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Romance at Blackpool

Faye:

The fact that we actually made it to Blackpool - the show special that most celebs are hoping to made it to - is still stunning to me. We'll be dancing a Paso Doble and while this is actually perfect to dance at Blackpool, I'm still ridiculously nervous because of last week. I think it's fair say that I'm overall scared of the show. There simply are such high expectations - especially because it's Blackpool - and we all know that I messed up in the Jive and not only that, I've also fully embarrassed myself with fainting backstage.

A lot of contestants (celebs and pros) had asked me if I'm feeling better and, fair to say, I felt embarrassed. So that's why the rehearsals are of course more difficult. Okay, we've got backing dancers as well, also for the lifts, but this just adds difficulty. I shake my head, taking a seat while Giovanni stops the music. "This isn't working out." I mumble. "It's just like it was with the Jive, it's so difficult."

"But you did well at the Jive-"

"Yeah I did so well." I say angrily, purely sarcastic. "I messed up the Jive, your favourite dance."

"You haven't. The Paso is slightly more easy and even if you make a mistake, that's nothing bad. Everyone makes mistakes; the other celebs make mistakes too and also, you're among the more talented ones."

"Have you just told me that some of the others lack talent?" I ask. 

"Maybe." Giovanni grins. "Hey you're gorgeous, okay? If you don't smash the Paso, you'll still have the publics' support."

He thinks so, but I doubt it. Now that the final is getting close, the public will not neccesarily vote for the ringers but for those who have the most sympathy on their side. And usually, the ringers haven't got the sympathy on thei side as the public prefers contestants with a journey at Strictly. And despite Giovanni's words are soothing, I still am doubtful. It just is like that; I constantly am talking myself down no matter if others tell me I do well. I wish I could be more confident. And also, I actually don't think I have the public on my side.

"Hey beauty, please smile for me. You look so beautiful when you smile - exactly!" Giovanni laughs as a smile appears on my face. Of course I have to smile when he's with me. Wait, what? What have I just thought? This is wrong. This is definitely wrong, I can't fancy him! Sure he's single but- but as if he would like me back at all! But I do. I like him, no- it's more than just liking him.

I'm falling in love with him.

This thought makes me happy and sad at the same time. Happy because he makes me feel so calm and happy - and sad because I know that he feels nothing more than friendship for me. Oh what have I gotten myself into?

Fair to say, I'm glad about rehearsals distracting me even if it's hard not to think about my feelings. I mean, I'm falling in love with Giovanni and no matter how I try to ignore these feelings, I keep thinking about it because I'm dancing with him. 

The week - despite it's full of rehearsals - is also full of my thoughts about these romantic feelings. Like, there are feelings between us, aren't they? But revealing them now - if Giovanni even has feelings for me - would make things so awkward that we would probably be eliminated. So I keep quiet, ignoring these romantic atmosphere and just am focusing on our  Paso. Or at least that's what I try to do.

And then it's show day; Blackpool week. During the styling - and the crew is doing their absolute best - I'd kept quiet, watching them as they were working with hair extensions, make-up and so on. And as all contestants are waiting backstage to walk up the stairs, I can't help and stare at Giovanni while we're waiting to enter the dance floor. I already looked at him like that in dress rehearsal and he seems to recognise it now. Well done.