Redheaded Bliss

Conversations to Bring Emotions.

"Belinda please don't be mad," Amber pleaded with me all the way home. I didn't say anything. "Belinda, please listen to me."

"What?! What the hell do you want?!" Amber winced and I sighed. She wasn't mine but why the hell did she sleep with him? It wasn't fair. It was all a stupid game in my eyes. 'What will piss Belinda off the most?'

"I was drunk, Belinda."

"That gives you no excuse. I know what the hell I do when I'm drunk."

"Are you jealous?"

"No, Amber. For God's sake, I just don't want to see you get yourself in to trouble. Or hurt.." I muttered the last part. The truth was, I really didn't want to see her hurt. She was amazing and at one point she had slowly made me feel amazing as well. Sometimes happiness only lasts but a moment, then never returns.

"If I've put you through so much hell, why do you bother with me?"

"You haven't put me through hell, Amber."

"Liar."

"How would you know," I retort.

"Everyone does."

"Explain."

"Your eyes give you away," she began. "No matter how well you can fake your mood, your eyes always give you away."

"If my 'eyes gave me away' why didn't you say anything?"

"You don't understand.." I pulled in to the driveway of her house. I felt my eyes burn. Tears. Shit.

"Get out."

"What?" Amber asked.

"Get out," I choked. Amber seemed to understand, so she got out and grabbed her stuff from the back seat.

And the dam breaks. I buried my face in my knees, and everything came out. All of the pain, all of the sadness, all of the things I hoped for, even though I knew I wouldn't get them. I knew her for such a short time; it was so unlike me to become attached. Attachment makes you vulnerable. And I chose to be vulnerable.

I heard a tap on the drivers side window, so I looked up slowly. There was Amber, her soft eyes, and sad smile. She slowly opened the door, and I leaned back. I didn't want her near me like that. I was a mess. Such a mess. I shook my head and she tilted hers.

"Come inside," she whispered. "I won't say a word, just come in and sit. I'll make some coffee and you can leave when you want.. just don't stay out here alone.."

So, I slowly gathered myself and got out of the car, walking into her home. It was like I was my 16 year-old self all over again. Sad, quiet and drinking coffee.