Icy - John Mulaney x OC

5 - I've Never Had A Good Idea In My Life

John and I had been spending more and more time together. He was a very funny person, and he seemed to really like me. I liked him too. Unfortunately, we were both busy people, and I didn't always get to see him as much as I might like too. But things were going good. Sometimes we would hang out at one of our apartments, and sometimes we would go somewhere.

This particular night, however, I was not with John, but with my other best friend and roommate, Laura, and we were at a bar, celebrating. Laura had just gotten a big promotion. John would have been there, but he doesn't drink. So it was me, Laura, her girlfriend Anne, and some of their other friends. Now, to tell you  the truth, I usually don't drink a whole lot. But, I didn't know many people there, and whenever I tried to talk to Laura or Anne, the people I did know, someone would come over and start talking to us, so I would leave the conversation. Since we were at a bar and I couldn't talk, there was only one other thing I could do besides order wings (which I did, even though I hate wings), and that was drink.

At some point, I was having a peach cocktail and Laura came over to me and started whispering in my ear really loudly. "I have a secret but I need you to promise me you won't tell him okay? John told me he thinks your face is nice well he didn't exactly say that exactly but I can't really remember what he said so i'm pharaphrasing."

"Paraphrasing," I said

Laura looked at me. "what?"

I put my hands on her shoulders. "you said paraphrasing, that's wrong it's pharaphrasing." I said, looking her in the eyes.

Laura giggled. "That's what you're thinking about now even though I just told you the biggest, importantest thing in your life?" She asked.

I pushed her face away. "It is not the biggest because I think you're lying. Why would he say about my face? That's the least cutest part of me!"

One of Laura's friends chose this moment to butt in. "actuallly, Charles!! I think that the least cutest part about you is your personality."

"Shut up Kenna!!" I said, taking another sip of my cocktail. "You're the worst!" I turned to Laura. "I think you're a dirty snakey liar, so I'll just ask John myself!" I said, getting out my phone to call a Lyft.

"Go ahead do it!" Laura said. "He's gonna say the same thing that I'm saying, which is that your face is the cutest face in the world!"

I drank the rest of my cocktail and got into the Lyft when it got to where I was.

And for the record, after the events that happened, I was very embarrassed. But, when you're drunk, the first thing you lose is your ability to make rational decisions, so here we were.

I pulled out my phone to let him know because I at least still had at least one rational thought.

To John: I'm goig

To John: goimg to your apatrment.

To John: in tem minutes

From John: What?

To John: Hi

From John: Are you okay?

To John: yes i wil be in ten minutes

I put my phone down even though it still buzzed, and rested my head on the  back of the seat. I didn't fall asleep, but I was close, and I jerked back to full consciousness as the car stopped. I thanked the driver and quickly fell out of the car. I stood in front of his apartment for a second. My nap had sobered me up slightly, but not slightly enough to know that this was a bad idea, just enough to make me nervous.

As I rode up the elevator to his floor, I checked my messages. I had a few from Laura, one from one from Anne, and a few from John. I checked Laura's messages first.

From Laura💕: Were all going to annes to chill afyer the bar!!!! 

From Laura💕: Yuo should come after you leabe johns!

I giggled and sent her a quick message of affirmation.

From Anne: 🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆

I didn't answer. Then, I opened John's messages.

From John: Are you drunk?

From John: Charlie please tell me you're not walking, it's snowing outside!

From John: Please be careful

To John: Im good!!! also im at youe buildung

I stepped out of the elevator and made my way to his apartment. I'm actually surprised I remembered which was his.

Before I could knock on the door, he opened it. He took one look at me, raised his eyebrows, and motioned for me to come in. I sat down on his couch. He sat down in a chair across from me.

"Why are you drunk?" He asked.

I laughed. "There was a party and I was drinking why else??" I held a finger up and continued. "And while I was there with Laura because she was there it's her party, she said a phrase so I had to ask you."

He raised his eyebrows. "And... you couldn't've called? Or texted?"

I shrugged. "I guess."

He looked at me curiously. "You can sleep here if you need," he said. "It's dark and cold and you are," he looked me up and down, "really drunk."

I smiled. "Thanks! But I did come here for the specific reason when we were talking Laura was talking about you." I laughed. "And she said you said that I did have a cute face."

John looked at me, eyebrows raised very high. He coughed. "When did she say that?"

"Just now! That's why I was coming here just now!" I said, exasperated.

John didn't look me in the eyes. "Well, you know, she was drunk, she might've been lying...or something."

Which IS WRONG!!! Drunk people are way more honest than sober people, but I didn't remember that right then so I just nodded. and said, "Well do I?"

"What?"

"My face! Do I have a cute one?" I asked, looking at him earnestly.

He got up. "I'm going to get you a glass of water."

He got me the water, and I drank it. But he still hadn't answered my question. After I finished my water, I looked at him. "You still didn't answered my question," I said.

He snorted and smiled at me. "Yeas, Charlie. You have a very nice face."

I smiled.