Death. I know I've wanted this for years now, I craved death, I craved to take that one last breath, and that one last beat of the heart. But I also craved to die when I could of said goodbye. But there was no one to say goodbye to. I'd lost everyone. And even though I never had him, I lost Josh.
My chest feels heavy and my breathing is jagged and slow. My bones ache and feel like weights. Pins and needles constantly poke at my fingertips. My eyes move about frantically within my closed eyelids. Tingles erupt through my body and I realize I'm beginning to feel cold.
Maybe I was wrong about there being no after life. Because I feel more alive now than I ever have before. My lungs feel clear and fresh. I feel wide awake, even though I'm finding it difficult to actually open them.
My fingers twitch and I grip tightly onto a soft fabric. That's when I realize I'm lying down. I grip tighter. I don't know what I'm actually doing or trying to do, but I feel the need to grip harder onto something. I hold it so hard that even my horrendously chewed nails have cut through it and are now digging painfully into my skin.
That's when I huge gust of air fills my lungs. My body is suddenly pulled up into a sitting position and i can easily open my eyes.
My eyes roam my surroundings, my room.
The winter daylight shines through the open curtains and brightens the room. The back of my head feels like it's been hit with a cricket bat multiple times. I bring my hands to the spot of pain, as if that would help it.
I look at the clock and see it 1:03 P.M. On my bedside table is a bowl of fresh fruit, a glass of orange juice and a piece of paper.
My stomach growls and I shovel the sweet fruit into my mouth. Shortly followed by the flow of orange juice. I rub my sticky hands on the crisp white bed covers, not caring about stains.
I glance at the paper and pick it up with shaky hands. In a child-like scrawl are the words;
How do you say "goodbye" when you've hardly said "hello"?
For such simple words, they become so beautiful in a fucked up form. I wonder who it was from, who gave me the fruit, the juice, who saved me from drowning.
I sit and stare at the beautiful passage, I have never heard or seen it before, so maybe the person who gave it to me, wrote it themselves.
It has stopped raining now, and everything seems to be bone dry, the window the trees, the balcony, surely it would be a little bit damp, I mean the rain was torrential.
I almost jumped out of my skin at the sudden ringing of the phone. "Aha, Mr Sykes, you're finally awake" The cold voice of Mr Armstrong filled my ear. "You have a visitor, please come down to the common room". The line soon when dead, I kept the phone to my ear, listening to the gentle buzzing that always used to scare me when I was younger, I don't know why, It just did. I smiled at the long lost memory. When I was loved and had a family, but now, if there was any members of my family left, they wouldn't see me so innocent anymore and if they had the chance they might just kill me. It's only what I deserve.
I place the phone back in it's stand and swing the covers off me. Cold air brushes my body. I look down to see I'm completely naked.
Once I'm dressed I leave the comfort of my room. As I close my door, my ears are welcomed to the scream of Josh's name, coming from behind his door. Grunts and moans are followed. He must be with Abigail. It sounds like her whiny ass voice, the fucking slut. What! No, Oli stop, you don't know the girl, you're just jealous. I have a mini war inside my head over my feeling with Josh. Before I know it my palm and forehead is pressed against his door. My eyes are closed and I let out a loud sigh.
I wonder if he's any good, I mean Abigail seems to enjoy him.
Pulling myself out of a weird state and rub my eyes and carry on walking down the hall.
My footsteps echo down the stairs and into the common room.
The common room is less than half-full. Hang on, if Abigail is here then it must be Friday. How can it be Friday. I've been asleep for two days?
Josh's usual chair is empty. So I decide to occupy it. My body sinks into the plump chair cushions.
Looking around the room I see Matt sat by the window, drumming a beat on his knees. Some of his friends sit on the sofa, too close to me. I notice them staring, unkindly at me. I take the occasional glance, to see they're still staring. They're whispering to each other. I hear my name and Josh's. I feel myself sink lower in the chair. Feeling like I'm a vulnerable target.
"Is Sykes in here yet" The familiar voice of Douglas Owens sounds out.
Matt tares his gaze away from the window and sees me. He nods at me, gesturing to Doug I'm hear. "Oliver, your visitor, will be here in about five, she's talking to Harold at the moment" Doug says as I pick over the top of the chair to look at him. "I mean Mr Armstrong" He quickly corrects himself.
I nod. And Doug quickly exits the room. "So, Syko who's your visitor, she hot" Matt says, dumping himself on the sofa, closest to me. I just shrug, I don't really know who my visitor could be, I mean I don't know anyone anymore outside of these walls. And my head at the moment is in a bit of a daze, I'm still trying to grasp that it's Friday.
"Wait, of course you wouldn't find her hot, I mean you like dick don't you" He laughs, I don't see how it's so funny, mind. "Do you think I could take her for a bit, I'm throbbing" He winks at me. I pull a disgusted face.
"Oliver!" Before I turn around, Matt wolf-whistles.
"Dude, please let me bang her!" Matt pleads. I turn around to see my visitor, I smile, it's the only face I see comfort in now.
I turn around to Matt and shove him back down on the sofa. "Stay the fuck away from her, cunt!"
_________________________________________________________
Title: Dead Man Talking by Architects
I'm so sorry for the lame chapter guys, I hate it, you probably hate it, ugh it's like the worst filler chapter everrrr, but I had huge writer's block, I knew what I wanted in the chapter, I just couldn't put it into words.
Anyway, who do you think Oli-pop's visitor is? And yay, he's still alive! Who do you think saved him? Who wrote the note?
Song on the side
This chapter is dedicated to Virulentwings, I'm sorry I've given you such a shit chapter love, but I've dedicated it to her, because not only this one but on my completed YMAS fanfic she was really supportive and she's helping me write my other stories and carry on with this, even if she doesn't know it so, thank you! Oh and she also has an amazing BMTH fanfic, with so many feels!
It's my first day back at school today (this was posted in the morning) so I'll try to keep updating this as frequently as I am doing for a week or so then I'll probably have a break and get a schedule for my other stories as well then I'll be updating differently. Hopefully you understood that! Wish me look in hell, seriously if I'm not on tonight I have died multiple times!
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Who Will Fix Me Now? » fransykes
FanfictionWelcome to Norwood House for the Insane. Home to serial killers, psychos, where all sanity has been lost. But it's also home to two men, Oliver and Josh. Can an asylum hold love or will it just crumble down like many minds.