Box of Scraps | RANDOM II

86 | fuck

So, I don't know how much I'm gonna be writing right now. 

I know I said I was gonna write a lot this week, but I'm not sure right now. I'm not exactly in the best place right now, and I can't really bring myself to write a lot of things that are really happy because I'm in a lot of fucking emotional pain right now. 

I was supposed to go see Bumblebee with my boyfriend tonight. I walked to the fucking movie theatre in the middle of a sleetstorm when the sidewalks were extremely fucking dangerous, trying to go as fast as I could without hurting myself so I wouldn't be late. 

And guess what? 

He didn't fucking show. 

He didn't fucking show at all and I've yet to hear from him and the damn movie was at 4:45 and it's now 10:00 and I just...I can't fucking do this anymore guys. 

Its like, it's not even the first time he's done this, but its literally the first time he's done it without sending me some kind of message telling me it's gonna happen or apologizing for it happening. So, I don't know why today was so different or why today he happened to just not tell me. 

All I know is that I fucking hurt like hell now and I have this urge to punch him in the fucking face when I see him next (which won't happen because I won't see him until I go to work on Saturday) and I just fucking hate feeling this way. 

But yeah, I don't know when I'm gonna write right now, I'm sorry. 

(The funny thing is I didn't even want to see Bumblebee because I'm not really into Transformers  but my theatre isn't showing Spiderverse anymore so it was either Bumblebee or Aquaman and I went with the lesser of two evils  so I had to pay five bucks for a movie I didn't even originally want to really see. I ended up actually liking the movie but that's soooo not the fucking point).