*One Week Later*
We leave, again, today.
I don't want to. I don't want to.
"Mikey, go talk to her." Luke says placing a hand on my shoulder.
"No. I'm not finished packing." I continue to load my things.in the van.
I told Madi last weekend that we leave today. She got mad, and cursed at me for not telling her sooner
"Michael. Now." Luke demands
"Fine." I mumble as I put my last item away.
I sigh walking in the door.
I don't want to face a teary eyed Madi.
It'll make me stay.
To my surprise, she's standing in front of the couch, looking my direction.
"Please, promise me you wont turn into a dick this time."
I chuckle.
"I promise." I walk closer to her and wrap my arms around her.
"Promise me you'll never stop loving me." Madi is in tears now.
"Oh, baby, I promise." I hold her tighter and let a few tears fall myself.
"I'll never stop loving you."
"Michael, I don't want you to leave. I'm so used to you four being here, I don't know what to do when you're gone. All I do is sit around and cry. I'm lost, dumb, incomplete without you guys. I'm not myself."
"You'll see us soon. We'll come home. You're never alone. We're with you all the time. I promise. Just look around, we're here. We don't go away." I move strands of hair out of her face before gently kissing her cheek.
"Its not the same, though. I want you to hold me all the time. The only time I get to talk to you is when you're on stage. You've got me spoiled. I want to sleep in the same bed with you every damn time you're away. I want you home with me. Forever."
Madi buries her face in my T-shirt.
I don't know what to say.
What can I say?
"Michael, its time." Ashton comes in.
"Oh, Madi." He makes his way to us, and squeezes the life out of Madison.
"Ashy poo." Madi chokes out before hugging him again.
One by one, every one joins in for the hug.
None of us want to leave.
"We really have to go, guys." Calum says with tears.
Luke, Cal, and Ash pull apart.
I'm the last, because I can't let her go.
"I love you."
"I love you more."
I give Madi the best kiss I've given her the whole time we've been home.
The kiss lasts two minutes, as so the guys say.
"I'll call you as soon as I get there. I promise." I rest my forehead on hers.
Madi just nods and kisses me again.
I slowly pull away, not wanting to.
"I love you."
"I love you, too." Madi says as we all cram in the van.
Our first concert is just hours away. Enough to drive.
I watch out the window as Madi waves and watches the van disappear.
Gone.
Out of sight.
"Michael, you can let it all out." Ashton says, behind me with Calum.
"I hate leaving her," a few tears come to surface, "every time she cries, I feel I let her down. I feel I hurt her. For once, I want to just miss a whole tour time and be with her. I don't care how mad she'll be. I just want to be with Madi forever."
I few tears turn into me bawling my eyes out on Luke's T-shirt.
"Its okay." Luke says, not knowing what to do with his hand.
"Don't tell me that! I left her! Its not okay. It never is, it never will be." I lay my head in Luke's lap and finish crying.
I've never cried like this.
I've never cried over a girl.
Except Alisha.
She doesn't count.
Luke eventually puts one hand on my hip, and the other running through my hair.
I don't care if it's messed up.
I don't care if I'm being a baby
I don't care
"Can we go get her?" I ask closing my eyes.
The image of Madi smiling pops into my head.
It makes me cry again.
"No, buddy, we can't." Cal says, sounding beat down.
"She can come on tour with us. I'm sure of it."
"Michael, she can't. They wont let her. I've already asked." Luke says
"Why not?" I whine.
"Because, they feel she'll get more hate. She gets enough, already, as it is."
"But, I want her here with me." I sniffle.
"We all do, Mikey."
Was the last thing I heard before another image of Madi pops in my head.
I smile.
She's got complete control over me.
I fall asleep, head in Luke's lap, Madi's image in my head, crying.
Madi is the only person who has this control over me.
She's the only girl I've really loved.
She's my heart.
She's my soul.
She's my everything.
