Naruto One-Shot (Yaoi)

The Great Shinobi Bake Off!

By chocolatechiplague

Tsunade POV

Today was the day that Tsunade promised she would stop drinking. She was a woman of her word and it wasn’t as if something stressful beyond reason was going to slap her in the face. Yet that was what happened when Gaara stepped into her office, holding the invination to help host Konoha’s greatest bake-off yet. There was no reason to bring up that this was the first shinobi bake-off they had ever had, or any hidden village had ever had but that was a small, tiny detail. The middle-aged woman had forgotten all about it and side eyed her booze in a locked cabinet. Well shit. Bad day to quit drinking.

But Tsunade was a strong, fierce woman, she could handle anything sober like a boss. Bring on the cake and cookies, she’d handle it head on!

Less than an hour later, she glanced over at the home-ec classroom they had taken over, taking note of the amount of shinobi that joined. It seemed like the entire main cast of the series was present for the most part. How was Sasuke here anyways? Wasn’t he like…a wanted criminal at this point? Was Neji supposed to be alive? Who cares? Hinata looked like she was about to own some serious ass with her baking skills and Tsunade was ready for delicious goods.

“Alright everyone, there will be two judges and two motivators. Gaara and myself, and then Gai with Kakashi.” She called out, watching her two best shinobi, one looking as if he would explode in youth (at this point, Tsunade was convinced he was on drugs, that man wasn’t natural and who cut his hair? They needed to be taken out of business) while Kakashi looked like he’d be better suited for all black, side swiped black hair and the phrase ‘it’s not a phase mom’. He just straight up didn’t want to be there and if she had to be there, then Tsunade wasn’t going down the depths of this hell alone.

Gaara looked about as eager as a raccoon facing off against a hunk of wood. Unimpressed. At least by anything not Naruto, like Jesus fuck, can he crush any harder without just dying? She wasn’t sure and didn’t fully care as she took a swig of water. Replace booze with water, yes, totally will work.

“There will be five rounds to this bake-off. Everyone get ready, you have an hour and a half to make a dozen chocolate chip cookies. Starting now!”

Immediately, everyone got to work. Naruto was already creating a mess as the others did measuring. What… what was Naruto even doing? Was he using handfuls as a measuring unit? How did this boy stay alive living alone? Oh god, no wonder he ate so much ramen, he couldn’t cook for shit.

“Naruto is doing well.” Gaara commented. Tsunade knocked back another shot of water.

Bad day to give up alcohol.

At the hour mark, Tsunade was getting worried. Naruto’s cookies had been in the oven for a long time already…and there was half an hour left to go. She was worried about the boy’s health at the moment if this was how he baked. Maybe his cooking was better. She looked around at the other contestants and felt a small twitch at the violent motions of Sasuke, the boy murmuring about killing his brother. Sakura was …. making pink cookies? Oh sweet lord, please give Tsunade mercy or death. Naruto’s cooking was going to kill her at least.

The timer went off and Tsunade felt the rays of heaven on her for the moment. She came crashing to reality when she realized that this meant she’d have to taste test everything. Tsunade should have made Kakashi do this part.

Breath in, breath out. You got this.

The first up was Ino with flower shaped cookies, sakura blossoms to be exact. “Tell us about your cookies, Ino.”

“I made sakura themed sugar cookies with cherry flavored icing. I wanted to match the sweetness of the real thing.”

Teen romance. Gross.