Mature (book 2)

Chapter 11 - no?

"Are you still there?" He asks after a few seconds of silence.

"I don't know what to say, I do want you to move on, but you did it on an international TV show, it just really hurt, I don't know why." I say.

"I know why" he says. "What?" I ask. "You want me," He says. "No shawn, I don't." I say.

"Yes you do, you got so hurt by me rejecting you, that you called me,YOU, CALLED, ME." He says.

"Shawn That has nothing to do with it, I don't want you, I have a boyfriend." I say.

"Admit it, you want me, you miss me as much as I miss you."

"Shawn knock it off, I don't miss you, I don't want you, honestly I'm tired of you getting back into my life." I say "we both need to move on"

"I thought you already moved on." He says. "Shawn seriously, stop it" I say.

"Fine. Tell me now, that you don't miss me, and that you don't want to ever talk to me again. If you say that, I promise you I will never speak to you again and I'll let you go," he says.

FUCK. He can't do that.

"Shawn are you serious right now?" I ask. "I am, say it, I bet you"

"Shawn I don't want to ever talk t—" I stopped myself. I know I will regret it. I do miss him, but I don't 'want' him...

"You don't want to ever what?" He asks. "Shawn, please don't make me say it."

"Why not? Isn't that what you want? To never talk to me again? To never see me? To move on? " He asks.

"No—" I say.

Fuck why did I say that? "No? That's not what you want? Than what do you want? Tell me. I'm In Montreal right now, i have a show in a few days, I have a car, if you want me to come over. I'll come" he says.

"Shawn Stop it, you won't come over, it's like 10 hours drive, just... stop it" I say wiping my tears.

"First of all it's like 7 and a half, maybe 8 hours, second of all why can't you tell me what you want from me? Please, I need to know." He says. "Do I still have a chance?" He asks.

Wow. How am I supposed to answer that? I love Liam, I don't want to hurt him. I want to be with Liam.

"No." I say. FUCK.

"No? I don't have a chance?" I can hear his voice breaking.. I think he is crying.

"Shawn, I'm sorry.." I say and I'm starting to cry again.

"Well, thanks for telling me the truth and not leading me on" He says.

"Shawn I'm sorry, but I can't. We can't." I say. Fuck. I hate all of this.

"Yeah ok, goodnight" He says and he hangs up. Holy shit. What just happened?

After my shift I went back home. It's already 4 a.m. yes, I worked 9 hours.

I don't think I'll go over to Liam it's really late, it's practically morning.

As I walked in I saw Brittney sitting on the couch. "Uh.... What is going on?" I ask.

"Oh my god...." she screams runining to me hugging me. "I haven't seen you in forever. Tell me all about Paris" she says.

Oh right, I totally forgot that I haven't seen Brittney since a few days before I flew with Liam.

"Oh, hey" I say. She grabs my hand and we sit on the couch. "So, tell me everything" she says, looking excited.

"Look I'm really tired, is it ok if I'll go to sleep and I'll just talk to you in the morning..?" I ask.
"Why what time is it?" She says.

"4 a.m." I say. "Btw, What are you doing here? It's 4 in the morning?" I add.

"Oh, I came over at like 10 I thought you'd be here, Lucas was here, he said you left to work and that I can stay here until you come back. So I watched a movie, and another one, and another one, and another one-"

"Got it" I stop her from continuing. "So you should go home, and go to sleep and I'll talk to you tomorrow." I say. "Byee" I say pushing her out.

I stop the movie she was watching, turn the TV off, And I go straight to the shower.

After about 40 minutes or so, i felt like I want to just take my time, and relax. I got out I changed into my pajamas and I went to bed,

Literally a second later I heard a knock on the door. What did I do wrong? Why can't I just go to sleep?

I go to open the door. OH MY FUCKING GOD. Shawn is standing in front of me, this is the first time in a year, that I've seen him.

He walks in and he puts his lips on mine, starting to kiss me, and it feels so good. Holy shit. I can feel him smiling as we kiss, he is so adorable.

I want him to stop, but it has that magic, I can't explain. Oh my god...........

I push him away. I look at him, taking a moment to adjust my breath.. "what are you doing here?" I ask. Holy shit, I can't believe he is actually here,

"I thought about it, and you said that I don't have a chance. Well fuck that. Because I want you back" he says. "You really drove 8 hours just for me?" I ask. "No, it was mostly for me, I haven't seen you in so long. I was going crazy. I needed this" he says looking in my eyes.

He leans in, getting closer and closer trying to kiss me again, "Shawn stop" I say moving my head to the side.