I'm okay | k.th | ✓

s e v e n t e e n

Her
It's crazy how all of a sudden someone you don't know can get so close to you. I sat down in front of my window, my finger following the water droplet from the rain.

Taehyung went home a few hours ago, but I still felt his hand in mine. His soft lips on mine. I knew this was all wrong, but was it so wrong to feel alright again? To feel...

Loved again? 

I was sorry for him, he needed to put up with a cry baby, a pathetic existence, but why didn't I want him to go? Why didn't I push him off when our lips connected. I don't know. My brain started to hurt and I turned my face towards the couch. A flash of memories appeared, and I saw my mom and me sitting on the couch.

"Mommy! Count to ten!" Little me giggled and my mom had a heart warming smile on her face. The smile I haven't seen in ages. What happened? What made her turn so cold, what made her turn into a monster?

It was me. It was all my fault, I destroyed everything I had in one second. It was all because of me and she knew. She knew I was a sinner. 

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes to hold the tears. I sat there in silence for a while 'till a ring from my phone caught my attention. I gulped down the lump in my throat and secretly hoped it was Taehyung. I loosened my neck and relaxed my shoulders. 

My feet made my way towards my phone and without looking I picked it up. 

"Tae-" 

"Hey Chae." And there was it, on the other line I heard someone speaking I didn't want to hear. 

"Hobi." I said, my face saddening because it was not Taehyung. 

"Do you mind if I come-." I didn't let him finish his sentence.

"I'm busy." I cut him off and bit my lip. I had no need meeting him and pretending to be happy. 

My eye fell down on my sleeve which was red. It has been a few days and the wounds started to heal, but they were to visible and probably leave a scar. 

"Chae? You're never busy." I heard Hoseok grin on the other side. Honestly it made me angry. Only now I realized how kind I was to other people who did not deserve it. 

"Well too bad I am now." I said coldly and hung up the phone. I poked my innercheek with my tongue and scrolled through my calls. There he was, the number of the only person in the world I momentary live for. My happiness. 

Kim Taehyung.