Icy - John Mulaney x OC

10 - I Love Laura But She's Scary As Hell

I got ready much quicker than Laura, and sat on the couch while I waited. I was holding my phone, finger hovering over the messaging app. I didn't want to, but I gave in and tapped out a quick message.

To John: Sorry. I don't want to stop being friends.

I had barely hit send when Laura came out of her room. I looked up. "Damn, girl!" I said. She looked good!

She smiled. "You ready?"

I stood and nodded. "Hell yeah."

Once outside, we got into our Lyft. We were almost to the club when I suddenly realized something. "Laura, can we go somewhere different? Sorry. I don't want to go clubbing right now."

Laura raised her eyebrows. "Really? Where?"

We ended up in the cozy diner John had taken me the week we first met.

"This place is so cozy!" Laura said. "But what happened to 'I can't talk about this sober'?"

"I changed my mind. I want food." I said.

Laura laughed. We ordered.

When the waitress left, Laura put her hands on the table and leaned forward conspiratorially. "So what happened that you needed to get out so bad?"

I leaned forward too. "John confessed to me! He told me about how he has a crush on me."

Laura blinked. "What."

"He has a crush on me!"

Laura looked like she kind of wanted to hit me. "I know, you idiot! I've been pushing for you guys to get together since day one! How did you not notice? You told me the other day you thought he was cute too! I thought that meant you knew!"

I put my hands up. "Sorry." I said. 

"So??? Where are you guys going for your first official date?" Laura asked.

I looked at her. "Laura, I said no." I told her.

Now she really looked like she wanted to hit me. "Charlie! Are you dumb!? John is head over heels for you! And I know for a fact you're crazy for him too! Why would you say no??"

I put my face in my hands. "Those are accurate statements." I said. "But it's like I told you, I don't know if i'm like, ready for a commitment like that."

Laura looked at me and crossed her arms. "You're a pussy." She said.

"Laura!"

"Charlie, I love you. You know that. You're my favorite person in the world. But!!! Don't make excuses! That shit happened years ago!" She said.

"So I should forgive James?" I asked.

"Hell no. Fuck that guy. But don't take it out on John. You and I know he's not like that. You're just scared of commitment."

Damn. She got me, I'll hand it to her. "Damn, Laura." I said, putting my hand over my heart. 

"You know I'm right." She said.

"Yeah, I know." I said as the food arrived. "But I'll deal with that some other time?" 

Laura sighed. "Yeah, but you should, as soon as you can."

I nodded. "Of course. But for now... You should get the milkshakes."

Laura grinned. "Alright."

After the diner, we went to a bar. We did end up drinking, because that's what you do at bars, but we weren't nearly as drunk as we had planned. Just kind of tipsy.

We got another Lyft so that we could get home. Once there, we got on Laura's laptop and started to take dumb Buzzfeed quizzes.

"What about that one?" Laura asked. "They're guessing the first letter of our soulmate's names based on our ideal breakfast."

I nodded. "Yeah, sure."

Laura took the quiz first. "My soulmate is going to have a first name starting with K, C, or M. No A?....Well, these aren't accurate anyways."

I laughed. "Okay, my turn!"

I took the quiz. It was hard because I usually only eat bagels or coffee for breakfast. "My soulmate's name starts with M, T, or J."

Laura nudged me. "J, huh? You know someone who fits that description."

I pushed her away, blushing. "There are a lot of J's in the world, Laura. Plus, I thought you just said it was a dumb quiz."

"Yeah, but how many of them are actively interested in you?" Laura asked.

"Laura."

"Sorry, sorry. OH! Let's find out what we should wear to prom based on our TV preferences!"

I turned my attention to the laptop. We did that for about half an hour before Laura got tired. She kissed my forehead and went to her room to sleep. I went to my room and plugged in my phone. It lit up with a notification as I put it in the charger. Oops, that was from an hour ago. I checked the notification.

From John: I don't want to stop being friends either. And I'll still be your fake boyfriend if it doesn't make you uncomfortable now.

I smiled and tapped out a reply.

To John: Of course.