Patience is a Virtue(Under MAJOR editing)

Chapter 3*

My wall I built finally had enough cracks and I broke through. I burst into big ugly tears and Bell hugged me and held me while I sobbed on her. The doctor made an excuse about other patients that needed more help and left us to what happened here. When my tear ducts were dry, I sat up trying to compose myself. she started stroking my back lightly which made me want to cry all over again. But no tears came so I sat in misery.

I wiped my tears away and tried to make the swelling go down so it wasn’t as noticeable.  Bell sympathetically helped me with her own hands, gently wiping any stuff or makeup I had on.  I then realized something. Something important. More important than my injuries myself.

“Where’s my parents? Why didn’t they come to see me?”

She shakes her head. “I’m sorry… I probably shouldn’t say it to you.”

I ask again a little louder so she can’t ignore me. “What happened Bell. Are they just busy? Out of town?”

“Uhh well… they died.” She murmurs oh so quietly.

Shock fills my whole body from head to toe. No, this can’t be possible. How, what, why? Was it my fault they died? Did I do this to them? A burning sensation rises from deep in my body and guilt crushes me. All while that time, more tears came out of my eyes. I guess my tear ducts weren’t dried out.

After a round of more tears, I hiccup once or twice and sit up straight up again. “How?” my voice cracks.

She draws a shaky breath. “The night of your party last year. They were driving you home from the party and everyone got in a car accident. They died on scene of the accident from what you said but Josh came along and saved you from dying. You didn’t say much about it but I understand why.”

I give her a blank look. Who’s Josh? Should I thank him again? “Uh…..” I try to think. Josh… the senior at my school Josh? We never talked but it could’ve of happened.

“Oh my god! You don’t remember Josh do you? I would think you wouldn’t… I guess. Wow you guys were the perfect for each other.” She states but mumbles off into her own world at the last part with a dreamy gaze.

Really puzzled, I try to think really hard. I think into the back of my mind but nothing comes up… absolutely anything. I give a frustrated sigh and try to think deeper. A nurse comes in and tells Bell visiting hours are over and when she doesn’t leave she gets impatient.

“Give me a minute. Just ONE more minute.” Anger displayed on Bell’s face. The nurse made a small face to her and shrugged.

“I’ll give you a minute. Then I have to call security.”

“I’ll be out soon.” Bell muttered.

“A minute.”

“Yep.” She smiled and turned around to the nurse. “I got it. One minute.” The nurse nodded and left the room. I sighed sadly and looked at my nails. Nothing was on them, just like my memory.

Ill visit you tomorrow ok?”

I try for a genuine smile that succeeded. “Can you take me home then? I’m let out then.”

 “Yes! See you tomorrow sissy. I love you!”

I watch her then leave and I settle in the sheets. Long and tough day. I see a bag and curiously get up and look into it. There’s a note in it and it’s in Bell’s handwriting. I smile when I see it but read on. It tells me that this is your bag and they recovered it from the accident. I then realize no one told me what happened in the accident. I throw the note on the nightstand beside me and rummage through it. Just some keys and a wallet and a phone.

 I smile when I realize its mine. It might finally tell me some answers from this. I open it; thankfully there was no password, and look through it. There are lots of pictures of Josh and I look…happy. There are lots of texts between us and apparently there was something big going to happen yesterday but it doesn’t say but you can just tell from this that I loved him and so did he.

Not even realizing this was happening, something wet started dripping down my nightgown, it was more tears. If possible. We looked just so… happy. I will crush him once he finds out I can’t remember him. I know it would crush me.

 I go to facebook and there are so many people telling me to get better and hope I’m ok. I don’t remember being this popular, at all. I looked through my pictures and statuses only to find more pictures of Josh and I. along with Bell and her family with things. I seemed to spend a lot of time over at her house.

When I finally get to bed it’s late and I let out the rest of frustrated tears I possibly could and darkness finally takes over.

A couple hours later I wake up and gasp and sit strait up. The accident. It’s MY fault. I made them come get me. I remember now and I hate that memory. Every moment was like a nightmare.

The car.

The crushing sounds.

My own screams.

My accident.

~ ~ ~ 

 I miss my family already.

 Her constant smile and his joking at everything.

I miss that all already.

 I look at more pictures of Josh through my phone. I think I know what he looks like now if I try looking for him. We were in an accident together. He must be in the hospital as well. Finally getting the courage to do this, I sneak out of my room all together then make my way down the hall.

I peep in a couple doors and finally see one that looked like him. I look at the door and it has Josh Peterson written on the door. I take a deep breath and go inside.as quiet as possible, I tiptoe to his bed to find him sleeping. Of course.

His black hair rested down the side of his face peacefully. His face looked a bit troubled but other than that he was really handsome. Good job! I remark. But ignoring that part of my brain, I try racking up as much memories I could come up with.

Nothing.

 Patience I remind my self angrily. He stirs while mumbling something and I panic and almost sprint out the door. But he didn’t wake up. Sigh of relief right there.

Maybe, it might work if I touch him. Maybe that will stir some memories. I touch his black floppy hair and pull back instantly. Still nothing.

I sigh to myself and walk out. As I’m almost out the door I hear my name whispered and I stiffen. Am I caught?!

Craning my neck ever so slowly, I get a good look at him. He still had his eyes closed. But a more troubled look crossed his face. I pad back over to him with a look of sympathy.

“I’m sorry.” I whisper then finally leave his room for good that night. When I finally get to my room, I go lie down thinking what all happened.

Too much thought later, I feel into a deep sleep. Luckily, no nightmares. Just blackness.

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hey!!! hopped you like this one better!! i cant think too much on this stuff so dont give me grief on it! :) please comment i will get back to you as soon as i can!

 Edited. Well, the first of many lol.