I'm Scared Of You.

20

I left Nicholas in the living room waiting while I searched for Salomon.

He was in the kitchen, cleaning. 

"Uhm... Salomon."
He turned around and grabbed my face suddenly. 
He had water in his green eyes. His wavy black hair trapped his frowned eyebrows. He looked desperate. 
"Don't leave me, I'm sorry. I'll clean. I'll be good...", he talked softly. Unconfident, totally different to himself a moment ago.
"Get off me", I shook his hands off.
He stood there waiting for my next reaction. 
"Nicholas is waiting for us."
He dropped on the floor on his knees.
I opened my eyes widely. 
"Margo please, don't, don't.", he pressed his face against my legs.
I grabbed his front hair and pulled it backwards so he could face me upwards.
His forehead was swollen and scratched from the fight.
He looked like a puppy.
He waited patiently for my sentence.
"Get it... Together!", I shook my leg off his arms. He grabbed my leg again and looked at me crying. 
"Margo... don't fucking do this! I can't I can't I can't live like this, without you Margo. I... I want kids! I want a family.  I know I get lost sometimes... I, but I need it, I need you here, like right here. You can't leave me today or never." He continued rambling lost in his words.
"Please, a thing I wouldn't do for you doesn't exists... I can give you my broken soul and my... my love for you! But I know you don't want it... I know it's asphyxiating, I know it's not perfect love but it is, I swear I love you, I just don't know how to love. Forgive me, just once, just now! I'm sorry. Please..."

I got on my knees at the same height of Salomon. He looked at me in the eyes begging me with everything he has.
"You're everything I have.", he said crying in my shoulder.

"Solomon, listen to me.", I grabbed his face and put it in front of me. I wiped his tears off.
"Your love... is poisonous, It's ugly and I can't Salomon. I can't.", I cried. "Please. It's killing me. It's suffocating. "

"No. No, no. No, Margo."

"Listen... please, please free me Salomon. Free us!  I can't anymore. ", I cried.

"No! I will give... I will give you anything but that! I will, I really will.", he cried grabbing my hand with the ring. "I will do anything, margo hozeldine. ANYTHING."
He hugged me like a granny hugging her grandkids.
"I... I killed for you... I would die for you. I... I will change for you... please!"
I shook him off.

"No!! What are you saying, you crazy! Don't try to manipulate me!"

"No! I'm not. I'm saying the truth!! I've never been so lucid ever, Margo. I love you... margo. Do you love me? Do I mean nothing to you?"

"Solomon pleeeaaase", I begged grabbing my face.

"Answer me, please?" He took my hands off my face.

"Salomon just-"

"Do you?"

"Stop this, just let me go!"

He grabbed my face with his hands and pressed his cold toxic lips with mine. 
Injecting me with death.
But seems like death itself couldn't do anything for me right now.
Because I was already in a hell  meticulously built for me.
I just didn't know how to name it.

Love, what an unfortunate thing it is.