She walks by my side and grabs my arm, guiding me to 'my room.' I won't ask any further... I'll wait until I arrive. "We are here." She opened the door and let both of us in. She closed the door and turned the lights on. I frowned at tried to adjust my eyes. She can warn me first. Urgh... My head. I finally get to see properly. It was a big, old-fashioned room. Everything about it looked classy. Very pretty. "I brought your luggage earlier. Everything is in that closet." "Thank you very much.", I said. I wanted to ask a few things now that we were alone. But curiosity killed the cat. "That door...?", I asked glancing at a white door near the room's main door. "Bathroom." "Got it." "Goodnight Mrs. Vernon.", she said leaving. "Goodnight Mrs. Morel." She closed the door and walked away. I opened the bathroom door, stepped in, locked the door, and turned the shower on. I collapsed on the floor. "Huf... Huf... Huf...", I breathed non-stop. I crawled to the paper stall and grabbed some tissue. I was on the verge of crying. I breathed heavily. I was having a nervous breakdown. My chest tightens and I feel like I'm not breathing. "Kuuugh!", I whimper trying to breathe. Calm down, calm down... Breathe Margo. Tears slide down my face and fall on the bathroom floor. They're warm and comforting. Like a bitter hug. All the aspirations I let myself have in the past, even though my destiny was to never accomplish them, I hoped. And that was a beautiful lie to believe until reality visits you. I've always been a doll, a marionette. I was raised to be sold to the highest bidder, to be useful, to bring convenience to my family, to bring money. I am loved, I know. But love isn't enough to satisfy ambition. In this world love doesn't beat money, doesn't beats power. Love is love, and it can change people. But money... Is money, and it can move the world. So, this is what I reduce myself to... A birthday present. I might as well have a ribbon atop my head. I stand up and wipe my tears, in front of the mirror. My face looks swollen, that's no good. I sigh. I'm tired, my body aches from being so tense the whole day, and I feel overwhelmed with all that's happening, I feel hopeless and trapped. I feel scared and anxious. I don't want to be here. I don't want to be here. I don't want to be here...
But I have to obey my parents' wishes. It can't be helped. This was decided from the moment I was born... I just hoped... That this day somehow wouldn't come. Or that I would be brave enough to cancel a marriage arrangement. But I'm configured to obey... Obey my parents, my teachers, and now... This man. I need orders to know what to do. I was trained for that. I can't really think on my own. I need someone to tell me what to do. I was my parents' doll, and now I'm Mr. Vernon's puppet. Nothing has changed... I'm still useless and empty on the head. It's all okay, Margo. I was prepared for this my whole life. I got this. Be a good girl, and everything will be fine. 'Just be a good girl... Be pretty and obedient and you will never face a problem.' Thanks for that advice, mother... I took my clothes off and entered the shower.
I open my eyes in a shut. Oh... I had a weird dream... I dreamed that Mr. Vernon slept in here with me. I was so sure that we were going to sleep together, that it surprised me we didn't, and my perverted mind was dreaming weird things. It's a good thing that dreams and thoughts are for one alone.
The room was dark. I checked my phone and it was seven am. It's morning... Oops, it's late. I am used to being woken up. I turned the lights on and got ready and wore a short baby blue dress.
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