Love you more

Confession

Faye: 

After my less glamorous behaviour after Blackpool, I apologised to Giovanni on several occasions. I wrote him a text message, I apologised in rehearsals and I bought him lunch with a note on it that said 'Sorry' and that was when he told me I don't need to apologise for anything. 

So I embarrassed myself but at least haven't made him angry, that's a good thing. The atmosphere between us is still a vit tense; not because of my actions but because we've not obly got a Waltz ahead but also a so-called Lindyhopathon. The thought of how close to the final we actually are now is making me nervous and emotional at the same time. We really started to prove ourselves the past few weeks, even after being in the dance-off at Blackpool. However, it already had been difficult when having to learn the opening dance and the Cha-Cha-Cha in the first live show but back then there was no elimination unlike now.

At the moment I'm really trying to learn this freaking Lindyhop. It's such a difficult dance, although I actually like dances like these - but I just keep forgetting what Giovanni told me for this performance. And I'm really angry with myself that I obviously can't dance correctly. Especially when thinking about our possible elimination or about the dance-off. We already had been in the dance-off, despite being near the top of of the leaderboard, so it seems obvious that the audience doesn't really like us.

Unfortunately there's a slight angry atmosphere between us today during rehearsals. The week had been emotional and exhausting for us both and now, with dress rehearsals ahead, our emotions simply go off. "You know what? I guess, I'm simply stupid." I growl, turning off the music, annoyed by the song and especially annoyed with myself.

"No, you're not stupid. It's a difficult dance and also, you're not a professional dancer." Giovanni answers. 

"Ask the public if that's really true!" I snap. "They've got a different opinion!"

"I see, you're angry." he replies.

"Of course I'm angry! Why do I keep forgetting how to dance correctly? It's just because of that damn Lindyhop!" I shout, taking off my dance shoes and rubbing my knees that are aching. It actually reminds me a lot of the Jive so maybe that's why I'm not fond on the dance - despite I actually like the Jive. But at the moment I'm confused by my own self.

"Don't be so harsh with yourself-"

"Well you know how to dance, Giovanni. But I don't. Whatever." I interrupt him. "So tell me what's planned for this performance to let the dance look a bit like a dance. Nice staging?"

"The staging is quite simple. It's actually not that important in this dance." Giovanni explains and starts the music.

"Oh, so the public will see how talentless I dance. But maybe now they will realize that I'm actually no pro." I reply.

"Don't talk like that!" he says sharply and I'm actually a bit stunned that Giovanni talks to me like that. Normally, he's a very friendly person and rarely shouts - as we barely argue - but well, I'm shouting at him too, so I guess he's also angry. 

"Gio in all honesty, I'm so fed up with the dance." I sigh. "My knees are absolutely aching and this dance is so difficult, I'm afraid to be in the dance-off again and to disappoint you. You're such a fantastic, talented person and I constantly disappoint you." I explain, getting angry at myself while talking. "Why can't I just shut up?"

Giovanni shakes his head and we sit down together, with him taking my hands. "Listen." he says after a while. "I know about your confidence, I know that you think you would disappoint me or that you're talentless. But you're such a talented dancer and such a wonderful person. Really, you're dancing so incredibly good but it's not only that. You're beautiful, sweet and- and I want to let you know that I really like you. You mean so much to me."