybe it’ll be because of suicide or from a freak accident to do with a car crash. I don’t know. Nobody can know until it happens. Fresh snow is falling on-top of this sleepy town. Mid November with Christmas approaching I need a break from everything. And then my phone rings startling me.
“Hey” Abby’s voice is shaking and yet joyful.
“Hi” my voice sounds horse and rough.
“Meet me at the cold brew”
“The cold brew? It’s 10:30”
“On a Friday they’re open 24/7 on Fridays.” She’s got me there.
“Just come over I need to tell you something.” It’s been at least a week since Abby even tried to reach out to me. But I guess it’s ok.

Travelling from my house to the cold brew I see Luke’s car in the parking lot. It’s almost empty besides them. Abby and Luke.
“Hey” I say taking a seat next to them. And I see Luke holding Abby’s hand.
“So. Me and Abby”
“We’re official!” she cuts him off giggling.
“Whoa seriously? Good for you guys” I say but it’s like a stab to the heart. My heart drops and I don’t exactly know why. Maybe it’s because I still love Luke? No. That’s not it. “That’s seriously awesome, when did that happen?”
“Around October.”
“October?”
“Yeah, uh we’ve been meaning to tell you but.” Luke says.
“Save it. I’m really happy for y’all” I say in response smiling a little.
“So when are you going to get with Dwight Hun?” Luke says
“Guys I’m not interested in him. I mean I guess I’ll just third wheel right?” I say and laugh.  
“No! You need to get with someone. Come on double date!” Abby says “maybe Alfie’s gay I know you like him”
“What? No I mean sure he’s cute,”
“Really cute”
“Cute.” I say “and he’s probably straight also does he know about you two?” I ask.
“Uh yeah I told him at the football game.”
“The football game? That was almost a month ago”
“Yeah, but I mean we we’re going to tell you, but the whole gay thing happened, and we didn’t want to make you feel bad.”
“It probably would have made me feel better. But seriously is that why you guys never invite me anywhere? Because that’s what I’m thinking.”
“Well you’ve been going through a lot” Abby says.
“You don’t think I know that? My life has been pretty shit for the past month and neither of you have been with me. At least Abby put out the effort.” I say sour and sharp.
“Whoa Tom”
“Save it Luke. Listen I’m happy for you and I’ll see you later,” I say getting up
“Just talk to us,” Luke says. “Seriously Tom? Not everything is about you,”
“You think everything's about me? Literally nothing is about me. Nothing”
“The whole gay thing. You haven’t even tried to talk to me. I don’t know what’s up with you, but you need to realize the world doesn’t revolve around you.”
“Luke grow the fuck up. You didn’t even tell me. Like who the fuck does that. It’s not that big of a deal. That you and Abby are a thing. And for your information the world definitely doesn’t revolve around me. If anything it's against me. And also I could’ve definitely thought you were gay. With the whole kiss thing,”
“Don’t you dare bring that up.”
“You kissed back, before that look of Fucking betrayal. I say romance. You liked it. Just fucking admit it.”
“Abby don’t listen to him.”
“Wait are you gay?” she asks.
“No no. I love you only you babe.” Luke says in response. “Tom I hate you. I physically hate you.”
“Right back at you. The shunning after fucking hurt too.” I say tears building up In my eyes, and my ears are burning from embarrassment.  “Come and fight me.” I say. “Punch me right in the face. Because it would be better then just standing there”
Luke gets up and I face him.
“get the fuck out.” He says “I never want to see you again. All you ever do is bring negativity and pain and I’m sick of it.”
“Ok, I’ll see you Abby.” I say exiting the coffee shop. I don’t even make it to the car before breaking down. I wander to the car and slam my hand on the wheel. What the hell just happened. Seriously what just happened.  I’m so sick of them doing stuff without me. We were the 3 amigos. Guess not anymore. I don’t know what to do.