Patience is a Virtue(Under MAJOR editing)

chapter 16

I see cal and practically sprint to him. He doesn’t notice me but he is walking to the school building. I grab him from the behind him and hug him. He freezes.

“whos this?” he asks and I laugh. He starts laughing along.

“crystal?”

“the one and only”

he turns to me and smiles and leans down to my height and kisses me. my eyes flutter close to his touch. I smile against his lips and when he pulls away I flutter my eyes open again.

“hey.”

He sighs and puts an arm around my shoulders and starts walking again. “hey. How have you been?”

“my back is sore.” I complain then chuckle. He stops and I get yanked back.

“what?”

“oh… uh my back is sore from the accident and it acted up yesterday. Nothing to worry about anymore.” I fake smile. My back is killing me. just don’t tell him that. Can get through this. he smiles and looks forward again and starts walking.

“oh well that’s good that its getting better. Don’t want you in a lot of pain.”

“yeah that’s a good thing.”

He walks me to my locker and kisses me goodbye. “well I got to go to class. Bye.”

“bye.”

I smile as he walks away. he actually cares. Then I hear a voice. “good your alone.”

I smile to bell. “good your not with ryan, maybe could of pried your body off his.” She blushes furiously.

“don’t say that.”

“and the same for me.”

“ok then.”

I silently get my books out of my locker but that hurts my back like hell. So I sigh and put them back in there and take out my little book. I then turn to bell.

“I don’t feel that well. Im going to go home.”

Worry flits through her green eyes. “are you ok?”

“just my back.”

“ok then. Well be careful. Do you want the car keys? I can walk home.” And she starts fishing through her purse. I put a hand on her digging arm.

“no ill be fine. Just have have a good day. Ill see in a few hours.” And I give her the most convincing smile I have yet to use. She falls for it and smiles back.

“ok then sweetie. Hope you feel better.” And bell hugs me I respond trying not to wince. she pulls away and smiles.

“well I got to go. See you after school then.”

“yep bye.”

So she walks away and I face my locker until the bell rings and everyone leaves then I slam my locker shut and  walk to the office. When I open the door to it I am blasted with warm air that competes with the rest of the school.

“sweetie why are you here?” the sweet old lady that is the secretary of this school.

I grimace. “may I go home?”

“whats wrong?”

“I don’t feel too well and my back hurts still from the accident. It acted up yesterday.”

She nodds and fills out some papers. “ok well you may go now. Here is a paper for that. Hope you feel better tomorrow.”

I smile and take it. “thanks. Will do. bye.”

She says goodbye and I walk out and walk out the door and subconsciously walk out and surprise myself and end up in the front of the cemetery. I look up and read the sign. Something fall cemetery. But I shrug and move on and go to my parents tombstone and move away the fresh snow that came last night. I look up and fresh flakes are floating down. I smile into it and hold out my mitten and catch them and look at them closely.

The pros say that no two snow flakes can look the same. I agree with them. but I shake them off and shake them off my black skinny jeans and coat. I kneel and look into both of their tombs

“Hey mom, hey dad. Sorry that I haven’t visited you. But I miss you so much and I thought about you every minute of everyday.”

Silence. I chuckle at myself.

“Well not every minute but I miss you. It is hard to wake up and not see your faces or those pancakes you make every Sunday. Hard to not see you when I go downstairs for school. I even miss snapping at you. Im sorry for that. Im sorry for all the times I ever was mean to you but I cant take it back so ill say it now. Im sorry that-“ I cant even finish the sentence that Im shaking so bad from tears. My makeup is smearing down my face as I say this.

I angrily swipe the streaks off and sit down to get more comfortable. I sit silently for a while trying to calm myself down. It works for awhile. Then I think about it again and I burst into tears all over again.

It hurts.

I hurt.

But I get up and blow them a kiss and pretend Im alright just to put up a face for everyone. They don’t have to know Im hurting on the inside.

No one does.

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so the first thing I do when I get home, I write in my diary. I still haven’t read everything but just a few pages into it. Not much but it was hard to read that without bursting into tears and breaking down all over again.

Dear diary,

Yes I haven’t written in it for awhile but I have had a accident. So you see I was riding with josh apparently and crashed. I don’t know how I did that and he was fine but a car came onto us and I wasn’t wearing a seatbelt and flew through the windshield. I don’t know how I done that but I did. The worst thing is that I can’t remember anything about that. Explains the whole I have no idea what’s going on. I haven’t read this yet but I will one day. But I get some flashbacks. Some with pizza, to doing stuff with cal to waking up with a naked josh.

What did I do?

I honestly don’t know but I will figure this all out one day. One day. That’s all I need. Maybe I should go to some shrink. They could help bring back memories with other stuff. But that is just weird. No I don’t want to do that. But there is Calvin who says we were best friends and we are now dating. I like him very much. I do. I really do.

He says something happened at my party last year but I was so drunk that I can’t remember. I remember the accident. My brain can’t keep that bad memory out of my head. I can see in his eyes that it was important but I can’t remember. I hate that. I hate not remembering anything and having to disappoint everyone.

And then there’s josh. In the hospital he went up to me and I had to explain I lost my memory and he was like a ticking bomb and blew up and told me he loved me. I honestly haven’t felt that bad besides my parents in a long time. And all I could say was I was sorry. I had to look him strait in the eye and say that. His eyes, I could stare at them forever. They are so pretty. I’m sure he heard that way too many times by now from me. But I can’t help that. It sucks though, knowing nothing. Nothing tells me the truth.

Absolutely nothing.

I stop writing because I can’t think of anything else to write. There isn’t much to come along. But I tried. So I put it down and cover it up and go down stairs to relax and calm myself down.

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don’t be mad at me!!! I usually upload quickly but I haven’t had time to actually sit down and upload on my computer! So don’t hate me!! please comment and vote! Love to hear what you think of this book:)