Icy - John Mulaney x OC

1 - I Don't Like This

My alarm was going off right in my ear, and I still wasn't awake. I wasn't a heavy sleeper usually, but last night I had been out very late, clubbing. It was actually unusual for me because I usually try to stay away from big crowds, especially if the crowds were full of loud, drunk people. It's just not my thing. That being said, I hadn't had a horrible night. 

Laura, my roommate and best friend had asked me to go. It was her birthday, so I couldn't exactly say no. It had been a good night, though. Laura had a lot of friends who I knew pretty well. She was a huge extrovert, always introducing me to new people, and I wasn't surrounded by a bunch of strangers. Plus, I didn't have work today or tomorrow, so I could really let loose. Maybe I didn't 'let loose' by Laura's standards, because she was an absolute animal, but I had a few too many drinks and danced, which was fun in my book.

"Charlie!" Someone was shaking me. Laura. Speak of the devil. "Charlie, get up!"

I groaned and rolled over, looking at the clock next to my bed. 10 o'clock. "Laura," I croaked. "How are you not super hungover right now?"

Laura pouted and sat on my bed. "Aw poor baby. Do you want me to bring you orange juice? I just had one."

I nodded, and she got up and left the room. Laura's the best. I also got up, hitting my alarm so it would finally stop beeping. My head immediately hurt less, but not a lot less. I quickly changed into comfortable clothes before Laura came back with a tall glass of orange juice. I smiled and took the glass. "You're an angel," I said before taking a  sip.

Laura smiled and sat next to me again. "I know. Actually, though, there's a reason I woke you. I know you're not doing anything, because you don't have work, and you always spend your days off watching bad horror movies."

 I scoffed. 

"Don't act like it's not true, Charlie, I live with you. Anyways, I'm meeting a couple of my friends who couldn't make it to my birthday to a restaurant for brunch, and you need to come."

I groaned "Laura I went to your birthday last night, why do I need to go to brunch." 

"Because you're my bestie!" I rolled my eyes at her use of 'bestie', and she punched my shoulder lightly and continued. "Plus, there are some people I want you to meet."

I looked at her, and she stared me down for a minute before I let in. "Okay, fine," I said. "How many people will there be there?"

She smiled and got up. "Besides us? Two."

Only two? I could handle that. Usually, Laura invited about ten to twenty people when she wanted to go out. She and I are very different people. Laura is an excitable, fun party animal, whereas I am an introverted, cautious, sort of cynical person. A lot of people have asked us why we're friends. It's a fair question because usually, I can't stand people like her, but it's different when it's your best friend, I think. We met in college at a party and became friends. To this day I have no idea how I managed to pull that off, but it happened, and now she's my 'bestie'. 

As she left my room to get ready, she called over her shoulder. "It's dressy casual, wear something nice." Oh, come on! I had just changed!

I was feeling mildly uncomfortable in my dressy casual clothes. Not that I didn't look cute, because I did, but it didn't suit the weather that well. It was below 40 degrees out, and my black turtleneck was too thin. for the sake of the aesthetic, I hadn't brought a jacket, and I was regretting it. The rest of me was fine, but as anyone who knows anything will tell you, it is the core of a person that really matters the most to keep warm, because that's where the heart is, and if the heart is warm, the rest of the body will be too. Now, everything was warm except my core and my arms, and I was cold as shit.

"Charlie!" Laura snapped her fingers in my face, bringing me back to reality. "Were you even listening to me?" I shook my head. Laura smiled. "Of course you weren't anyways, as I was saying, The two people I invited are named Corinne and John. They don't know each other. Corinne is an accountant, and she was working last night. John couldn't go last night because he doesn't drink, and he's a comedian. He-"

"A comedian??" I interrupted. "Laura, where do you find these men?"

"It's not like that!" Laura defended herself. "He's just a friend. Besides," she nudged me. "I'm pretty sure he's gay."

I raised my eyebrows. "Good for him?" I was pretty sure I knew what

Laura rolled her eyes. "Don't worry, I'm not trying to set you guys up. I know how much you hate that." She tossed her long hair over her shoulder. "You'd probably scare him away anyways."

I gasped. "Rude!!!" I exclaimed.

Our Lyft stopped in front of the restaurant for brunch, and I followed Laura into the restaurant. The other two weren't there yet, so we sat down at our table. Corinne got there first, giving Laura and me hugs. She was a very... huggy person. She liked hugs. Then, John arrived. He looked like if you mashed together every twunk in a high school in Illinois and then used Photoshop to make them taller. He also hugged Laura, but did not hug me, thank god. I smiled politely at him as he sat down, and he grinned back. Why was he smiling so big? We didn't know each other.

We all talked for a while, then Corrine and Laura started their own conversation, and I had no choice but to talk to John.

"So, Laura tells me you're a comedian?" I asked tilting my head slightly. 

"I am. Usually, that scares people away, I'm surprised you're still here."

"Well, I don't know yet if you're funny or not."

"Well, I think I am," He said, "But you're probably asking because you want to see for yourself?" He phrased it as a question.

I nodded, resting my chin on my hand. "Entertain me."

The waitress brought us our food, and John's face lit up. He looked at me slyly and put his hands on the table in front of him. "Okay, Charlie." He said, leaning forward. "Let me tell you about the best meal I ever had."