for the love of the game / Destiel College AU

The End

It's now summer; Dean and Cas have established a routine and become best friends- and maybe occasionally more than that, but both tried to keep things platonic. Generally, it didn't work.

Dean walked in the room to find Cas staring at an envelope. From the look on his face, Dean could almost believe Cas was terrified of the envelope. Softly setting down his stuff by the door, he walked over to Cas and rubbed his back.

"What is it?" Dean's whispered question made Cas turn to look at Dean. Tears pooled in his eyes.

That was the first moment that Dean started to get scared, and rightly so.

"It's a basketball offer from a school."

"That's great, Cas!" Dean tried to sound enthusiastic, but Cas was moving to another school? They could still make it work, right?

Cas cut him off. "The school is in London. It's for five years."

"I'll be gone; I'm not staying at this college forever, eventually I'm going to find a job back in Kansas as a neurologist," Dean realized. They couldn't do long distance for five years; would Cas even want to? No, Cas would forget him- five years can cause a lot to happen to a person, especially in another country, where he could meet someone and- stop. Dean felt his world crumbling around him. Cas had been the one to break down the walls he had shown the rest of the world, Cas had promised he'd always be with Dean; Cas was leaving?

Cas's tearful blue eyes looked into Dean's green ones, and Dean knew he had to let Cas go, because it was what was best for Cas. Maybe not for Dean, but Dean could take a little pain. He always could. He had been for his whole life- what's five years more? And then he realized- no, this would last his entire life. But, he wasn't going to rebuild the walls, because Cas had broken them down, and he wasn't ever going to forget Cas. He wasn't ever going to move on, yet he wanted Cas to move on. Cas needed to.

So, they stayed like that for a long, long time, hugging each other on the floor of their dorm room that they had shared so many memories in, neither one wanting to let go. But time is inevitable; time always ticks by, people move on, and life? Life never stops, not even for a minute, not even for a second, not even long enough for a goodbye. Life is cruel, and life is hard, and life is beautiful. Time is fast, and time is slow, and time never, ever stops. Eventually they had to disentangle each other from the cage they'd woven themselves into, the embrace of warm bodies and beating hearts.

The next few days were filled with tears and memories, stuffed into Cas's blue bag that was filled with all he was taking with him. Just one suitcase for all the memories he had from America; one suitcase with Polaroids of him and Dean in it, a cassette tape mix that Dean had made for him, and a camera that Cas had secretly taken pictures and videos of Dean on, and just enough to start his new life with.

Dean came into the room where Cas was packing, and just stood there. Cas knew they both looked like wrecks and felt even worse. Cas just continued packing his things almost obsessively, aggressively throwing things into the suitcase, until Dean pulled his hands away gently and held them.

"I have something for you," Dean said, smiling a little. Cas could see the effort that that took him.

He let go of Cas's hands and pulled out a package. "I wanted to give this to you before- before you left," he said, sniffling a little. Cas wanted to tell him so many things, to say he was sorry, to say this wasn't the end, that he'd be back, but they both knew that nothing was certain. So many words, floating in the air. So many things left unsaid. Who knew what they could have been?

Dean stopped him opening the package with a wave of his hands. "Open it when you're in London," he chuckled with a sad undertone.

"I just wanted to ask- please don't forget me. Whatever you do, when you come back, if you come back, you don't have to find me. I- I always knew life sometimes doesn't work out. Nothin' is perfect, 'specially not us; it's too much to hope for. But just promise me, please, that even if you never see me again, never forget me. Never forget us. Whenever it rains, remember- remember our first kiss? Our song?" Dean whispered hoarsely, tears silently dripping down his face. "Whenever you feel lonely or scared, look at the stars, and I'll be watching the same stars, and eventually when your love for me fades, you'll be left with a memory, a good one-" Dean broke off with a sob.

Dean looked up at Cas. "Yeah, we gave it our shot, didn't we? And it wasn't written in the stars, we didn't make it, but life- it isn't about winning. It's about the memories. And we had fun, we made memories. Good ones."

Now Cas was crying. "Yes, Dean. Yes, we did. All the memories we made- they'll stay with me, no matter how long it is, no matter how far away I am. I promise I won't forget you, ever. I don't think I could ever stop loving you. God, I couldn't if I tried."

Dean didn't come to the airport, but he stood hugging Cas in the room and said, "This isn't goodbye. I'll see you again."

Cas smiled. "See you again."

And then he got on the plane, seeing his whole world shrink to nothing below.

When he arrived in London, fully intending to begin again, everything reminded him of Dean, and then he remembered the package. He opened it in the lonely hotel room.

It was a tape recorder with a tape. Dean had written on it in scrawling letters: For Cas, All of the Stars. He slid in the tape and listened.

"Hey, Cas, by now you're in London.

Please don't start talking with a British accent." Here he can hear a laugh, then a sniffle.

"Well, anyway, open the window, and look at the sky."

He shoved the window in his room open, the fresh air rushing through the stuffy room. The stars are beautiful and gleaming, and he knew if Dean was here, he'd point out the constellations, but he was alone. He heard the faint notes of a guitar from the tape, and listened.

It's just another night
And I'm staring at the moon
I saw a shooting star
And thought of you
I sang a lullaby
By the waterside and knew
If you were here
I'd sing to you
You're on the other side
As the skyline splits in two
Miles away from seeing you

But I can see the stars from America, I wonder- can you see them too?

Cas thought he was done crying, but no, here he was sitting in a room alone in a foreign country, missing Dean so much his heart hurt. Yet, he felt Dean was sitting there right beside him, singing. That's how he fell asleep, watching the stars and almost feeling at peace.

So open your eyes and see
The way our horizons meet
And all of the lights will lead
Into the night with me
And I know these scars will bleed
But both of our hearts believe
All of these stars will guide us home