Doe In The Meadow | Peeta Mellark

fifteen

Part Two
Catching Fire

I stared into the mirror, as the reflection of myself, stared back. The train whistled loudly, and it rang in my ears. I reached up and traced the now healed ear of mine that had a chunk taken out from the games last year. It was a reminder of it all.

It was now the beginning of the tour. It had been a year already. I could hear the lot of them talking in the other cabin and finally, I decided to join, only out of obligation. I couldn't stay in the bathroom the whole ride, I knew that. They had been on here for half an hour and everytime I conjured up the courage to go out there, I'd recoil back into the compartment.

A silence filled the air as I opened the door, revealing myself and all their eyes looked to me. "Finally, you've decided to join us." Mayneck scoffed. My fingers fidgeted with each other as I looked over to Peeta.

"Well, this isn't awkward." Haymitch commented, clearly drunk, as Haymitch usually was. Peeta stared back at me and I quickly looked away, to Tallie who was walking towards my direction.

"Are you ready?" She asked, straightening the wrinkles in my shirt. I nodded and followed her over to a different seating area, away from Katniss and him. She poured me a cup of coffee, knowing it was the only thing that kept me alert anymore. "How do you feel?" She asked once more, genuinely concerned.

"Fine." I lied, slipping the flask from my jacket pocket and beginning to poor some of the whiskey into the mug.

"This tour will only take a week." She assured, snatching the flask from my grasp and confiscating it. I rolled my eyes at her. I didn't want to go back home. I wanted this train to start and never stop. I watched her eyes glance past my shoulder and then to her cup in her hands.

"He looking?" I asked, knowing he was, but really not wanting to turn around.

"Yes, dear." She gave me a sympathetic smile. "He's asked about you several times since they've been on here." She informed me. Anger began to fill my entire body. I wanted so desperately to turn, throw the mug of hot coffee at him, and just scream.

"Yeah? Well if he does again, tell him I'm not of his concern." I stood to my feet, and stormed away from her and to the chairs at the end of the compartment, now glaring at the boy I had loved.

It only took a few minutes before he decided to stand, indicating he was going to walk to me, when the train halted to a stop and we were now in District 11. Our first official destination of the tour. We all looked out the window, noticing the gloomy sky and colorless field. As we exited, peacekeepers were everywhere and the place just looked... dead. Effie made some remark about not being welcomed properly. I couldn't help but let my eyes roll to the back of my head.

We boarded onto a tank like vehicle. Our mentors and escorts on one side, us victors across. I sat as far from Peeta as I could, Katniss placed in between us, for the better.

I stared at the birds chasing one and other through the tall lengthy stems of the flushed flowers. It has been three months since I last heard from Peeta. I wrote him several times but never recieved anything in return.

I walked quicker as I made my way to the train where I sat in the same spot for hours and then the two days until I reached District 12.

I walked down the road where the two victors now resided. Peeta's house stood across from Katniss's.

I made my way up the stairs and to his front porch, where I knocked three times. No response. I knocked three more. Still no response. But I could hear someone inside.

"Peeta!" I called, knocking harder as tears filled my eyes. "Peeta, please answer me!" I knocked even harder, causing my knuckles to press against the wood, bleeding. I realized he wasn't going to open, and I felt my body drop to the floor in sobs. "I don't understand what I did wrong. Please, I can't do this without you!" I begged. "The nights are the worst. I can't sleep. I miss you, Peeta." I sobbed quietly into the palms of my hands. I couldn't begin to process this. I knew after a few months of him not responding, this was a possibility, but I never imagined it to be reality.

Suddenly, I felt an arm reach around me and a glimmer of hope crossed over, but dissapointment when I noticed it wasn't who I had wished for. "Where's Peeta, Kat?" I asked through tears. I swear, everything about me had been lost in those games. Most people came out stronger but I felt like I came out weak and afraid.

"Just come with me." She helped me to my feet and walked me across to her house, seating me in her room and placing herself beside me, listening to my cries.