Mature (book 2)

Chapter 12 - omg

"What?" He asks.

"I'm with Liam, I can't do this to him. I'm sorry, I told you that we are over. You and I are over.. and I'm sorry but you need to leave" I say.

Man, I forgot how tall he is, wow.

"Are you serious? No. I'm not going, I want you. I miss you. Please." He says softly.

I seriously don't know what to do now, I want to kiss him, I want to hug him, I want to. But I can't. I want Liam more.

"I'm sorry Shawn" I whisper as tears are falling down my eyes. He kisses me again, with more passion, making me walk backwards as he walks towards me.

As we walk in he closes the door with his leg and He pushes me to my bedroom, slowly taking his shirt off.

"Shawn Stop it" I say with my eyes closed slightly moaning as he throws me on the bed.

He gets on top of me and he looks at me, "don't you want me?" He asks.

Oh my god, I'm dreaming. I have to be, there is no way Shawn is actually here. Asking me if I want him...

If this is a dream I can do whatever I want right?

"I want you" I say. Shawn smiles and he kisses me. He takes my shirt off slowly revealing my bare chest, kissing my neck.

"Wait" I say. He stops, he is looking at me, a bit confused. what if I'm not dreaming.. I close my eyes and I pinch myself, I slowly open my eyes and Shawn is still on top of me, no I'm not dreaming.

"Shawn?" — "What?" He replies. "I can't." I say. I'm confused. I can't do this. I push him a bit and I sit down putting my shirt back on.

"B, what is happening you just said you want me.." Shawn says looking confused. "I know" I say and I'm starting to cry.

"I do want you Shawn" I say looking at him, as I say that Shawn glows. He gets closer to me and he is about to kiss me,

"Please don't" I say standing up. "I don't get you" He says. "I just drove almost 8 hours for you, for me, for us." He says

"Shawn there is no us. How am I supposed to move on if you keep showing up?" I ask.

"What are you talking about? We didn't talk in a year! Do you even know what happened to me in the past year? how sad I was? Since you left me, all I could do was think about you, and than I had to preform. It was so hard for me. And you weren't there for me, you wanted to move on, but I couldn't." He says.

"Shawn I'm sorry, please... don't make it harder than it already is. I can't do this anymore" I say.

"Fine. I'm sorry, just please don't cry" He says standing up, getting closer and closer wiping my tears, looking in my eyes.

"I'm really tired, we should go to sleep" I say.

"We?" He asks. He smiles and he pulls me closer to him.

"Oh my god...." I move him aside "come on" I say and I get in the bed "what?" He asks.

"I'm going to let you stay here, only because it's like a year drive and because it's practically morning and you haven't slept yet.." I say. "You have to rest. You can stay here tonight and tomorrow morning, when you wake up, you are going back to Montreal" I add.

"Ok" he says, and he gets in the bed next to me,

He is so close to me, with our faces faced to each other, I can feel his breath, he is smiling.

I can't remember the last time we were this close, it's been so long. I haven't seen him in a year....I missed this, him, just laying there, next to me, smiling.

I can't believe he is actually here. Smiling, in the bed next to me, we just fucking kissed, oh my god.

"I missed this, I missed you." he whispers, still smiling, still looking at me, I don't reply . Butterflies are flying through my stomach, no no no. This can't happen.

He gets closer to me and he puts his hand around my body. "Goodnight B"

"Goodnight Shawn" I say. He closes his eyes and I let myself smile and I put my hand around his body too, I missed him so much.

We fell asleep hugging. He

It's 1 p.m. I woke up and the first thing I saw was Shawn's precious face,

Holy shit, shawn is here?!?

Oh right, he came last night, I totally forgot he came, Shawn and I Are cuddled. Holy shit. Did we....?

I take a few seconds to remember, and no, we haven't. Thank god. I didn't cheat on Liam. I know I kissed him. But at least I didn't sleep with him. That counts right?

For a second I thought we did... you know. Because he is shirtless. And he looks so good.

Oh shit, but I remember that I wanted to, be with him. but I haven't. That means something right?

"Good Morning" Shawn slowly opens his eyes, he smiles and he gives me a little kiss on the lips, what the heck?

"B?" Lucas knocks on my door. "Fuck" I say, and than I push Shawn away. "Oh my god, this is why I wanted you to leave. Fuck." I say.

"Wow, B relax" he says. "I'll just go to the bathroom" he says.

I take a moment to breathe and Shawn goes to the bathroom. I open the door to Lucas.

"Hey" I say. I'm acting like nothing happened, but omg. Everything happened. I can't believe Shawn is actually fucking here, how can I resist him?  It was so hard to tell him to stop last night, oh man. I don't want to ever go through that again.

"Hey, good morning. Liam just called me, he said you aren't answering, he is on his way here.. he is taking you for lunch" he says. "So go get dressed" he adds

Fucking fuck. No no no no no. He can't come now.